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28-10-2017, 15:16
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#976
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CF Adviser
Join Date: Oct 2007
Boat: Van Helleman Schooner 65ft StarGazer
Posts: 10,280
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carat
I concur. Well said, barnakiel.
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I do not agree with barnakiel
Sexual generalities derived from simplistic 'Cause and Effect ' theories, leading to Cynical conclusions.
There are certain feelings that cannot be measured, that reside inside a person often ......unknown to the host, but will well up into their conscience as a "kneaded feeling".
(Gadagirl example of why the guy stays with a psychotic girl).
The Greeks had 8 names for different types of Love.
Who are we to criticise the journeys some go thru to find it?
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28-10-2017, 15:50
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#977
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Virginia
Posts: 958
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pelagic
I do not agree with barnakiel
Sexual generalities derived from simplistic 'Cause and Effect ' theories, leading to Cynical conclusions.
There are certain feelings that cannot be measured, that reside inside a person often ......unknown to the host, but will well up into their conscience as a "kneaded feeling".
(Gadagirl example of why the guy stays with a psychotic girl).
The Greeks had 8 names for different types of Love.
Who are we to criticise the journeys some go thru to find it?
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What?!!!! I certainly was not justifying staying in a an unhealthy relationship with a "psychotic" partner, male or female!
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28-10-2017, 15:58
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#978
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CF Adviser
Join Date: Oct 2007
Boat: Van Helleman Schooner 65ft StarGazer
Posts: 10,280
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
No one was "justifying", simply offering a possible explanation
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28-10-2017, 16:03
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#979
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: between the devil and the deep blue sea
Boat: a sailing boat
Posts: 20,420
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pelagic
(...)
The Greeks had 8 names for different types of Love.
(...)
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This many?
I did know they had separate words for separate meanings of (English word) love but I did not know they were 8 actually. I was only aware of the four as represented by their deities. Agape, Eros, Philia, Storge.
What are the other four? You do not mean Greek love, do you?
Cheers,
b.
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28-10-2017, 16:06
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#980
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Virginia
Posts: 958
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jillf
While I'm quite CERTAIN that you are VERY, VERY manly, you are very, very wrong.
Security (financial, physical, psychological, or whatever) is achieved through planning and risk mitigation and while not exclusively masculine, I would not consider those traditional feminine pursuits. I certainly would not set sail on a boat with a captain (male or female) that did not take the security of his or her vessel VERY, VERY seriously.
And trust? Trust is the bedrock of any successful relationship (romantic, work, or friendship).
Now at least I know what the popcorn was for.
Guess I'll grab some too.
Love you more.
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28-10-2017, 16:16
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#981
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Virginia
Posts: 958
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pelagic
No one was "justifying", simply offering a possible explanation
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Ok, only I thought I was offering an explanation to not stay with a psychotic. But can understand your point, that deep seated, subconscious desires may cause a person to be attracted to a certain "other". I just don't think I'd always categorize that "other" as psychotic. Only sometimes that's the case.
And hows come in your example it's the woman that's psychotic?
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28-10-2017, 16:20
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#982
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Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: aboard, cruising in Australia
Boat: Sayer 46' Solent rig sloop
Posts: 28,438
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
Chichi, et al,
We knew two singlehanders, a man and a woman. Each owned a vessel of their choice, fitted out as each liked. They discovered they enjoyed each other's company, and the observers in the fleet observed with interest.
One season, then the next, and then the third, each sailed the vessel to the same destination, and when they arrived, they went to potlucks and did activities as a couple.
The fourth season, each sold their own boat, and they bought a boat together, all according to their own negotiation and conversation, and problem solving skills. As far as I know, they are sailing, still. This occurred in the 1990's.
I wrote earlier in this thread that if you want a committed partner, pursue your own interests, and just be open to the possibility. You will either meet them or you won't, it is up to the Fates. But the bottom line is that you will be pleasing yourself along the way, being true to your inner self is the healthiest thing you can do.
Ann
__________________
Who scorns the calm has forgotten the storm.
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28-10-2017, 16:34
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#983
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: between the devil and the deep blue sea
Boat: a sailing boat
Posts: 20,420
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jillf
(...)
Security (financial, physical, psychological, or whatever) is achieved through planning and risk mitigation and while not exclusively masculine, I would not consider those traditional feminine pursuits. I certainly would not set sail on a boat with a captain (male or female) that did not take the security of his or her vessel VERY, VERY seriously.
And trust? Trust is the bedrock of any successful relationship (romantic, work, or friendship).
