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Old 21-09-2019, 04:00   #61
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Re: Single-handed cruising lifestyle: what is it REALLY like?

Originally Posted by Sojourner View Post
You're right about not needing to be singlehanding, but the other points I disagree. The ONLY reason we can strike up conversations and make friends this easily cruising is our shared commonalities. If a random guy from the street showed up at my stern, there is a much smaller (to zero) chance I'd invite him up for a look or beer than someone I just helped dock. The three of us are grade A weirdos, covered in tattoos and colored hair and holding each others' hands (when there isn't a cat in them)....I don't think there's a huge chance I'd be sitting down at dinner with the sweet 70 year old couple from Belgium or New Zealand if we didn't also own a big boat and have all that in common that boating requires of people. But we do all the time, and have wonderful exchanges of ideas, stories and alcohols. Boats make it possible, or at least very much easier to bridge all kinds of societal gaps that bars just don't do. In my humble opinion

On that note, not mentioned,
That's why I mentioned the bar if you don't own a boat or the right boat.

When I raced beach cats, my boats were not at the marina/dock but I was still pretty much one of the gang. (at our dock and most of the others in town) I walked the docks for years trying to figure out which type monohull I'd buy one day both in Pensacola and up here. I talked with folks now and then

At our dock (my apartment had it's own dock), it was the meeting place for the sailors and others. The older guys would run on constantly about their trips/cruises and the pluses and minuses of each boat there.

The point is that if you are alone for enough time you will seek the company of others

For some it's a few days for others a few weeks or months

The picture is of our dock from back in the day. Well I should say the stop our dock used to be. This one is the new one that was built in place of the old one which was destroyed in hurricane Ivan in 2004. There was no pool there back in the day either or seawall. First floor apartments had maybe 8' of water in them during the surge. people were there during the surge also. All survived
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Old 21-09-2019, 04:27   #62
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Re: Single-handed cruising lifestyle: what is it REALLY like?

Originally Posted by Hugo B View Post
What I do see and what is not often mentioned is that you need very good all-round handyman skills, particularly with engines. I am OK with the sailing but I am no McGyver and do not know much about engines. Before writing this post I just watched another episode of the "Old Seadog". It seems just about all he does is fixing things. I know it is necessary to be able to do this, but if that's just about all you are doing .. where's the joy in that? Any comments on that?

Yeah, there's some maintenance involved. Yeah, you generally need to be a engine guy, a plumber, an HVAC guy, sanitation engineer, etc. unless you can afford to hire all that.

That said, it doesn't have to be constant; once you fixed a water pump, it usually remains fixed for some years. Once you've changed your engine oil, it remains changed for that year. etc. Helps if you start out with a well maintained boat, of course.

And you don't have to know everything from the git-go; you can learn as you go. It's easier these days, anyway, with online documentation and exploded-parts diagrams and so forth for various systems (e.g., toilets), with YouTube videos on fixing or replacing everything under the sun, with boat owners forums and advice other owners can offer... A diesel course can teach you pretty much everything you'd need to know about your engine (assuming diesel) barring some kind of catastrophic failure, which are rare.

IOW, nothing insurmountable here...

And you may find satisfaction from all the maintenance activity, too. It can certainly keep your mind from stagnating...

Selby Bay, South River, Chesapeake Bay, USA.
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Old 21-09-2019, 04:48   #63
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Re: Single-handed cruising lifestyle: what is it REALLY like?

Originally Posted by Sojourner View Post
This is SURPRISING! You seem gregarious enough on here, and really, what is this forum if not constantly striking up conversations with randos and hearing what we all have to say?
The Internet and social media are a strange thing. Youíre not actually having to look and act a certain way in front of people. You donít have to put an act on. Iím sitting here completely naked in a hotel room with my hair a mess lying in bed.

If I type something stupid, I can just delete it. I donít have to put on a facial expression for people to understand what Iím saying. I have emojis.

If you are somewhat of an introvert which I guess I am, conversations on here are very easy. Sometimes the length of a conversation with a stranger in person gets a little overwhelming. you have things youíre trying to do, things youíre thinking about, and the person is going on for 20 minutes. LOL they are very long drawn out things typically. And my mind will start to wander away from them. Here, I can read what I want to read. And read it when I have the time.

It takes genuine effort to look right, act right, say the right things, and come off as a decent person in front of others. To me, thatís a lot of effort. And it feels like a lot of effort. If you send me to a networking event, I can do it. People think Iím a good guy, they trust me, they like me. But inside, Iím exhausted by the end of the day of that. Itís all fake. And being fake takes a tremendous effort for me.

Do you know when youíre at the Anchorage and you see that one boat all the way out at the end? All by itself? And the people donít really talk to anyone? Thatís my boat. Ha ha ha

Itís not that I am incapable of doing just what you say. Itís not like some kind of handicap or something. Itís just very tiring to do it for a long period of time. Or even for 20 minutes when I have a lot I am trying to work on.

The Internet can provide a bit of a social life without all of the effort that goes into a real one. But I do find it necessary to have social bonds. However, those are between me and one or more women. LOL yes, I have done the poly life thing a little bit myself. These days Iím just on one girlfriend.
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Old 21-09-2019, 05:16   #64
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Re: Single-handed cruising lifestyle: what is it REALLY like?

...single handed sailing is no different from living solo on still have to deal with other people, go shopping for stuff, etc....
...yes, the weather plays a part, but no different from bad weather on land...traffic...crime...etc... is mostly a mind set...and the odds are, that despite being single handed, you will be constantly surrounded by other yachties who will become your " family"
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Old 21-09-2019, 05:40   #65
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Re: Single-handed cruising lifestyle: what is it REALLY like?

Sojourner I would love to meet some grade A weirdos. I know my kids would be straight onto your cat, as for the Tatts, hair colour and poly thing I think you will have to try harder to be weird in our book? Maybe putting a junk rig on your Amel might convince us?
Chotu I am hearing you about having to fake it with people. I come home sometimes after a day of faking it for a client and my heads a mess.
Ranger42c is right that maintenance is not an issue if you can afford to hire someone. Back in my boat building days I often performed the most simple jobs for people who would could earn more than they would save by doing the job themselves.
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Old 21-09-2019, 06:58   #66
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Re: Single-handed cruising lifestyle: what is it REALLY like?

As far as being able to listen to folks run on for 20 minutes, that's all about the type of person you are. Some engineers can hardly listen at all they are so focused on their thoughts

If you are a good communicator and good natural listener, that is no problem

For others, it's real work to be able to listen for very long

Most of my guys know I will give them my undivided attention for at least 30 seconds but after that I come and go while thinking about other things

Also, as an electronics/computer tech for 40 years plus, long troubleshooting stories from techs get old quick. (just tell me the fix; not each troubleshooting step)

For some of us, it's the same with long stories about boat stuff

When you are new to it though, these stories are very helpful and enjoyable to hear

Being undiagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) doesn't help either.....
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cruising, single

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