Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

[weavis]

From Europe we go East...

[gamayun]

Originally Posted by weavis

[daletournier]

Originally Posted by gamayun

Hi TJD (and Jenny)! Thank you for your kind words. It is unfortunate we never met, but if you two are ever back in the area, do let me know. This area spawns such amazingly fun and generous sailors. I will post a link to the tracker in June (we leave on the 23rd). I do -- and don't -- think about the "race" aspects. It's more about the journey and the adventure, but I'm also fairly competitive so I'll probably push things a bit, too. I'm working with a friend to build an arch for the solar panel right now. There is an astonishing number of projects that still needs to get done!

Hi Gamayun, I fitted a Atlantic arch. Light, strong and looks cool. Thought I'd mention it.

[TJ D]

Originally Posted by Exile

I've figured it might be 'mildly' interesting to meet TJ & Jenny. You know, a couple who run a big commercial fishing boat in Alaska, and when they're not doing that sail their tricked out custom 55' sailboat around interesting parts of the world. But truth be told, my real regret thus far is not having met Baxter-the-Dog. Go figure.

Well, thanks. We're not that interesting, really. Poor Baxter's about at the end of the line, I'm afraid. He's 12 and fading pretty fast. But, he's done pretty well for himself, being a rescue mutt and all. We've had a great 10 years with him.

Speaking of fishing, this winter has been absolutely brutal so far up here. There have been 5 MOB's in 2 incidents, some ugly injuries, a pilothouse destroyed by a wave coming through the windows, and it's been damn cold. We're breaking ice off the boat all the time.

I clocked a high gust of 91 knots last night. We're earning our money, that's for sure.

[Exile]

Originally Posted by TJ D

Well, thanks. We're not that interesting, really. Poor Baxter's about at the end of the line, I'm afraid. He's 12 and fading pretty fast. But, he's done pretty well for himself, being a rescue mutt and all. We've had a great 10 years with him.

Speaking of fishing, this winter has been absolutely brutal so far up here. There have been 5 MOB's in 2 incidents, some ugly injuries, a pilothouse destroyed by a wave coming through the windows, and it's been damn cold. We're breaking ice off the boat all the time.

I clocked a high gust of 91 knots last night. We're earning our money, that's for sure.

Awwwww . . . poor Baxter. Only drawback to having a dog is that they don't last nearly as long as we do. Always takes a piece out of me every time one of mine starts to check out.

Have always admired your unusual and interesting lifestyle TJ (and Jenny). Ditto for just about every full-time liveaboard I've encountered, but your professional life makes it that much more intriguing. Of course, easy for me to say . . . I'm not the one having to endure such a harsh Alaskan winter onboard!

[Pelagic]

Heard this song for the first time on my flight to Singapore and thought of how much more emotionally difficult it can be for a single woman to follow her own path, vs a man.

So this is to all our amazing CF female sailors, who fight hard to keep both their dreams and sails full.

https://youtu.be/vdUY0Dn6ITw

[BandB]

Originally Posted by Pelagic

Heard this song for the first time on my flight to Singapore and thought of how much more emotionally difficult it can be for a single woman to follow her own path, vs a man.

Wifey B: One thing that crossed my mind in reading what you wrote. Successful men, successful women, what do they all have in common or need? We hear of self made men as if they did it all by themselves. NO.

We don't do things by ourselves. We have a mentor or partner or someone who believes in us. Maybe more. My hubby had one in business who he and I both adore and admire. In turn he's been that person for many. It was mostly men but some women until he "retired" from the big corporate world and we became small business people. Only problem was small business got large, but he's put women in position of power, mentored them, and watched them become super stars. Opportunity.

With something like sailing, it starts young. However, the picture most parents, teachers and girls had of sailing in their lives just wasn't to cross oceans on their own. They weren't shown that as a possible future path.

My hubby once said to me that if you want to know what a place was really like and the future go ask a group of 10 or 12 year old's where they see themselves when they grow up. In referring to a particular small rural area he said, the young girls would not see themselves as lawyers or doctors, but working in the office like their mom or perhaps teachers or nurses. That's what they were exposed to. Go into a housing project in a large city. Who are the successful people that young people look up to? Athletes and drug dealers in many cases. They're the ones with the money and signs of success. The older kids in their neighborhood aren't going to college, aren't becoming businessmen and executives.

Most of my life I saw myself a particular way. I grew up in poverty. No one in my family even graduated high school, much less college. I never dreamed of success in the world, just surviving on my own. I didn't believe, not until I met my hubby. He was the one who made me believe I could be anything I wanted. He helped me see. I know I could have been a super sales person, made bundles in that field. But I also saw a dream of being an educator. High school dropout could go to college, could get a Masters, could get her Doctorate, could build programs, could teach. It took one person to truly believe in me for me to start believing in myself.

We all need someone to show us, someone to help us find the way. We need to picture ourselves in that role in life we want most. We need to know it's possible. If it's sailing we need to see or know others who are doing what we want. If it's business, we need to be shown it's possible. We need help removing the restraints we all have binding us.

[Exile]

Originally Posted by Pelagic

how much more emotionally difficult it can be for a single woman to follow her own path, vs a man.

Maybe so, but it no longer seems that it's the oft-cited outside societal forces of "privilege" & "oppression" that are imposing such burdens.

