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Old 02-12-2017, 17:06   #1231
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

Wifey B: Anyone male or female who complains about having to provide support for their kids, whether single or divorced, is a total scumbag. They are your responsibility and don't just deserve your support, but your love forever, unconditionally. Too many people having too many kids and not taking that responsibility seriously.

Obviously one household is more efficient than two but that's the price.
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Old 02-12-2017, 17:22   #1232
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

What has happened to Peter "Plukky" Lukursky of Youtube's Sailing into Freedom? I was sure this board would have a thread on the disaster. Both sides of the catamaran developed a largish hole after losing a battle with a coral reef.

There are many videos of the disaster. Understandably they all ask for financial help which I can not do. After Hurricane Irma, I could also ask for help.

Speaking of single men living aboard and cruising....He was/is more high profile than all but a few.
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Old 02-12-2017, 17:24   #1233
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

Wifey B: Let's separate a few things. The Weinstein's of the world. Evil power abusers. They are jerks to all around them, just sexually take advantage of those that interest them in that regard. It's all about power. In any decent company they'd have long ago been fired. Anyone partnering with them is a louse as well, choosing to conveniently look the other way.

I don't care about someone who said something they shouldn't have one time 40 years ago, but I sure as heck care about those using their power for sexual harassment and I care about 32 year old's who dated 14 year olds.

Harassment is a workplace crime. Not just bad behavior.

Then bad behavior in society is much different. If someone sees me walking by and says, "wanna f... baby." That's bad behavior. I either ignore or come back with a line to put them in their place, but I don't allow it to affect me and I'm free to walk away. Wolf whistle, I must admit to have blown a kiss once to a construction dude who was several stories high on a scaffold. Was afraid he'd fall off, but he wasn't a threat to me. However, tight space I'd find it creepy, an undesired advance. Someone touches me when they shouldn't in a non work place, I handle it quickly and forcefully and they know not to try again.

Smart people approach those who they find attractive politely and say things about how beautiful their eyes are, not the size of their boobs. Now, I dress provocatively. That means I expect to be looked at. I can't object to that. I do object to comments or grabs though. I know the line and expect others to.

Sex....that's right...see I said it....sex sex sex. It's an important part of life. Two people cooped up tight in a boat, it's an issue. It's one they must discuss in advance and discuss the rules. Make it clear. Don't go into it confused or vague. Agree whatever. Maybe it's not required or planned but if it happens ok, but then no means no. Each situation different. But don't avoid the discussion. Any two people set out sailing together and haven't discussed it are just fools. They don't know what the other is thinking and they need to. They need honesty.

Sexual harassment in the work place is more often about power than sex though.

It all comes down to right and wrong, respect for others. Do unto others. Being a decent human being.
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Old 02-12-2017, 17:45   #1234
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Originally Posted by Gadagirl View Post
Depends on what state you live and how much that check entails. But broadly in the US, women and children after divorce or separation of biological parents,are left less well off than their now single husbands/fathers.

If you want pity, or excuses for abandoning responsibilities to your offspring, OK. The checks being written in most instances don't cover nearly half the expense of housing, feeding, clothing, insuring medically, extracurricular activities, education, or any number of things. In my state there is a simple formula based on your gross income. That formula doesn't take into account many expenses. Divorce and separation almost always leave the custodial parent the larger financial burden. Male or female. I disagree the men are financial victims of their own life choices.

As to alternatives to traditional relationships? I believe women are exercising that option as well. i support that. If a persons personal lifestyle does no harm to me personally, physically, or financially I consider it none of my business, live and let live.
You should read what I wrote not what you think I meant.
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Old 02-12-2017, 21:05   #1235
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Originally Posted by Gadagirl View Post
Depends on what state you live and how much that check entails. But broadly in the US, women and children after divorce or separation of biological parents,are left less well off than their now single husbands/fathers.

If you want pity, or excuses for abandoning responsibilities to your offspring, OK. The checks being written in most instances don't cover nearly half the expense of housing, feeding, clothing, insuring medically, extracurricular activities, education, or any number of things. In my state there is a simple formula based on your gross income. That formula doesn't take into account many expenses. Divorce and separation almost always leave the custodial parent the larger financial burden. Male or female. I disagree the men are financial victims of their own life choices.

As to alternatives to traditional relationships? I believe women are exercising that option as well. i support that. If a persons personal lifestyle does no harm to me personally, physically, or financially I consider it none of my business, live and let live.
I have gone back and reread the comments. For myself, nowhere did I use the words pity or victim nor did I state I was relating my personal experience or expressing approval or disapproval. I was not complaining about anything or being judgemental in any way. Quite the contrary. All parties involved have responsibilities and should live up them. Goes without saying I thought.