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Oh, my. ;-)
I am convinced I must love you more than you could ever love me. I just do not know which of the 8 words apply here! Just think of this: I am called Mr. Love on my pontoon (I must admit though, this is the shortest pontoon in this marina - and only my boat is docked at it. ;-)
Anyways, here is my view:
There is very little security in chasing a saber-toothed cat. Let alone in being chased by one. Ergo men were not wired for security. Men were wired for taking risks. Off course, those who were wired for taking too much risk used to get eliminated in the process. But no longer so today.
And trust may be the bedrock of your relationships. There are many relationships though, and some will be bedrocked on different values. Say honesty, passion, shared mortgage, to name just few.
So I am 100% with you in that my dramaticized vision of human cruising relationships was neither complete nor exclusive. Just PLS keep in mind that I was warned by the admins that my future posts that exceed 1000 words (which also happens to be the limit in 'creative writing for old maids' competition, at OMForum!) will be moved on to the 'irrelevant essays of one barnakiel' (a.k.a. CF limbo).
I wish I could say more with fewer words. It is a process. ;-)
Eternal love, flowers and respect,
barnakiel
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28-10-2017, 16:47
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#984
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: between the devil and the deep blue sea
Boat: a sailing boat
Posts: 20,420
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gadagirl
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Especially the 'manly' part ... ;-)))))))
Hugs,
b.
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28-10-2017, 16:52
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#985
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Virginia
Posts: 958
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
Quote:
Originally Posted by barnakiel
Ergo men were not wired for security. Men were wired for taking risks. Off course, those who were wired for taking too much risk used to get eliminated in the process. But no longer so today.
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I would offer the view that men took/take risks in the pursuit of providing security and sustenance. They fought the tiger to protect or provide food. Today we all fight tigers sometimes, men and women. Some for protection and food, few for merely sport, because simply, we all need food and a safe place to sleep.
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28-10-2017, 16:54
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#986
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Oriental, NC
Boat: 1974 Cal 2-46
Posts: 15
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
Quote:
Originally Posted by barnakiel
Oh, my. ;-)
I am convinced I must love you more than you could ever love me. I just do not know which of the 8 words apply here! Just think of this: I am called Mr. Love on my pontoon (I must admit though, this is the shortest pontoon in this marina - and only my boat is docked at it. ;-)
Anyways, here is my view:
There is very little security in chasing a saber-toothed cat. Let alone in being chased by one. Ergo men were not wired for security. Men were wired for taking risks. Off course, those who were wired for taking too much risk used to get eliminated in the process. But no longer so today.
And trust may be the bedrock of your relationships. There are many relationships though, and some will be bedrocked on different values. Say honesty, passion, shared mortgage, to name just few.
So I am 100% with you in that my dramaticized vision of human cruising relationships was neither complete nor exclusive. Just PLS keep in mind that I was warned by the admins that my future posts that exceed 1000 words (which also happens to be the limit in 'creative writing for old maids' competition, at OMForum!) will be moved on to the 'irrelevant essays of one barnakiel' (a.k.a. CF limbo).
I wish I could say more with fewer words. It is a process. ;-)
Eternal love, flowers and respect,
barnakiel
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Mr Love!!! Of course! Why am I not surprised??!!!
However, it's not just my relationships. Trust vs. mistrust is widely considered to be the very 1st stage of psychosocial development.
Hope that helps.
XXXOOO
Bless your VERY MANLY but nonsensical little heart.
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28-10-2017, 16:56
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#987
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Aventura, FL
Boat: 2008 American Tug 34 #116
Posts: 657
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dwedeking2
Awesome! Reading this thread I thought I would only be married once. Now I know I'm a prime candidate for another go! [emoji13] lol
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Naaw, spend your money on booze and a larger boat.
__________________
And you folks thought I knew what I was talking about.
I do believe my intuitive gene has died.
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28-10-2017, 16:59
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#988
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CF Adviser
Join Date: Oct 2007
Boat: Van Helleman Schooner 65ft StarGazer
Posts: 10,280
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gadagirl
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LoL Gadagirl......
I think that was your example of a relationship which I used.
No shortage of male psychotics.
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28-10-2017, 17:02
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#989
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Virginia
Posts: 958
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
Quote:
Originally Posted by barnakiel
Especially the 'manly' part ... ;-)))))))
Hugs,
b.
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Nahh! It was the the trust and the popcorn! Popcorn is agreeable to many. I think trust is a universal value.
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28-10-2017, 17:05
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#990
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Aventura, FL
Boat: 2008 American Tug 34 #116
Posts: 657
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Re: Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.
Just an opinion. Somedays it is my opinion, other days, not.
Marriage was 'developed' for the protection of the offspring and the orderly transfer of assets upon the death of one spouse.
Of course if a divorce is involved, all bets are off.
__________________
And you folks thought I knew what I was talking about.
I do believe my intuitive gene has died.
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