Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

[goat]

Originally Posted by lancelot9898

Anybody else here on Match.com?

I signed up for 'Plenty of fish'. Did you know it's got nothing to do with fishing? Sigh..... very disappointing.

Collage courses are a great way to meet women, if you like art chicks.
Lucky for me I dig hairy legs on the ladies.

Sorry trying to swing the rudder over, back to single guys living aboard. Slavery? How'd we get there?

goat

[BandB]

Originally Posted by redhead

This all reminds me of the old story.

Two people are sitting on a hillside looking at the town down in the valley.

The first says "That town looks mean. If I go in I'd better be on guard so I don't get robbed or bashed over the head. I don't really like the look of that town but I want to go try it".

The second says "Really? I can't see that. Look at the architecture, and that restaurant looks nice and there's just a really good atmosphere - I think I'll like it".

And they both went into town. And they both were right.
In my experience you pretty much get what you're looking for.

Chichi's post was very thoughtful and downright lyrical. There's women out there who want the sailing life, who aren't gold diggers and have better personalities than a dog. I don't care for political correctness, but that one was a bit tough to swallow. I know if I was the woman some of you are describing, my husband would be outta here. If you don't like each other and the same top 5 things, what's the point? I'd rather be (sailing) alone than with someone I had nothing in common with.

Wifey B: The problem is that the first guy often doesn't see he's the problem. You start thinking the way Lepke does toward women and you might as well give up, actually should give up because it's not going to work. Maybe.....try switch hitting or something. Couldn't resist.

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by zeehag

any reverse -ism is a mirror image of the original ism. is exactly same thing only from opposing and guilty points of view from same angle.
\reverse sexism is sexism. reverse discrimination is discrimination. no difference whatsoever.
the facts are that humanity is a misogynist species. curmudgeonly and misogynist.
both genders equally and exactly, races as well..all same. we all bleed red so why pretend we donot. one has a dongle one has a usb port. somehow the two meet and make it work. or not.
the success is dependent on attitude of each and both equally.
as no one is perfect, how can perfection be sought.
and i believe druids did better than the subsequent and current non matriarchical systems. danes were also matriarchical. or so my danish grandmother repeatedly stated.
isnt danmark supposedly called the happy nation???

as past is totally past, why should a race be required to pay reparations to another race despite nonparticipation in alleged events. talk about discrimination and oppression.. fuggedaboudid and reboot. make sure you treat others as you would treat yourself or your mother.

Right on Zee

https://youtu.be/0_VfGVKzcfs

[JPA Cate]

If you're a single sailor seeking a soul mate, read on. Others won't like what i have to say.

1. Heal yourself from the injuries done to you by the other gender. Get to where they are forgiven. If you can't or don't want to get to that point, just pursue your own goals alone. This is a reasonable option, especially for those who have been too badly wounded to forgive.

2. Pursue your own goals while bearing in mind that you are ready to meet your soul mate, and get really clear about what qualities and attributes that person has. You are hoping to attract that one into your space.

3. Pursue your own goals. This is necessary because I want you to be happy/content, whether or not you find each other. Sometimes, I think it was not meant to be--for whatever reason.

But following your heart's desire and staying open is the best way I know of to find that special person.

Ann

[model 10]

Originally Posted by JPA Cate

If you're a single sailor seeking a soul mate, read on. Others won't like what i have to say.

1. Heal yourself from the injuries done to you by the other gender. Get to where they are forgiven. If you can't or don't want to get to that point, just pursue your own goals alone. This is a reasonable option, especially for those who have been too badly wounded to forgive.

2. Pursue your own goals while bearing in mind that you are ready to meet your soul mate, and get really clear about what qualities and attributes that person has. You are hoping to attract that one into your space.

3. Pursue your own goals. This is necessary because I want you to be happy/content, whether or not you find each other. Sometimes, I think it was not meant to be--for whatever reason.



But following your heart's desire and staying open is the best way I know of to find that special person.

Ann

Hey, free advice! Ann would probably get $200 hr if she wasn't a social worker.

[dwedeking2]

I think you guys (generic not gender specific so the PC police don't SWAT me) over complicate it. People that sail around the world are a minority. The personality type that will sail around the world alone are a minority of that minority. Simple marketing, if you want to make a sale (find a match) make yourself more mainstream. Its a simple numbers game. If you want to find a match in an extremely small pool of people then accept it may not happen. Not right or wrong just math.

