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Old 17-11-2017, 15:58   #1141
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

We can lament about missing the good old days where "ignorance is bliss" and we simply enjoyed our sexual adventures without too much worry or angst.

But the truth is, we are much more knowledgeable these days and as Zee puts really well,...those with the old curmudgeon mindset are becoming dinosaurs and strong women , who are by definition , the best partners, have no need for them and just laugh!

So while I never crossed that line into sexual harrasment, as a young horny man, my attitudes were based on ignorance and sexual awakenings.

In those days and thru out history, most women and our education system, remained mostly silent as to what a woman really needed from a man, so those misogynistic attitudes were reinforced.

So back to my original question

Socially, all sexes are having an awakening.....

Instead of digging up the ugly past of male domination, is it not better to forgive and move the conversation towards society teaching not just Sex Education, but Relationship Education?
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Old 17-11-2017, 16:29   #1142
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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We can lament about missing the good old days where "ignorance is bliss" and we simply enjoyed our sexual adventures without too much worry or angst.

But the truth is, we are much more knowledgeable these days and as Zee puts really well,...those with the old curmudgeon mindset are becoming dinosaurs and strong women , who are by definition , the best partners, have no need for them and just laugh!

So while I never crossed that line into sexual harrasment, as a young horny man, my attitudes were based on ignorance and sexual awakenings.

In those days and thru out history, most women and our education system, remained mostly silent as to what a woman really needed from a man, so those misogynistic attitudes were reinforced.

So back to my original question

Socially, all sexes are having an awakening.....

Instead of digging up the ugly past of male domination, is it not better to forgive and move the conversation towards society teaching not just Sex Education, but Relationship Education?
Wifey B: My hubby might have been horny but I was the aggressor.

You mention relationship education and I'd expand on that. We need to teach basic life skills. They're supposed to be taught by parents, but too often they aren't. Some learn them in churches but most don't. There are some high schools teaching such classes and teaching far more than sex in sex education. They're teaching respect and treatment of others. However, those lessons also need reinforcement by all of us and society as a whole.

There are behaviors which need to be treated as scandalous but not just for the rich and famous. Hollywood needs a massive cleanup and reinvention and it's not just the man who need to take an active role in that. Women stood by and did nothing or less than they perhaps should have.

We need to condemn and penalize those who have been gross violators of human decency and harassment laws and are guilty of crimes such as rape. However, you're right, we need to take a new approach and every one of us take a stand that this will not happen in our lives or around us and if certain things do happen there will be immediate repercussions.

We also need leaders exemplifying human good and decency and proper treatment of others. We need positive examples from parents, from business persons, from our elected leaders. We need those who really believe in respect and right and do it because it's from their heart and their makeup, not false leaders trying to protect fan support like Roger Goodell. We need efforts not for headlines but for justice.
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Old 17-11-2017, 16:33   #1143
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Instead of digging up the ugly past of male domination, is it not better to forgive and move the conversation towards society teaching not just Sex Education, but Relationship Education?
Good advice, but the media wont accept your advice. It's a fight for viewer and selling commercials.

My signature speaks truth. Now I usually watch the first 5 mins of news then .... sign on here.
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Old 17-11-2017, 16:34   #1144
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

Amen WifeyB.....and lucky hubby!
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Old 17-11-2017, 16:39   #1145
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Amen WifeyB.....and lucky hubby!
Someone tell me where all these horny sexy women teacher were hiding, when I was growing up.

NO, I don't need to hear, "They weren't born yet."
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Old 17-11-2017, 16:44   #1146
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Someone tell me where all these horny sexy women teacher were hiding, when I was growing up.

NO, I don't need to hear, "They weren't born yet."
They were the quiet socially awkward types who sat at the back of the class, had two part time jobs, yet always beat you at math......
Thankyou Mary for choosing me for your awakening!
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Old 17-11-2017, 16:54   #1147
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

Just found the solution to all our social problems

https://youtu.be/RGvrmltfMrA
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Old 17-11-2017, 17:33   #1148
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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They were the quiet socially awkward types who sat at the back of the class, had two part time jobs, yet always beat you at math......
Thankyou Mary for choosing me for your awakening!
Ah ha, so you were dating Crazy Mary too?
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Old 17-11-2017, 17:35   #1149
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

No....sweet Dutch angelic Mary , who was far too mature for me at the time
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Old 17-11-2017, 18:03   #1150
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Someone tell me where all these horny sexy women teacher were hiding, when I was growing up.

NO, I don't need to hear, "They weren't born yet."
Wifey B: Don't ask questions you don't want to hear the answer to.
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Old 17-11-2017, 18:23   #1151
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Wifey B: Don't ask questions you don't want to hear the answer to.
But, I would have kept a secret, repeatedly.
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Old 17-11-2017, 18:35   #1152
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Socially, all sexes are having an awakening.....

