Single, Female, and living aboard?

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by zeehag

having worked in bad neighborhoods and,as a result, walking thru parking lots and nearly empty partially lighted innercity streets for over 30 yrs, i know ho wto walk thru areas in which i shoulda been murdered twice and raped 14 times each visit, according to the programming used in usa.
it is not the gender it is the mindset.
confidence is the best weapon you can hold-- it shows lack of fear and keeps you out of the victimization mindset.
not flaunting wealth of any kind also is a good idea.
handbags over the shoulder --false security. easily taken. money in pocket--easily picked.
be sensible. walk with confidence and keys between fingers.
you are what you are programmed to be. break that programming and think independently. you are not a victim, you are strong and confident and capable.

[a64pilot]

I believe that there have been studies that indicate that criminals are to some extent a lot like the big African cats, that is they study the intended prey and seek out the weak ones and the ones that are not as vigilant. They seem to prey a lot on the old and young when they can, the young hopefully have an adult that is watching over them, so less likely to be prey, but an older person obviously not from around here, is likely to be thought of as prey.

What that has to do with cruising is, I for instance am not as young and as dangerous looking as I once was, and am more likely to be considered as prey than I once was, so now vigilance is even more important, as I intend to not be prey if I can help it.

I have traveled in parts of the world where Women were considered property, I will never take my wife to those places if I can help it, and I didn't enjoy myself there either, so I hope to not return. We are not going to change their Society, all we can do is avoid it I think.

[Hudson Force]

Originally Posted by a64pilot

I believe that there have been studies that indicate that criminals are to some extent a lot like the big African cats.................
........

I was immediately thinking of a Robertson and Caine Leopard 58. Sometimes I just can't seem to stay focused while reading a long thread.

..but back to the those living aboard of all descriptions, 'wishing you the best!

[JPA Cate]

zeehag's right about presentation. A64pilot's right about being more vulnerable to predators as you age.

In our lifetime of cruising, we've met only a few MM FF cruisers who were open about it. When you're out there doing it, rather than just reading about it, what you look for are people who are compatible. A few will become close lifetime friends, many move on to other things. One's sexuality isn't a big part of the picture, in relating to and meeting with others.

It's more about the other things that come up. How many dolphins? how big a fish?
that sort of thing. We're all a little out of the ordinary, or we wouldn't be doing it.

Ann

[Souzag818]

Originally Posted by zeehag

having worked in bad neighborhoods and,as a result, walking thru parking lots and nearly empty partially lighted innercity streets for over 30 yrs, i know ho wto walk thru areas in which i shoulda been murdered twice and raped 14 times each visit, according to the programming used in usa.
it is not the gender it is the mindset.
confidence is the best weapon you can hold-- it shows lack of fear and keeps you out of the victimization mindset.
not flaunting wealth of any kind also is a good idea.
handbags over the shoulder --false security. easily taken. money in pocket--easily picked.
be sensible. walk with confidence and keys between fingers.
you are what you are programmed to be. break that programming and think independently. you are not a victim, you are strong and confident and capable.

Couldn't have said it any better

[Blue Crab]

Sorry, were you gals talking to us?

[Dockhead]

Originally Posted by Morgan Stone

Actually she's not my partner, she's my wife. We aren't a corporation, we are a family, and have been so for more than 11 years. . . .

As a person who loves language, and hates bland and intentionally uninformative euphemisms like "partner", I salute your frankness

And I'll join Phil as another politically conservative neanderthal man, who would be the first (or second, after Phil) to welcome you in any anchorage where we might cross paths. I will agree with him that the cruising community is much more open and much less prejudiced, than the general population, and that's the way we like it. I believe you will also be much safer among us than on land -- we tend to look after our own. Cheers!


On the modern use of "partner" to mean any undefined but presumably semi-permanent romantic or sexual relationship -- yet another bad consequence of this in the language is that the correct uses of the word have also been corrupted! Whenever I introduce any of my business partners to anyone, I discovered the hard way, that I now have to be careful to add the word business, as in "business partner", otherwise, people get the wrong idea.

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by Dockhead

As a person who loves language, and hates bland and intentionally uninformative euphemisms like "partner", I salute your frankness

And I'll join Phil as another politically conservative neanderthal man, who would be the first (or second, after Phil) to welcome you in any anchorage where we might cross paths. I will agree with him that the cruising community is much more open and much less prejudiced, than the general population, and that's the way we like it. I believe you will also be much safer among us than on land -- we tend to look after our own. Cheers!


On the modern use of "partner" to mean any undefined but presumably semi-permanent romantic or sexual relationship -- yet another bad consequence of this in the language is that the correct uses of the word have also been corrupted! Whenever I introduce any of my business partners to anyone, I discovered the hard way, that I now have to be careful to add the word business, as in "business partner", otherwise, people get the wrong idea.

True about interpretations.. there's a few 'Gringo's' who live with the misconception that a 'Companheira' is akin to a prostitute.. when in fact its akin to Namorada.. a Girlfriend, Fiancee..

