Single Men Living Aboard and Cruising... an honest look.

[boatman61]

ChiChi.. don't sail with me then.. I use Paco Rabanne Original Aftershave.. not to impress, but rather because I like the sting and love the smell.
Oh!!! and as for female crew.. they must have skin that's compatible with Opium original.

[Steven UK]

Originally Posted by boatman61

Purple Engines..
Sorry Beni.. could not resist..

Where is the nice lady who had the pink engine and pink all over the boat, I'm sure she was a retired engineer...?

Oh and hello again been away for a few months...

[boatman61]

She's around.. think she's busy changing anchorage.. or another project now she's got her new windlass up and running.
Trivia like this is for us with emptier heads..

[BandB]

Originally Posted by Chichi

3) i took some group sailing lessons years back (here in france), and the instructors didn't realize it, but they spoke directly to the guys on board while sailing. they (two different instructors during different courses) would look directly into the eyes of the guys on board when delivering the important (responsibility stuff) info. i probably would not have noticed but, because i hear less well than others, i tend to look at someone directly (especially in the wind) as so much can be read in the face and mouth. after a while...

.

Quite common and I've seen done in business. A funny story of the pitfalls.

My wife had always dreamed of owning a Porsche so after we moved to Florida, we went on two shopping trips, one for my new car (not a Porsche) and one for her Porsche. We're on the Porsche lot and the salesman refuses to address her. She'll ask a question, he'll answer it to me. I made it clear a couple of times that she was the buyer, not me. Finally, she asked about the color she wanted and he starts on about how he can get it although he doesn't have one but the colors he has are more popular. Then he speaks directly to me and asks "Sir, what can we do to get you in one today." I said, "Well, since I made it clear that I had no interest in buying a Porsche, that's clearly not going to happen." She then said, "And since you refuse to talk to me, the one ready to buy one, then you'll have to wait until h... freezes over to have a chance of selling one." And away we walked. Drove to Tampa and she bought her car.

[TJ D]

Originally Posted by weavis

I always found it strange that containment of Diesel fumes or eau de diesel has never been a success.

Eventually it gets everywhere.

Baxter smells like diesel often. He doesn't seem to mind. His bed is pretty close to the racors...

[john61ct]

Yes, I've a FWB who makes lots more than me, so she usually treats, and it's amazing how insistent we have to be for staff to deal directly with her sometimes.

She's explicitly counted out the cash to them, and then they gave *me* the change!

Fact that she's forty years younger and gorgeous must be part of it...

[TiggerTwo]

The chap on 'Sailing Doodles' is a nice guy.. I think he's now staring down both barrels ..
As he's changed his crew to a hotty.. No doubt aware, hits, views and subscriptions will spiral and the youtube cash rolls in..
Most of us experienced in this field .... Are shouting at the screen 'Best of luck but in my experience it will go tits up'
I've made a right arse of myself over the years but now I've been lucky...
Damn Lucky..

[gamayun]

Originally Posted by Pelagic

I'd call that article self serving BS designed to help the magazine sell advertising.

That same crap could be applied to men, but my key issue with this is:
ALL WOMEN are incredible to the right partner and if you start grading a potential partner in terms of inferior/superior.... You are guaranteed to end up with a hollow choice that never reaches his/her potential.

Oh Pelagic, indulge me from time to time, huh? A girl just might need you to nod your head and agree with her, ya know? It might earn you brownie points and a back rub. Isn't that how this relationship thing works?

ChiChi, that's exactly why I have my own boat and why there are so many more women-only sailing courses (with the ones I've seen packed full).

[cyan]

Originally Posted by gamayun

THIS is what we've been talking about, right ladies?!

https://www.bolde.com/incredible-wom...ves-heres-why/

This is an interesting article, but ladies, it may not be possible to get the key details from the inside- from the eyes of such an incredible woman. The bad "dating lives" may just be a tip of a deeper iceberg that lurks. I'll give you an interesting example, perhaps a cautionary tale.

I was once with one of those 10/10 incredible women. She is now a famous attorney and incredibly successful, a true titan in her field- the kind of superhero that corporations call when they are in a billion-dollar pickle. I was with her throughout her transition over the years from small town sweet girl before college, all the way to big-city take-no-prisoners shark.

She is now beautiful, engaging, and professionally successful beyond dreams.
She has been alone for a long time, with maybe one second-date in 10 years. It is not her choice to be alone.

She fits all of the article's categories such as intense, intimidating, goals, calls BS, etc. These are often admirable traits but there can be a dark side. Her meteoric rise to the top of her male-dominated profession required her to develop the listed traits in a turbo-charged manner and additionally, an extreme persona that I can only describe as ball-busting. She had to compensate for being an aspiring woman in a man's world by becoming a take-no-prisoners dominant leader. She dominates opponents as well as conversations. Every human engagement for her is intense.

My strong sense of fair play cries foul that my ex had to adopt these extreme traits to succeed in her field, just because of her gender. That sucks. She beat the odds, though. She did it. Along the way, she lost the traits that made her a joy to be with. She sold her soul, in a way. She took all of the categories in that article and turbocharged them- owning them. She can't leave this intensity at the office, because it is not an act now. It is her.