Divorce can be ugly for all concerned most particularly when there are children involved which I acknowledged in my first post.

FWIW I made no comments about which party might leave the other.

Seems to me that you are projecting a lot into my observation that men might be becoming reluctant to commit or marry given the high divorce rate and what the financial consequences become.

Given that reality and the topic of this conversation I pointed out, like some others here, that men might be pursuing alternatives. Again, I am not complaining by accurately pointing this out.

I don't know if women have the same concerns about relationships and marriage so didn't presume to speak for them. Any insight there?
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Old 02-12-2017, 21:13   #1236
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

Women need a man like fish need a bicycle.
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Old 02-12-2017, 21:29   #1237
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Sexual harassment in the work place is more often about power than sex though.
Confused women say that, with very little understanding of the way men are wired.
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Old 02-12-2017, 21:38   #1238
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Women need a man like fish need a bicycle.
Hmm, fish don't need a bicycle so you are saying that women don't need men?

Need = ?

Do men need a bicycle?
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Old 02-12-2017, 22:16   #1239
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Confused women say that, with very little understanding of the way men are wired.
Wifey B: B.S. I know how they're wired, but they use their power in those positions to take advantage sexually. Rape is more a violent crime than a sexual one. Oh, and incidentally, women do also sexually harass men from positions of power, it's not at all unheard of. The men wiring BS is just convenient excuse of men. Do you honestly think men are more sexually wired than women? If so, you haven't been around the kind of women I know. Women engage in the same fantasies, same dirty thoughts and talking. It's just harassment comes from a position of power.
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Old 02-12-2017, 22:19   #1240
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Originally Posted by sailpower View Post
Hmm, fish don't need a bicycle so you are saying that women don't need men?

Need = ?

Do men need a bicycle?
Wifey B: Yes, figure that quote out if you can.

He's dealing with old and prior generations if he doesn't think women want and need sex. Now, not necessarily with men. Other women can do a darn good job and combined with toys. Still some of us really need it from our man, might even be guilty of overworking him.
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Old 02-12-2017, 22:19   #1241
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Originally Posted by BandB View Post
Wifey B: B.S. I know how they're wired, but they use their power in those positions to take advantage sexually. Rape is more a violent crime than a sexual one. Oh, and incidentally, women do also sexually harass men from positions of power, it's not at all unheard of. The men wiring BS is just convenient excuse of men. Do you honestly think men are more sexually wired than women? If so, you haven't been around the kind of women I know. Women engage in the same fantasies, same dirty thoughts and talking. It's just harassment comes from a position of power.
I find it hard to believe this still has to be explained to some men
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Old 02-12-2017, 23:16   #1242
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Well, you've given examples of women who like it. So maybe I should have said, SOME women, etc.

My background in this is first, being a woman. Here's one example, from when I was much younger: I was riding my bicycle home from work,along the street, and some guy reached out and smacked my bottom. As they drove on, there was male laughter. No harm was done, but I felt it was invasive. Later on, my work involved working with women, and it is their stories I had in mind when I wrote that women feel threatened by wolf whistling.

Both our samples of womanhood are biased, I think, mine from people who have been harmed by men, and yours from other backgrounds.

Perhaps we can agree that both types --and perhaps others--exist.

Ann
Absolutely agree Ann, we frame our beliefs based on our experiences to date, this includes ME.

One of the reasons I take the side of the argument that I do, is to add balance, I'll even argue a little further to my side than I need because I believe the noise has to be equal on both sides in order to achieve that balance, the problem with politically correct narratives is to many people on the non political correct side don't speak up due to fear of getting shunned.

These arguments often swing to far one way, the majority of men are decent guys and it's very easy in these discussions for a out of balanced narrative to take place, and to forget most guys do not abuse women in any way, or certainly don't abuse women anymore than women abuse them (emotionally).

In no way do I believe women aren't being abused, sexually, violently etc, it has to stop BUT there's a whole lot of women that also play the victim role because it suits their agenda (not talking sexually or violently ) , SOME women use their sexuality , sympathy of the courts and various other means to manipulate their circumstances. Men may not have the bruises but they certainly end up with scars!

A previous poster mentioned men that don't financially support the upbringing of their children after divorce, I know this is true BUT there's also a whole lot of women that abuse their POWER as mother by denying access or limiting access of the kids to the dad, I've seen this many times, it's heartbreaking, I watched my ex wife do it to her previous husband (thank God I never bred with her).

Humans abuse humans, not just men abuse women.

BTW, I've never wolf whistled, I can't whistle.. Lol. Even if I could I wouldn't, it's not me.