[Sailor g]

I understand about showing confidence and have done so without any problem. I rode the bus system and walked around Mexico alone all the time while we were down there. I am married so have a husband to go around with often but he didn't usually shop with me there because it took so long and I check things carefully.

But...this will work often-even, maybe, most of the time. But the chance is always there. Some can say get over it but there is a danger. Women get attacked, kidnapped or degraded verbally daily. Usually, we are smaller and, often, less strong than a guy. It's just a fact. Read the statistics. I worked in inner city schools toe to toe against gang kids and in a maximum security prison as a teacher for 4 years and read the files on those wanting to be a student aide so I know about the seamier side. And some areas in US and some countries are safer than others. Sad but true.

A more humorous story about safety. We were in San Carlos, Mexico (Mag Bay) for fuel after going through a bad storm that put us a few days late. I had to go up on the dock to pay for fuel anyway so took a taxi to a Internet cafe to let friends & family know we were ok. The dock is for commercial fishing boats & is very high! Our sailboat isn't. So I had to hop on a stantion with my husband pushing my back side into the hands of a stranger (I only spoke moderate Spanish). Paid for fuel, took the taxi (another strange man) into town to the cafe-which was really some woman's house with a room with computers. Taxied back to the gentleman ('mother stranger) who would row me back to our boat (hubby had to move it off dock). We
crossed rotten planks from commercial fishing boat to another and down their metal ladder on the side to underneath the pier-with said stranger-to his boat that looked like it had been upside down on the beach for the last 40 or so years. All very safely. The only trouble I had is that the taxi dropped me at the port captain-who tried to badger me for money. I had only $10 in pesos with me-but he worked 20 minutes at it. That's the only time I felt danger. Or maybe it was the pelican poo I fell into while landing on the dock? [emoji90]

Welcome to the forum. I appreciate your sharing this with us. Best of luck to you in your cruising.

[Teknishn]

Originally Posted by Ann T. Cate

zeehag's right about presentation. A64pilot's right about being more vulnerable to predators as you age.

One's sexuality isn't a big part of the picture, in relating to and meeting with others.

It's more about the other things that come up. How many dolphins? how big a fish? that sort of thing.

We're all a little out of the ordinary, or we wouldn't be doing it.

Ann

This has been an interesting thread to follow. I'm only just returning to the cruising community in a couple of weeks when I repatriate to the States (and only coastal cruising for now). I've been living and working in Egypt doing ship, boat and yacht repair for the past 20 years and I've lost count of the number of times that some wealthy male Egyptian boat owner has suggested having a late night "liaison". What they see in a 56 year old skinny male runt like me is anyone's guess. That, and I have no desire to go there in the first place. Have lost jobs as a result.

The point being, in some cultures, your gender might not particularly matter to the predators out there. I zeehag's, A64pilot's and Ann's comments.

Concerning being female and single on a boat, and this is specific to Egypt (but may also apply to other countries is this region), my nearest experience with problems associated with females on boats is that while serving as the Engineer on a 40-meter yacht here, we hired 2 experienced non-Egyptian women and 2 local Egyptian women as stewardess'. All 4 of them were detained by local security within days, with the 2 Egyptian women being charged with prostitution because they were living on a yacht which also had 4 male Egyptian crew plus a non-Egyptian captain and engineer.

For the first few months, if any of the women working onboard were coming back to the yacht after 2200, I would have to go to the marina security office and personally vouch for them and escort them back to the yacht. Talk about demeaning to these young ladies!

The few cruisers that I have met here in Alexandria, Port Said, Hurghada, Safaga and Port Ghalib over the years while they were transitting the Red Sea have all been great people with wonderful stories to share. And the women? With or without partners, husbands, wives, etc., have all been tough as nails and generally good fun to be around.

Ladies? If you want to do it....just go do it. I think that this thread has proved that it can....no, wait....it IS being done by women out there (we need an applause/respect icon here).

[a64pilot]

From a safety perspective this is an interesting read. Seems particularly if your a single female, displaying a pair of men's size 12 work boots is an intelligent thing to do
https://www.psychologytoday.com/arti.../marked-mayhem

[gypsy wanderer]

I'm confused. Should the woman wear size twelve boots or just have them by the door?
Not sure which would deter me more.
Over 35000 replies to this thread? Is that a record or something?

[Sea Dreaming]

Originally Posted by gypsy wanderer

I'm confused. Should the woman wear size twelve boots or just have them by the door?
Not sure which would deter me more.
Over 35000 replies to this thread? Is that a record or something?

Hmm..this one is #313. What happened to the rest?

I doubt it's a record though. No one Is bickering!

[gypsy wanderer]

I guess it was 35000 views and not as much of a record as I thought.
Seems we are more interested in viewing threads about dead batteries and the like.

[Jim Cate]

Originally Posted by gypsy wanderer

I guess it was 35000 views and not as much of a record as I thought.
Seems we are more interested in viewing threads about dead batteries and the like.

Well, there are likely more CFers with dead batteries than who are single liveaboard females...

Jim