She's beautiful, rich, and alone, as she's been for many years. We're still friends, and I feel bad for her. I cannot help her now, as I've moved on with a happy relationship. If we could go back in time a couple of decades, I would tell her that those articles about "incredible women" should be read with the knowledge that there may be a terrible price to pay for embracing those traits, for turbo-charging each one. The "bad dating lives" of the article is just a hint...
Adopt all those "incredible woman" traits and risk being alone.

[gamayun]

Originally Posted by Steven UK

Where is the nice lady who had the pink engine and pink all over the boat, I'm sure she was a retired engineer...?

Oh and hello again been away for a few months...

Oh my. You have some serious catching up to do. Got time....?

[gamayun]

Originally Posted by cyan

This is an interesting article, but ladies, it may not be possible to get the key details from the inside- from the eyes of such an incredible woman. The bad "dating lives" may just be a tip of a deeper iceberg that lurks. I'll give you an interesting example, perhaps a cautionary tale.

I was once with one of those 10/10 incredible women. She is now a famous attorney and incredibly successful, a true titan in her field- the kind of superhero that corporations call when they are in a billion-dollar pickle. I was with her throughout her transition over the years from small town sweet girl before college, all the way to big-city take-no-prisoners shark.

She is now beautiful, engaging, and professionally successful beyond dreams.
She has been alone for a long time, with maybe one second-date in 10 years. It is not her choice to be alone.

She fits all of the article's categories such as intense, intimidating, goals, calls BS, etc. These are often admirable traits but there can be a dark side. Her meteoric rise to the top of her male-dominated profession required her to develop the listed traits in a turbo-charged manner and additionally, an extreme persona that I can only describe as ball-busting. She had to compensate for being an aspiring woman in a man's world by becoming a take-no-prisoners dominant leader. She dominates opponents as well as conversations. Every human engagement for her is intense.

My strong sense of fair play cries foul that my ex had to adopt these extreme traits to succeed in her field, just because of her gender. That sucks. She beat the odds, though. She did it. Along the way, she lost the traits that made her a joy to be with. She sold her soul, in a way. She took all of the categories in that article and turbocharged them- owning them. She can't leave this intensity at the office, because it is not an act now. It is her.

She's beautiful, rich, and alone, as she's been for many years. We're still friends, and I feel bad for her. I cannot help her now, as I've moved on with a happy relationship. If we could go back in time a couple of decades, I would tell her that those articles about "incredible women" should be read with the knowledge that there may be a terrible price to pay for embracing those traits, for turbo-charging each one. The "bad dating lives" of the article is just a hint...
Adopt all those "incredible woman" traits and risk being alone.

Ouch, Cyan, dude. Are you sure she's so miserable and needs a full-time mate and would go back to her meek, mild self if she could just to get a guy? Seriously, I don't want to beat a dead horse here and get a repeat of the last 1500 posts, but there's something to be said about meeting men and dating on one's own terms, and not compromising oneself. Of course, I can easily argue a bit against myself by saying that "balance" is a trait that's often missing from many successful people's lives, and the lack of it can lead to much misery, too.

[gamayun]

Ha, just had another thought....she became just like the men in their typical action and approach. So lesson learned ladies, to be successful, don't be that guy!!!

[Olddan1943]

Originally Posted by gamayun

Ha, just had another thought....she became just like the men in their typical action and approach. So lesson learned ladies, to be successful, don't be that guy!!!

[Stu Jackson]

Originally Posted by Chichi

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
he then back-seat steered (like a panic-ass) and near drove me nuts!!! and it wasn't because i was bad at it, it was because he felt insecure if he wasn't the one in control. i asked for another partner and got one (thank goodness). >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
i'm particular about tools. tools need care and to be well-stowed. i like having a handy box and get frustrated when tools are unfindable. having a boat with a tool room, with a mini bench, with a vise would thrill me silly! that's the hard thing about small boats...

I know a guy in Chicago who used to drive to the West Coast to see his daughter and to Boston to see his son and to Florida to get warm in the winter. He never lets his wife drive, even locally. He doesn't like to fly. He likes to be "in control." He doesn't take painkilling drugs, even for a root canal!!! And he doesn't consider himself a "control freak", nor do I - he's quite a nice guy.

I, too, like my tools neat and accessible. I put kitchen drawer dividers in my nav station for my daily tools, with a hatch holder to keep the lid up - one handed opening and closing. Been there for twenty years. I rarely have to go looking for anything.

[john61ct]

Originally Posted by Stu Jackson

I know a guy in Chicago
…
He never lets his wife drive, even locally. He doesn't like to fly. He likes to be "in control." He doesn't take painkilling drugs, even for a root canal!!! And he doesn't consider himself a "control freak", nor do I - he's quite a nice guy.

"lets?!"

I keep seeing that "nice guy" label applied to people with horribly regressive / oppressive attitudes and even behaviours.

Amazing how far people can get by just being pleasant and polite on the outside.