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Old 01-12-2017, 21:28   #1216
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

Do not put trust in enforced counseling to make sex offenders get better. Mostly, it doesn't happen. Most forced counseling doesn't work too well as the people who need it resent being forced.

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Old 01-12-2017, 21:33   #1217
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Guys, believe it or not, the "wolf whistle" can be perceived as threatening. You may think it is harmless, but women as a group are fairly aware that men are bigger, and that they themselves are potential victims of getting crosswise with that superior power. Most do not take the wolf whistle as a compliment, but as a potential threat.

Ann
Ann, that's your opinion. The female crew I have onboard presently is 51 and I've discussed this with her, her thoughts "it's just a wolf whistle, shes never had a problem with it, she also said some guys at construction sites etc act unaccordingly with more than a wolf whistle which she finds not so nice, but in Spain where she lives there's no issue with the wolf whistle.

Driving around a round about recently in Spain some workers yelled out "Guapa" she drove around a second time laughing and she called out"Guapo" (hi good looking)!

Her exact words just now, were what's wrong with a little bit of attention, put a smile on my face first thing in the morning.

Maybe some in this world are getting a little to sensitive and precious and need to look/change their perspective of the world, instead of expecting the world to change around them?
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Old 01-12-2017, 21:58   #1218
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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John, that is a good article and I hope they keep getting support

On a larger scale, I firmly believe that moral guidance should start with the parents reinforcing the basic concept...
....Do unto others as you would wish done unto you....

I think I've said all I can say on this presently hot topic,.....
...sad when old baggage from broken marriages and relationships, raise their ugly heads.....

As the article says.....its all about consent, .....which should be an evolving guideline, never to be forced.
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Old 02-12-2017, 06:39   #1219
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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As the article says.....its all about consent, .....which should be an evolving guideline, never to be forced.
This it would improve my changes if I renamed my boat My Consent?
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Old 02-12-2017, 07:52   #1220
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Hi John,

Sailors should be upfront with what they hope to get sexually from a female crew, before that lady commits to a passage.
Well said... I'm thinking on it...

As you may have figured thus far I'm not the uptight kind at all, but a couple of my crewing experiences have left me disheartened.

If I may make an observation:

Out of all my crewing experiences, the honest one was the one who ADMITTED he was looking for a mate from the start. He was respectful, because it wasn't about getting laid, at least, right off the bat. He had no tricks up his sleeve, as in, "my wife will join us" or "yes, yes, no hanky-panky, whatever you say..." It was a relief actually because the sexual tensions were enveloped and contained by the larger, more in-depth and honest questions.


i'm convinced now that the very idea of having females as "crew" brings forth all kinds of exciting fantasies, ones that are not so easy to restrain when the female crew in question is rather desirable.

Perhaps I could get myself a sailing hat made with this line printed all away around it, and then wear it when i crew :

---Sailor, be upfront with what you hope to get sexually from me, before this lady commits to the passage---

Sooooooo maybe, I could be like a MALE and crew and sail anywhere! What liberty!!!!!!!

then again, the guys are NOT looking at my head nor the hat I am wearing as much as they are checking out my slim longness, the way i move on deck, the way i love sailboats and tools, my fix-it ideas, my enjoyment when the boat heels, the way i feel about adventure...

i'm fairly certain that the hat idea is not gonna work...
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Old 02-12-2017, 09:45   #1221
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Originally Posted by Chichi View Post
Well said... I'm thinking on it...

As you may have figured thus far I'm not the uptight kind at all, but a couple of my crewing experiences have left me disheartened.

If I may make an observation:

Out of all my crewing experiences, the honest one was the one who ADMITTED he was looking for a mate from the start. He was respectful, because it wasn't about getting laid, at least, right off the bat. He had no tricks up his sleeve, as in, "my wife will join us" or "yes, yes, no hanky-panky, whatever you say..." It was a relief actually because the sexual tensions were enveloped and contained by the larger, more in-depth and honest questions.


i'm convinced now that the very idea of having females as "crew" brings forth all kinds of exciting fantasies, ones that are not so easy to restrain when the female crew in question is rather desirable.

Perhaps I could get myself a sailing hat made with this line printed all away around it, and then wear it when i crew :

---Sailor, be upfront with what you hope to get sexually from me, before this lady commits to the passage---

Sooooooo maybe, I could be like a MALE and crew and sail anywhere! What liberty!!!!!!!

then again, the guys are NOT looking at my head nor the hat I am wearing as much as they are checking out my slim longness, the way i move on deck, the way i love sailboats and tools, my fix-it ideas, my enjoyment when the boat heels, the way i feel about adventure...

i'm fairly certain that the hat idea is not gonna work...
Not sure about the sailing hat idea (as creative as it may be).....I did once see a gal in Thailand wearing a shirt with "No Sex Please" printed on it. For some reason this tickled me. The message is quite direct, and one can always decide NOT to wear the shirt if you change your mind. Brilliant!
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Old 02-12-2017, 09:57   #1222
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Not sure about the sailing hat idea (as creative as it may be).....I did once see a gal in Thailand wearing a shirt with "No Sex Please" printed on it. For some reason this tickled me. The message is quite direct, and one can always decide NOT to wear the shirt if you change your mind. Brilliant!
There we go! THANK YOU!

i'm going get three t-shirts made and get back on boats!

while i'm at it, i think i'll get three bikini tops made with these words as well... that way, things are clear after a swim too...