If you make yourself unbuyable (filled with anger and mistrust) it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

[JPA Cate]

Just my opinion, but it isn't ONLY math, although that is part of it. Real sailing women are not plentiful as landlubbers.

But, imo, through facing up to your own part in a dissolution of a relationship, teaches you a little compassion. It teaches you that you are not as perfect as you might like to think of yourself. It helps you to a place where instead of blaming a whole gender for betraying you, you can see good and not too good in people of both genders pretty much equally.

And, that prepares you to seek a "real" partner whom you can love and be loved by. As suggested above, perhaps the distribution is so limited that it is a big desire to fulfill, and it may not happen for you, but it IS the only way I know of to prepare to meet that partner.

Ann

[Exile]

Originally Posted by goat

Slavery? How'd we get there?

As a direct result of this apparently aggrieved poster who has taken refuge in his anonymous safe space here on the internet. I honestly had to do a double-take on this one, thinking at first that it had to be another one of Third Day's ever-so-entertaining servings of sarcasm. Is this comment for real? Or maybe I should ask, is this poster for real?

Originally Posted by john61ct

Benefits given to oppressed categories of people don't even begin to right the wrongs inflicted on them daily over their whole lives.

A lifetime grant of $20k per year to every black person in the US would barely be a start compensating for slavery and all the jim crow bs they have to put up with right up to today.

Of course spaces excluding whites, males, the wealthy, cis-gendered, the able-bodied etc are healthy and just, oppressed minorities need places free of the constant micro-aggressions we constantly and subconsciously inflict.

I'm so sick of special snowflake privileged white cis men whining about being discriminated against.

And that's all I'm going to say about that

Have you considered that, in the 21st century anyway, a better way to eliminate arbitrary & harmful distinctions based on peoples' immutable characteristics such as race & gender might just be to stop highlighting peoples' immutable characteristics such as race & gender? As I recall, wasn't color-blindness the goal? You know, not to be judged on color of skin but content of character? Now who said that??

Or should we also try & compensate Chinese-Americans for their exclusion from society in the late 19th century and their de facto enslavement building railroads? Funny how well they've done despite all their historical oppression, although it now appears to be happening again when they are rejected from prestigious universities to allow room for the less qualified. Is that what you mean by "affirmative action?"

Or how about the first predominantly white nation in the world to elect a black head of state . . . twice. I know, must have been only blacks & white women who carried the vote on that one . . . twice. Also a black Secy of State & Supreme Court justice. Oops sorry, those two don't count, wrong political party.

How about we consider Jews? Not only enslaved, persecuted, pogromed, oppressed, forcibly converted throughout almost all of recorded history, but almost every single one who resided on the European continent -- 6M I hear -- gassed, shot, tortured, and otherwise destroyed along with their possessions, religion & culture by 1945. Funny, but I don't think they or their progeny ever demanded $20K/year in compensation from their fellow citizens, and I never read stories of them harassing innocent German as "payback" after WW2. But then there's not enough time for those sorts of indulgences when you're busy leading productive, successful lives. You know, giving back to your community & country and silly stuff like that.

Have you studied any history? Are you aware of human events beyond what is "taught" in safe spaces? Have you shared your thoughts with a health care professional? If not, then I'd suggest your only remedy might be to find an extremely UNsafe space, and immediately start spending as much time there as possible. It's either that or more mind-numbing, clueless stereotyping about the "toxins" emitted from white males, the inherent superiority of women, or the "micro-aggressions" you obviously feel from all the "oppression" that surrounds you. Or would you prefer I list add'l examples of actual, documented oppression as opposed to the ones you "feel."

Please tell me you're just posting stuff like this for comic relief, right??

[daletournier]

Hi Ann, I find it interesting that when a man has opinions regarding subjects like this "he needs to heal himself or he is broken in someway".

Because his views differ from the norm or don't fit into the correct box doesn't always mean he his "burnt, tainted or broken". Eg. I believe the old institution of marriage in our modern world is a horrific failure as a whole, very little else we do fails at such a rate, statistics and anecdotal evidence suggests this to be true, in fact the whole relationship model needs a good overhaul, but I believe we aren't mature enough to address this, does this mean I need healing?