Gender gap in college enrollment | Pew Research Center

Women earned majority of doctoral degrees in 2015 for 7th straight year and outnumber men in grad school 135 to 100 - AEI

Male vs. Female Statistics in the Workplace in America | Chron.com

Gender pay gap in U.S. remains, but it’s narrowing | Pew Research Center

[Exile]

Back to women owning, running & cruising on their own boats, I met a 50-something German woman at the boatyard a couple of summers ago who had just completed a circumnavigation with the World ARC on her HR 42. Unlike the preference of some women for mostly female crew, this woman always chose all-male crews as she claimed men were much easier for her to get along with on long passages at sea. I didn't get the impression she could rebuild her engine in the cockpit like Sailorchic, but how many women or men have the skills to do that?? This German female captain was definitely very knowledgeable about all of her boat systems, however, did most of the required work herself, and closely supervised when she opted to hire boatyard techs for certain tasks. In other words, exactly like most of the male and female boatowners I've run across who are experienced long-distance sailors.

Come to think of it, most of the women and men I've run across who are accomplished & capable in their chosen endeavors have no need to advertise it. Perhaps some of these women had a more difficult path to their success on account of their gender, but you wouldn't know that from outward appearances or casual conversation. Nor do I think they would take kindly to any suggestion that their achievements were the result of anything other than their own merit, or that they required "empowerment" along the way to become successful. As Wifey B just pointed out, in today's world being "equal" may be more about a person's own state of mind.

Btw, the female sailor from Germany did mention how, when she first bought her boat it was situated in Greece and she had problems with some of the Greek boatyard guys taking her seriously. As she explained it, it was only a matter of time before they realized how much she already knew about her own boat, and their attitude shifted accordingly. Bias, prejudice, chauvinism stereotyping -- part of human nature unfortunately & will probably always be around. But the best way to surmount it has always been to demonstrate just how foolish someone's preconceptions really are.

[Pelagic]

Interesting points WifeyB and Exile

The "Mentor" thing changed my life when someone quite special, saw something in this poor young Scottish man from a coal mining background
....and invested their time and money into me.
40 years later, we are still so very close.

But that also addresses Exile's post.

Immigrants/Women/people from poor backgrounds have something to prove and if given a chance, will outshine their more "privledged" competitors.

That is always what I notice in people who achieve career success... They are driven to prove something..... but sometimes at the cost of personal success.

To switch to sailing partners

I have a question for our CF ladies about whether they notice a general difference in male/female relational development,
..... based on whether the guy grew up with sisters around the same age, or only brothers?

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by Pelagic

Interesting points WifeyB and Exile

The "Mentor" thing changed my life when someone quite special, saw something in this poor young Scottish man from a coal mining background
....and invested their time and money into me.
40 years later, we are still so very close.

But that also addresses Exile's post.

Immigrants/Women/people from poor backgrounds have something to prove and if given a chance, will outshine their more "privledged" competitors.

That is always what I notice in people who achieve career success... They are driven to prove something..... but sometimes at the cost of personal success.

To switch to sailing partners

I have a question for our CF ladies about whether they notice a general difference in male/female relational development,
..... based on whether the guy grew up with sisters around the same age, or only brothers?

Or a lone sibling..???

[john61ct]

Fun art http://www.elirezkallah.com/inaparalleluniverse/

[gamayun]

Originally Posted by daletournier

Hi Gamayun, I fitted a Atlantic arch. Light, strong and looks cool. Thought I'd mention it.

Was this on your current boat or on Freeform? If it was on the Freedom, can you post a pic? And if you don't mind indulging me further....what size and wattage was your solar panel? I am working with a friend to build the arch. We're using 2" aluminum pipe and will anodize it. I did all the tube bending and cutting -- it was decided early on that I suck at welding, though I hear that takes a bit of practice. We had the arch dry fitted recently and the holes for the footings had even been drilled when it was clear it needed more of an angle to the front part. Not an easy thing to fix after the fact. We had even installed a mock up of the arch with PVC and duct tape. Oh well. If boats were easy, we'd all be doing something else

[Melissa36]

Originally Posted by Pelagic

I have a question for our CF ladies about whether they notice a general difference in male/female relational development,
..... based on whether the guy grew up with sisters around the same age, or only brothers?

Night and day

[daletournier]

Originally Posted by gamayun

Was this on your current boat or on Freeform? If it was on the Freedom, can you post a pic? And if you don't mind indulging me further....what size and wattage was your solar panel? I am working with a friend to build the arch. We're using 2" aluminum pipe and will anodize it. I did all the tube bending and cutting -- it was decided early on that I suck at welding, though I hear that takes a bit of practice. We had the arch dry fitted recently and the holes for the footings had even been drilled when it was clear it needed more of an angle to the front part. Not an easy thing to fix after the fact. We had even installed a mock up of the arch with PVC and duct tape. Oh well. If boats were easy, we'd all be doing something else

Wasn't on Freeform. I've fitted it to my current boat. On Freeform I had 300w solar bimini mounted , mostly was enough. I have 500 on Sukha. Atlantic arches sell some cool arch accessories.

Keeping up with power offshore on extended passages is much harder than managing it during coastal sailing. Having an alternator than can actually pump out close to its rating consistently is handy, but most small case alternators struggle to do this, they get hot. Ventilation (fan) helps heaps. The Hydrovane steered Freeform very well offshore and used zero power.

Anyway big drift, but then again the whole thread could be called "Drift".