Single, Female, and living aboard?

[JPA Cate]

Just to say I've enjoyed catching up on this thread. I really like it that a lot of women came out of the woodwork, too, and, it's super that y'all now have each other to "chat" with here. Good on CF.

[Mora]

Hello All,
interesting thread. I've been kind of lurking here for a long time, but I'll throw my two cents.
I was single for a few years, and unlike some others on here, wanted to find a man for a long term relationship. During that time I crewed on some boats but never had one of my own. I also dated, extensively, here in California. I'm 49 now and men around my age here mostly seem to have some kind of problem. Most seemed depressed and a little bitter. Maybe it's the age.
Then I crewed on a sailboat in Spain and met the Scottish captain, David. We hit it off and now we are planning a future together, sailing the Med.
I have heard that there are just not as many women as men who love sailing and who would live on a sailboat. I guess that's true. Also, the older you get the more you know what you do, and don't, want. For me, wanting this lifestyle, it was hard meeting a lot of men who were living it. After all they are scattered all across the world's oceans, and I'm kind of picky.
Being a sailor wasn't a priority for the man I was looking for, but I got lucky with David and found the best man! I guess when they say do what you love and love will find you, it was true in my case.
Good luck to everyone!

[JPA Cate]

Originally Posted by Mora

Hello All,
interesting thread. I've been kind of lurking here for a long time, but I'll throw my two cents.
I was single for a few years, and unlike some others on here, wanted to find a man for a long term relationship. During that time I crewed on some boats but never had one of my own. I also dated, extensively, here in California. I'm 49 now and men around my age here mostly seem to have some kind of problem. Most seemed depressed and a little bitter. Maybe it's the age.
Then I crewed on a sailboat in Spain and met the Scottish captain, David. We hit it off and now we are planning a future together, sailing the Med.
I have heard that there are just not as many women as men who love sailing and who would live on a sailboat. I guess that's true. Also, the older you get the more you know what you do, and don't, want. For me, wanting this lifestyle, it was hard meeting a lot of men who were living it. After all they are scattered all across the world's oceans, and I'm kind of picky.
Being a sailor wasn't a priority for the man I was looking for, but I got lucky with David and found the best man! I guess when they say do what you love and love will find you, it was true in my case.
Good luck to everyone!

Welcome aboard CF, Mora. And, congratulations to you and David. Good luck is wonderful!

Ann

PS. Grownups should be picky in mate choice. At least as much care as for a boat!

[SailFastTri]

Welcome aboard CF Mora. Glad you found "Captain Right". Wish you both a lot of happiness together.

[Pelagic]

Welcome to CF Mora and finding a partner who is happy within themselves is the first step in a long and loving relationship.

Working as a professional sailing couple where one is the paid captain, presents a whole new level of challenges to the relationship.

[CSailor]

I know of two women (long distance) cruisers without men. Me and my wife! Yup, I'm a woman with one of those aforementioned, gender-hiding monikers.

Soooo, single: NO. Looking for friends: ABSOLUTELY. Looking for adventure: TOTALLY.

Would love to know if there's others out there of the F persuasion, doing the same thing. Sure, we're a lesbian, cruising couple (only couple we know of, and we've been a lot of places - most of it really far offshore, though). Around marinas and anchorages we keep a low profile, for safety reasons.

How about it? Hands up, if you're a lesbian cruiser, or doing it without "the man" just because you can, and cuz you know, it's all about the adventure.

[KiminAK]

Hello Morgan and wife , I'm one of those about to do it and alone because I can. I'd love to have an active conversation here between female sailors. It would keep me from obsessively looking at Yacht World, Boat list, etc.

As for me, I am in the middle of selling a house or two and when that's done, I'll have the money for a boat. I am now in the luxurious period when I can have a different favorite boat every day. In a couple of months, that's going to be different and that's going to be scary.

I'm going to base out of San Carlos, Mexico. Where are you guys now??

[CSailor]

Originally Posted by KiminAK

Hello Morgan and wife , I'm one of those about to do it and alone because I can. I'd love to have an active conversation here between female sailors. It would keep me from obsessively looking at Yacht World, Boat list, etc.

As for me, I am in the middle of selling a house or two and when that's done, I'll have the money for a boat. I am now in the luxurious period when I can have a different favorite boat every day. In a couple of months, that's going to be different and that's going to be scary.

I'm going to base out of San Carlos, Mexico. Where are you guys now??

Ahoy KiminAK - wow, the adventure is about to begin for you! I envy you, but not the boat shopping... it's going to make you crazy. Then buying it is just the first step. Then you have to kit it out. Fun, super steep learning curve, and you have to be on it like a hawk.