You mentioned ageism, it obviously exists BUT it also has another side, people are less inclined to be harsh in their replies to a "sweet little old lady" (no offence meant Ann, words used for effect ) than they are to a young or middle age man, there's some benefits that come with age as well as the downside of"AGEISM".
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Old 02-12-2017, 23:21   #1243
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Wifey B: Let's separate a few things. The Weinstein's of the world. Evil power abusers. They are jerks to all around them, just sexually take advantage of those that interest them in that regard. It's all about power. In any decent company they'd have long ago been fired. Anyone partnering with them is a louse as well, choosing to conveniently look the other way.

I don't care about someone who said something they shouldn't have one time 40 years ago, but I sure as heck care about those using their power for sexual harassment and I care about 32 year old's who dated 14 year olds.

Harassment is a workplace crime. Not just bad behavior.

Then bad behavior in society is much different. If someone sees me walking by and says, "wanna f... baby." That's bad behavior. I either ignore or come back with a line to put them in their place, but I don't allow it to affect me and I'm free to walk away. Wolf whistle, I must admit to have blown a kiss once to a construction dude who was several stories high on a scaffold. Was afraid he'd fall off, but he wasn't a threat to me. However, tight space I'd find it creepy, an undesired advance. Someone touches me when they shouldn't in a non work place, I handle it quickly and forcefully and they know not to try again.

Smart people approach those who they find attractive politely and say things about how beautiful their eyes are, not the size of their boobs. Now, I dress provocatively. That means I expect to be looked at. I can't object to that. I do object to comments or grabs though. I know the line and expect others to.

Sex....that's right...see I said it....sex sex sex. It's an important part of life. Two people cooped up tight in a boat, it's an issue. It's one they must discuss in advance and discuss the rules. Make it clear. Don't go into it confused or vague. Agree whatever. Maybe it's not required or planned but if it happens ok, but then no means no. Each situation different. But don't avoid the discussion. Any two people set out sailing together and haven't discussed it are just fools. They don't know what the other is thinking and they need to. They need honesty.

Sexual harassment in the work place is more often about power than sex though.

It all comes down to right and wrong, respect for others. Do unto others. Being a decent human being.
Haven't agreed with some of your previous posts, but you nailed this one, well said.
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Old 03-12-2017, 07:13   #1244
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

But there are levels of awareness; most men have no idea how they unconsciously disrespect the women in their lives, maybe every day.

Mansplaining, interrupting, manspreading on public transport are some seemingly trivial examples. Unequal wages and underepresentation in politics and top management more serious ones.

Same with racism. And members of the oppressed group often actively complicit, takes huge social efforts, raised levels of awareness all 'round for many decades to make significant progress.

And actively supported by legal measures, with members of the historically privileged group complaining of mistreatment all the while.

When you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression
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Old 03-12-2017, 08:00   #1245
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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I'm divorced.

I have a 50' corecell/epoxy catamaran that needs a year worth of work inside and another dump truck full of money, including several staterooms and a rig done. (quote for rig? $48,000) It's currently in power boat mode.

I've been having a lot of good luck lately meeting great, incredibly attractive younger women. However, as a generality, they are not interested in living with me on half finished boats, nor traveling or leaving their jobs/family.

These women were met online at first, then in real life. They are scattered throughout the usa, many of them inland.

They all have local lives and aren't ready to travel, nevermind on a boat that is still a construction project.

I'm getting older now and though I can still attract very, very attractive women, it's not going to be that way much longer. I'm in a window of opportunity looks/money wise to attract great ones right now. BUT... I'm wasting a fortune on my boat and have basically nowhere to host anyone still due to it being unlivable for females (i can tough it out just fine)

So... I'm seriously considering selling this boat as a project boat, converting a box truck and roaming the country to date/meet people. Later, with someone or when I feel like it, I could put the vehicle on a roro ship and send it to various countries, fly there and explore.

I have been on boats for my whole adult life, living aboard, making a living from them, etc.

Boats feel confining to me right now in that I can't get anywhere quickly or travel to most of the world (just to the harbors) with them.

I am stuck on the East Coast of the USA. I want to go to the west coast, the Midwest, to Europe, Asia. By the time I get this boat done and ready for ocean crossings, I'll be much older. I could get an rv done in a few months. It's just one room/bathroom and systems. The catamaran is huge. So many rooms. I have also developed an epoxy allergy helping the pro builders that built the boat, so I can hardly do the odds and ends without discomfort. I had planned to finish the interior myself.

I'd love to hire someone to do the interior, but couldn't afford much more than $15/hr take home for them.

What's a single guy to do?

Keep sacrificing my life to this boat, or get out and go live?

Why are there so many single guys on boats too? That's kind of disturbing to think I may end up as one of them (no offense, but I'm very into being with women... like it more than boats).

What should I do?
Above all, remember the words of Alfie's father: "Son, you show me a beautiful woman, and I'll show you a bloke who's sick o' shaggin' her." Walk it off.
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