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Old 02-12-2017, 10:45   #1223
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

Cleaning up an old joke;

If it flies, floats or flirts, rent it.

As with most humor there is an underlying truth.

Despite the legal issues there is no shortage of sex workers in this country. Whatever your urge there is someone willing to satisfy it.

All sex workers are not created equal. There is a large leap from streetwalker to escort. For two or three hundred dollars and up there can be an attractive escort ready to provide the ultimate GFE. Viva the internet.

Obviously this is nowhere the same as a traditional relationship but given the horrendous divorce rates and the associated financial disaster for the male partner, not every man wants that traditional approach these days.

Add in the horror stories of the litigious date and there is a reason that the new “realistic” sex robots are becoming a hit. Not my cup of tea but on some level I understand the sentiment.

Color me old fashioned but I still prefer the chivalrous approach. Many women do as well. I know younger women who complain that they want to meet someone their age with my values. They are not talking about beta males either.

To me life is not a business transaction but at times I can see the appeal.

Children change everything of course.
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Old 02-12-2017, 14:11   #1224
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

Good collection of relevant articles.
https://www.metafilter.com/170919/Ne...d-on-MTA-alone

I like the summary comment

Men are Entitled Asshats Who Need to Cut This **** Right Out
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Old 02-12-2017, 14:24   #1225
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Obviously this is nowhere the same as a traditional relationship but given the horrendous divorce rates and the associated financial disaster for the male partner, not every man wants that traditional approach these days.
In my experience, the financial disaster is more likely to befall the female partner. And way more disturbingly the children.

And it just really gets my goat, in light of recent social changes, that men want to play this financial victim card. For my entire life they have denigrated women for "playing financial victim" when it comes to wages and other issues. But when it comes to supporting their children or compensating the wife that gave up her career opportunities it's suddenly financial ruin for you? HUH?
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Old 02-12-2017, 14:32   #1226
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Ann, that's your opinion. The female crew I have onboard presently is 51 and I've discussed this with her, her thoughts "it's just a wolf whistle, shes never had a problem with it, she also said some guys at construction sites etc act unaccordingly with more than a wolf whistle which she finds not so nice, but in Spain where she lives there's no issue with the wolf whistle.

Driving around a round about recently in Spain some workers yelled out "Guapa" she drove around a second time laughing and she called out"Guapo" (hi good looking)!

Her exact words just now, were what's wrong with a little bit of attention, put a smile on my face first thing in the morning.

Maybe some in this world are getting a little to sensitive and precious and need to look/change their perspective of the world, instead of expecting the world to change around them?
Well, you've given examples of women who like it. So maybe I should have said, SOME women, etc.

My background in this is first, being a woman. Here's one example, from when I was much younger: I was riding my bicycle home from work,along the street, and some guy reached out and smacked my bottom. As they drove on, there was male laughter. No harm was done, but I felt it was invasive. Later on, my work involved working with women, and it is their stories I had in mind when I wrote that women feel threatened by wolf whistling.

Both our samples of womanhood are biased, I think, mine from people who have been harmed by men, and yours from other backgrounds.

Perhaps we can agree that both types --and perhaps others--exist.

Ann
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Old 02-12-2017, 14:42   #1227
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

Here's a hint. If I were to invite a lady along for a lengthy trip, she obviously would note, there is one stateroom with a non-V berth. That should give her a hint.
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Old 02-12-2017, 14:53   #1228
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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then again, the guys are NOT looking at my head nor the hat I am wearing as much as they are checking out my slim longness, the way i move on deck, the way i love sailboats and tools, my fix-it ideas, my enjoyment when the boat heels, the way i feel about adventure...

i'm fairly certain that the hat idea is not gonna work...
Excuse me !!!!! ..... that is a sexist generalization if I have ever heard one! .... and I doubt it is accurate for the majority! Talk about stereotyping !
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Old 02-12-2017, 14:58   #1229
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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In my experience, the financial disaster is more likely to befall the female partner. And way more disturbingly the children.

And it just really gets my goat, in light of recent social changes, that men want to play this financial victim card. For my entire life they have denigrated women for "playing financial victim" when it comes to wages and other issues. But when it comes to supporting their children or compensating the wife that gave up her career opportunities it's suddenly financial ruin for you? HUH?

It is overwhelmingly the male partner for obvious reasons that gets assigned the check writing duty.

That is not a card. That is how it is.

I'm not taking sides or validating positions. I am pointng out why some men consider alternatives to traditional relationships especially given the 50% approx failure rate.
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Old 02-12-2017, 15:43   #1230
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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It is overwhelmingly the male partner for obvious reasons that gets assigned the check writing duty.

That is not a card. That is how it is.

I'm not taking sides. I am pointng out why some men consider alternatives to traditional relationships.
Depends on what state you live and how much that check entails. But broadly in the US, women and children after divorce or separation of biological parents,are left less well off than their now single husbands/fathers.

If you want pity, or excuses for abandoning responsibilities to your offspring, OK. The checks being written in most instances don't cover nearly half the expense of housing, feeding, clothing, insuring medically, extracurricular activities, education, or any number of things. In my state there is a simple formula based on your gross income. That formula doesn't take into account many expenses. Divorce and separation almost always leave the custodial parent the larger financial burden. Male or female. I disagree the men are financial victims of their own life choices.

As to alternatives to traditional relationships? I believe women are exercising that option as well. i support that. If a persons personal lifestyle does no harm to me personally, physically, or financially I consider it none of my business, live and let live.
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