Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

[CatNewBee]

I would not agree to that. It is sheer dumb luck to find the right person in the first place and daily hard work to keep her happy over the years, but it's woth it.

[daletournier]

Originally Posted by TigerPaws

Keeping with the nautical theme and fulltime liveaboard crusing, I have met a few Ladies who enjoy the lifestyle but they are few and far between. To be brutally honest most of the women in their early 40's and on have not taken care of themselves, excessive drinking, poor lifestyle choices, many are running away from their problems/issues and I will not even talk to a Lady that smokes or is overweight.

Those are my choices YMMV but this is my boat and I pay for everything, so it is my way or she is welcome to leave. Now before I am jumped upon for this when I say that I pay for everything I do just that, when a Lady joins me aboard SeaQuest OE I pay for food, clothing, dinner out, drinks and when she wants to go I purchase her an airline ticket to any major airport. I expect very little from a Lady, no more than I would expect from any guest aboard my vessel.

Hi Tigerpaws, your comment about "you expect very little" rings true for me as well. I think this is a problem for some of us. A natural inequality develops due to our needs being minimal and often our lady friends needs being substantially more. It creates a unintentional power imbalance. In my case having the money puts me in a position of unintentional power , and disimpowers the person you provide for.

Like you, my boat my rules. I'm very clear about the lines, I've referred to my money etc as ours before in a previous marriage, and of course during the divorce she believed it was ours. I'm careful in this area now, or just honest about it, I say it how it actually is, not how a partner would like it to be.

The unfortunate side of this is resentment builds easily when someone is reliant on another for finances.

If I was to have another partner in the future she must have her own money. This isn't so I can get my hands on it, it's so she feels equally empowered, not indebted.

I believe alot of women seek a provider, particularly in the age bracket you spoke about, I don't judge it right or wrong, I see it as societal conditioning going back a very long way. Of course this will be aggressively denied.

[Blue Crab]

Originally Posted by Carat

This thread keeps showing up on my email...too funny. So, I'll chime in again.

Sad to hear women take off in search of a better life on land or with someone else who, in their mind, can provide financial security and material wealth. The grass is never greener on the other side. Theyll be back only to continue the circle of forever never satisfied.

I envy the women who share their lives with the men they have simialr interests with, hence living aboard and traveling the oceans. My chances are slim as far as snagging a man seeking a young hot woman who wants to travel the world. I'm not young and I have dreads....that's two strikes already. Lol.

Kinda gotta wonder about yer screen handle. Could be that (called) third strike.

There are plenty of old guys on nice boats that could still be sailing if they had a crewperson. Many wish they had hair at all. They won't be the guys with the blue blazers, likely don't drink much, so maybe found just at happy hours in public, and are likely on a blicycle. Buy a bike and don't wear makeup or shoes. In fact, if you own a lot of shoes, you're probably not real good boating material in the first place, esp if not young or hot which are both quite fleeting anyway.

Good luck.

[eltha12]

From the female side of things, it's annoying to meet these 39% of divorced sailors who seem to look for 'the' perfect cruising bride that meets all needs of galley help, bunk service, boat and watch slave, laundry and shopping maid and best to shut up plus looks like a bikini girl. And which younger girl really wants a guy that is older, secretly looking at other bikini girls all the time or even drinks the world pretty and courageous? At least they should still have their own teeth.

It really seems like your life clock time is slipping away and you would rather identify yourself with some young chick by your side than a real boat/life partner of value and it sounds like you have a priority in sexual satisfaction rather than cruising satisfaction.

I would give the boat away cheap to someone younger who would appreciate fixing it up and cruises the seas as a chance and otherwise just charter boats at your leisure and can tour around visiting all those hotties and women around the U.S. and Asia and bring your Porsche or somethin' convertible or a fast boat or rocket to take them for a drive into the sunset.....

Best to just do whatever you really like best. Life's too short not to.

good luck.

[SV THIRD DAY]

Originally Posted by eltha12

From the female side of things, it's annoying to meet these 39% of divorced sailors who seem to look for 'the' perfect cruising bride that meets all needs of galley help, bunk service, boat and watch slave, laundry and shopping maid and best to shut up plus look like a bikini girl. And which younger girl really want a guy that is older looking at other bikini girls all the time or is even drinks?

It really seems like your life is slipping away and you would identify yourself with some young chick by your side, not a real boat/life partner of value and it sounds like you still need as a priority sexual satisfaction rather than cruising satisfaction..

A lament as old as time itself.....

Ecclesiastes 1
9: The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.

10: Is there any thing whereof it may be said, See, this is new? it hath been already of old time, which was before us.

[sealily]

Im kinda in the opposite camp. I.e a single woman living on her own yacht and finding it hard to find the right man! My boat is not a 'project' - it goes - but is not flash either and basic in some ways. EG no bathroom. I either meet guys who are very comfortably land based or guys who also have boats (usually 'project' boats!) and spend all their time working on them - towards the dream the inevitably never happens! And i'm left still single-handing mine!

[TigerPaws]

I began living aboard and sailing the Caribbean full time starting in 2007, over the past 11 years I have come across less than a handful of attractive Ladies (I know the word attractive is subjective) living aboard and sailing singlehanded.

They are a very rare breed.

Now I come across many Ladies in every port who have jumped ship and are looking for a one way trip to somewhere, sometimes they do not know where. Occasionally I will accomidate them if I am in the mood or if I am going in that general direction. Sometimes a Lady will decide to stay a bit longer and sail on with me for several months.

Such is the life of a sea going vagabond.