A Women's Room (pardon my French) for women sailors would be great. I wonder how one goes about getting Cruiser's Forum to set one up for us adventurous misfits? Some discussion, specific to women sailing without men, would be super appreciated. It's a man's world and they make darn sure the gals know that.

We're on the US East Coast (well the boat is). When we next cast off, it's for the Med. BTW, the Sea of Cortez is a great place to get your sea legs. Achingly gorgeous. Like sailing in Death Valley, except with water and not as hot.

[sailorchic34]

Here are a number of single women on the board who singlehand, myself included. I do have a grumpy cat though....

[Sea Dreaming]

Originally Posted by Morgan Stone

Room (pardon my French) for women sailors would be great. I wonder how one goes about getting Cruiser's Forum to set one up for us adventurous misfits? Some discussion, specific to women sailing without men, would be super appreciated. It's a man's world and they make darn sure the gals know that.

Please do not discount women sailors with men on board. We aren't a different species and our challenges are largely the same. I would love more discussion with just women about all aspects of cruising. Men really do communicate differently than women. That is its own challenge. Sometimes I would prefer a woman's perspective without the guys butting in.

Sorry guys. It's not personal.

[CSailor]

Originally Posted by Sea Dreaming

Please do not discount women sailors with men on board. We aren't a different species and our challenges are largely the same. I would love more discussion with just women about all aspects of cruising. Men really do communicate differently than women. That is its own challenge. Sometimes I would prefer a woman's perspective without the guys butting in.

Sorry guys. It's not personal.

Perfectly said, Sea Dreaming!

[Capt Phil]

Originally Posted by Morgan Stone

I know of two women (long distance) cruisers without men. Me and my wife! Yup, I'm a woman with one of those aforementioned, gender-hiding monikers.

Soooo, single: NO. Looking for friends: ABSOLUTELY. Looking for adventure: TOTALLY.

Would love to know if there's others out there of the F persuasion, doing the same thing. Sure, we're a lesbian, cruising couple (only couple we know of, and we've been a lot of places - most of it really far offshore, though). Around marinas and anchorages we keep a low profile, for safety reasons.

How about it? Hands up, if you're a lesbian cruiser, or doing it without "the man" just because you can, and cuz you know, it's all about the adventure.

Hi Morgan and partner...
You two are exactly the reason that many folks choose cruising as a lifestyle! Cruisers are basically non-judgemental types and welcoming of pretty much everyone.
As a conservative male, I can't begin to understand why you would not be welcomed in any marina or anchorage.
It distresses me to hear you have to keep a low profile for 'safety reasons' .
Cheers, Phil

[CSailor]

Originally Posted by Capt Phil

Hi Morgan and partner...
You two are exactly the reason that many folks choose cruising as a lifestyle! Cruisers are basically non-judgemental types and welcoming of pretty much everyone.
As a conservative male, I can't begin to understand why you would not be welcomed in any marina or anchorage.
It distresses me to hear you have to keep a low profile for 'safety reasons' .
Cheers, Phil

Actually she's not my partner, she's my wife. We aren't a corporation, we are a family, and have been so for more than 11 years.

As women, we are vulnerable anywhere, not just marinas and anchorages. Boating is particularly male dominated, so extra vigilance is required for women to participate in it (without a man), just as in any male dominated endeavor. Of course we're welcomed into marinas: they don't tend to turn away paying guests. The safety concerns for women-without-men: meaning, not visibly the property of, or under the protection of, are universal and not specific to boating.

Our experience has been that men tend to act highly entitled to our attention, our boat, our bodies, when they know there isn't another man in the picture. Denying these entitlements leads to insecurity in most men, which results in anything from demeaning, patronizing behavior (like dismissing our relationship by referring to my wife as my partner), to threats, actual physical violence, and even attempted rape. This reality is NOT limited to lesbians. It's a fact of life for pretty much any woman without a man. Those are the safety issues - and I think I just stumbled across something earthshatteringly obvious about the question asked in this thread: Single, Female and Living Aboard?

[KiminAK]

Capt. Phil, all us women sailing alone keep a bit of a low profile for safety reasons. Morgan and her wife at least have the protection of each other, but to be female and completely alone on a boat, I don't advertise that. Thankfully I have a very yappy dog and I'll bet I button up the boat more than a man sailing alone would. It's just the reality of being a woman. Sad but true.

[KiminAK]

In re-reading Capt. Phil's post, I'm wondering if he was saying that he'd be shocked to find cruisers being aggressive against anyone for being gay.