Instead of digging up the ugly past of male domination, is it not better to forgive and move the conversation towards society teaching not just Sex Education, but Relationship Education?
It would be a great idea! But depending on where you live and raise your children is the difference in the factual education they receive. I had better education (sexual and relationship) than my children did! 25 years later! I had to read what was being taught and supplement for the short comings at home. (I had raised them in a different state than I grew up, south of where I was raised) Not all parents are comfortable with that. Not all parents even realized there were short comings because they themselves were kept ignorant through the public system. Sometime if people don't seek education they are left to ignorance. We (US citizens) are only as informed as our state legislatures allow. I taught both my daughters and son the consequences of their choices. Physical and emotional. Most families won't even discuss such topics.
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Old 17-11-2017, 20:02   #1153
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

Yes I lived with a Dutch family, and they had their 13-year-old daughter on birth control, long before she was seriously active.

Two years later they were welcoming her boyfriend over for sleepovers, and joked about the moaning and banging noises all night.

A neighbor family let their transgender kid transition starting at 12, full physical reassignment surgery at 15. Fully paid for by the public medical system, they just had to cover some optional aesthetics work. . .

So much healthier a society, at least in that way.
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Old 17-11-2017, 20:10   #1154
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Wifey B: It may not sound romantic but then neither are unwanted babies or feelings afterward that one party coerced the other, so there has been encouragement recently to have both parties sign that the sex was of mutual consent and in no way coerced. I know managers encouraging athletes to get that done.

Then there is alcohol or drugs. By rule of law one under the influence of either cannot consent. It has long been a dating practice to loosen one's resistance by getting them drunk. That's something that needs reinforcing as just being both legally and morally wrong. I also think that if as a man you must get a girl drunk for her to "put out" then what a poor excuse of a man you are.

On the other side, just as men tend to use power and control to get sex, women, including young girls, must stop using sex to get what they want. One of the cases I read last night was 16 year old got an invitation by manager to the room of the star. She went and although he was much older, she had no problem and still has no issue with having sex with the star, saying that's what she wanted. However, she objects now to the fact the manager returned to the room and they had a three way, even though she went along with it at the time. Well, the crime in that case was that she was 16 in a state with a legal age of 18. The reports are that 16 year old's aren't mature enough to make those decisions. I don't know, but my advice to any guys contemplating young girls would be that the law has always said you're responsible even if she lies. You better check her id and you better make sure it's legit and if smart you'll take a picture of it using your phone.

Guys need to learn three things. One, not to take advantage. Two, to exercise caution. Three, that no in any way at any time means no. There's a somewhat common situation in business environments. It starts with a consensual sexual relationship between co-workers. Then one decides to end it. That's a strong no and any attempt after that or any retaliation then is harassment and cause for both termination and legal action.

Girls need to learn to not make poor decisions that put themselves at risk and even then to say no, to have the courage to do so, and to say it in such a way that there can be no misunderstanding. A well placed knee can be very effective if the word isn't. Obviously if it's physically forced rather than coerced, then that wouldn't be the tactic, but with most situations it would be. If anything happens then you report it to anyone and everyone.

One thing I anticipate happening is much like you have personal injury lawyers actively building practices, you're going to see a cottage industry of sexual harassment lawyers and I think that's good. The person in power needs to know that the victim will not take it and will respond and that they feel empowered to do so as society stops blaming the victim.

We also need to distinguish between womanizers and serial abusers. A man has sex with lots of women including the numbers reported by Wilt Chamberlain and Ric Flair, that's disgusting but not criminal. A man uses physical or job power to have sex with one woman, that's criminal.
Just reading this exhausts me. When the absolute natural basics of life get this hard and complicated, I'd rather just go without!!
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Old 18-11-2017, 12:11   #1155
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

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Just reading this exhausts me. When the absolute natural basics of life get this hard and complicated, I'd rather just go without!!
I'd say the lines are pretty clear & bright without the need for formal education & lawyers.

Take the Harvey W. scenario. To the extent he used coercion & force, he needs to do some significant jail time, assuming the allegations can be proved. But given how well known his rep apparently was, then to the extent aspiring actresses found themselves alone with him voluntarily and agreed to have sex with him, then they little basis to cry foul after-the-fact. One has to wonder how many now famous, wealthy Hollywood actresses had their big "break" after being willingly "interviewed" by ol' perverted Harv in his hotel room.

I also find it an interesting insight into human nature that so often it's the outwardly pious, holier-than-thou people who often wind up being the most abusive, whether towards women in a sexual manner or just those closest to them regardless of sex. Whether it's the fire-and-brimstone conservative preacher/judge being accused of sex with underage girls, or one of the more obnoxious 'virtue signalers' in the US Senate who allegedly forced himself on a woman (also reportedly nasty to his staff/subordinates), the ones who are so outwardly convinced of their own righteousness & superiority are often the same ones with an abusive personality. Maybe it's some weird human manifestation of guilt for past sins??
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