One thing I have never been tempted to do is to marry and why should I? What is in it for me?

[fuentes]

Then there is the other 61%. I am 77 years old looking for a mate, friend, one and only and have not found one. Not one that is willing to loose site of land and get away from the marina. I have gotten winks and kisses from woman 29-45. There intent is suspect. As we sail (my Son, his wife, and I) the Sea of Cortez, we have run into several men sailing single handed and younger than I. They seem like very nice guys and have not found a mate either. Perhaps we can start a "looking for mate" tread and get things going. I would start one, but I do not know how. Have a nice day.

Rich! I see you are still in La Paz. We will be headed your way starting Sept.

[exMaggieDrum]

This thread is like a bad (or good) penny which keeps popping up in my inbox. I keep reading because it has both some interesting and occasionally funny posts and also some really stoopid (sic) or mean (IMO) posts. In other words, just a slice of life.


Finding a good mate is as hard on a boat as it is on land. For some it is easy since they are easy going, are already wealthy and not too worried about how much others want to steal it from them, or have such a wide range of hobbies that it is easy to find someone who has some things in common.


Boat life (whether in a marina full time or cruising) is a relatively small subset of life in our society (whatever that is) so the matching up of like-minded individuals will always be harder. I have a mate that I discovered years after our hookup loved sailing from her younger days, was more adventurous than I even knew, and is not overly hung up on appearances. We both made some money and managed to blow much of it on boats and restaurants. No one would look at us or our boat and think money-bags. So if either one of us were single we wouldn't be worried about some floozy of either sex coming looking for us to get their claws in to our obvious wealth. I feel bad for those who have to worry about that all the time. Not to say there aren't those looking to profit of of others but fortunately I haven't run into too many of those.



Seems to me that there are lots of excuses why life hasn't been smiling on some of us as much as what they think it should. It also seems to me that the ones who are more okay with what life has given them are the ones who are the most attractive to the others that they might most enjoy spending long times with. Beauty is only skin deep, both for people and for boats. Same for hairstyles. Nothing wrong with dreads. I wouldn't worry about what others think about my mate having dreads so long as they are "good people" who make others smile for being themselves in a pleasant manner. All kinds of "good people" out there. Occasionally they actually join up but it ain't easy.

[Larry Florida]

If one is looking to meet a woman best to look where there is an abundance of women to your liking.

Marketing 101

[Blue Crab]

Originally Posted by Larry Florida

If one is looking to meet a woman best to look where there is an abundance of women to your liking.

Marketing 101

Yeah. There's a bunch of places like that with a sailors choice of sadder but wiser women, hot, 30 to 50, looking for balding, pot bellied oldpharts with a boat. Send 19.95 for location. Call me in the next 15 minutes and I send two locations with just a separate "handling" charge. Call now! Satisfaction, happiness, and a gal who can maybe sew awaits. Call now!<

[fuentes]

Now, now! Do not let these guys get you upset! We are not all this way. Let us not let the negative over power the positive. Do you know how to start a tread for us that are seriously looking for a soulmate? Please do. Have a nice day.

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by eltha12

From the female side of things, it's annoying to meet these 39% of divorced sailors who seem to look for 'the' perfect cruising bride that meets all needs of galley help, bunk service, boat and watch slave, laundry and shopping maid and best to shut up plus looks like a bikini girl. And which younger girl really wants a guy that is older, secretly looking at other bikini girls all the time or even drinks the world pretty and courageous? At least they should still have their own teeth.

It really seems like your life clock time is slipping away and you would rather identify yourself with some young chick by your side than a real boat/life partner of value and it sounds like you have a priority in sexual satisfaction rather than cruising satisfaction.

I would give the boat away cheap to someone younger who would appreciate fixing it up and cruises the seas as a chance and otherwise just charter boats at your leisure and can tour around visiting all those hotties and women around the U.S. and Asia and bring your Porsche or somethin' convertible or a fast boat or rocket to take them for a drive into the sunset.....

Best to just do whatever you really like best. Life's too short not to.

good luck.

LMAO...
Got you outa lurker mode... 9th post in 9 years.. to shy.

[fuentes]

Originally Posted by Blue Crab

Yeah. There's a bunch of places like that with a sailors choice of sadder but wiser women, hot, 30 to 50, looking for balding, pot bellied oldpharts with a boat. Send 19.95 for location. Call me in the next 15 minutes and I send two locations with just a separate "handling" charge. Call now! Satisfaction, happiness, and a gal who can maybe sew awaits. Call now!<

Where is Hurricane Alley? Is that from west to east from cabo to Mexico's east coast?
Perhaps what Larry was referring to, was to expand the search area. I have been sailing the Sea of cortez, but have not met any single woman in the places we have been to. The internet gives us a wider loop!
Maybe I have been using the wrong approach! Find a woman that knows how to sail, hit her over the head, carry her on the boat, and sail away! I think I have been seeing to many classic pirate movies.
This will get me thrown out again!

[Olddan1943]

Originally Posted by fuentes

Where is Hurricane Alley? Is that from west to east from cabo to Mexico's east coast?
Perhaps what Larry was referring to, was to expand the search area. I have been sailing the Sea of cortez, but have not met any single woman in the places we have been to. The internet gives us a wider loop!
Maybe I have been using the wrong approach! Find a woman that knows how to sail, hit her over the head, carry her on the boat, and sail away! I think I have been seeing to many classic pirate movies.
This will get me thrown out again!

Apparently there are worldwide problems:
1. Everyone must be PC
2. A sense of humor has died.

Guess we will both get kicked out.