So, do my views and opinions mean I'm broken and need fixing? I don't feel anymore broken than anyone else, I'm certainly not angry, I just question the way we do things, as I want to lead the best life possible.

I've had a number women on board that have been "spiritual" when I question or try to apply some logic to some of the irrational beliefs or explain why I don't see it that way once again I'm broken or are spiritualy bankrupt or whatever!

People can challenge traditional norms or popular beliefs and be quite healthy.

[Alberg30Shill]

Originally Posted by Lost Horizons

To stay out of jail?

Nice child rape joke douchbag.

[SV THIRD DAY]

Originally Posted by Exile

As a direct result of this apparently aggrieved poster who has taken refuge in his anonymous safe space here on the internet. I honestly had to do a double-take on this one, thinking at first that it had to be another one of Third Day's ever-so-entertaining servings of sarcasm. Is this comment for real? Or maybe I should ask, is this poster for real?



Have you considered that, in the 21st century anyway, a better way to eliminate arbitrary & harmful distinctions based on peoples' immutable characteristics such as race & gender might just be to stop highlighting peoples' immutable characteristics such as race & gender? As I recall, wasn't color-blindness the goal? You know, not to be judged on color of skin but content of character? Now who said that??

Or should we also try & compensate Chinese-Americans for their exclusion from society in the late 19th century and their de facto enslavement building railroads? Funny how well they've done despite all their historical oppression, although it now appears to be happening again when they are rejected from prestigious universities to allow room for the less qualified. Is that what you mean by "affirmative action?"

Or how about the first predominantly white nation in the world to elect a black head of state . . . twice. I know, must have been only blacks & white women who carried the vote on that one . . . twice. Also a black Secy of State & Supreme Court justice. Oops sorry, those two don't count, wrong political party.

How about we consider Jews? Not only enslaved, persecuted, pogromed, oppressed, forcibly converted throughout almost all of recorded history, but almost every single one who resided on the European continent -- 6M I hear -- gassed, shot, tortured, and otherwise destroyed along with their possessions, religion & culture by 1945. Funny, but I don't think they or their progeny ever demanded $20K/year in compensation from their fellow citizens, and I never read stories of them harassing innocent German as "payback" after WW2. But then there's not enough time for those sorts of indulgences when you're busy leading productive, successful lives. You know, giving back to your community & country and silly stuff like that.

Have you studied any history? Are you aware of human events beyond what is "taught" in safe spaces? Have you shared your thoughts with a health care professional? If not, then I'd suggest your only remedy might be to find an extremely UNsafe space, and immediately start spending as much time there as possible. It's either that or more mind-numbing, clueless stereotyping about the "toxins" emitted from white males, the inherent superiority of women, or the "micro-aggressions" you obviously feel from all the "oppression" that surrounds you. Or would you prefer I list add'l examples of actual, documented oppression as opposed to the ones you "feel."

Please tell me you're just posting stuff like this for comic relief, right??

oh no bro....its real....better than I could even make up as a EIB parody skit.

[Exile]

Originally Posted by SV THIRD DAY

oh no bro....its real....better than I could even make up as a EIB parody skit.

Dunno 'bout that, you've got talent!

Back to the thread topic (whatever it is), maybe some of the problems that have been described are exactly because we're supposed to be looking for our "soul mates." This seems to be a rather modern -- or do I dare say "new age" concept -- perhaps coincident with the unwavering 50% rate of divorce? Leaving aside the fact that many if not most probably don't know what this means (I don't), maybe it leads to unrealistic or even unattainable expectations? Or as was recently pointed out, results in one or the other person working too hard or sacrificing too much to try & please a partner or spouse who was "meant to be" or some other such mantra we're taught to believe. Maybe we're better off without our "souls" having anything to say in finding a mate?

[goat]

Thanks Ann.

[double u]

...any male lament about women, particularly their "availability", or lack of..., only highlights the "guilty" party....
hereabouts the "I-have-to-pay-all-this-alimony-&-she's-bleeding-me-dry-despite-my-total-innocence"-whine is popular (& often entertaining to me)

[Lost Horizons]

Originally Posted by zeehag

never date a male with a smaller boat than yours. it ALWAYS is an issue even when he swears it is not... h ah aha ha ha

By the same token, never date a female with an older boat than yours.