Single, Female, and living aboard?

[Tetepare]

Hint for all the single skippers looking for a lady mate: women don't like to be yelled at, whether they made a mistake or not.

Second hint: it's probably your screw-up anyway.

Third hint: they won't yell back- but you'll find that your breakfast sucks, the dishes are in the sink waiting for you to wash, and you can hang up your own weather gear">foul weather gear.

Forth hint: if they do yell back you're really F'd. Chances are though you'll be spared that, as they won't stick around that long. If you're lucky enough that they do give it back, it's a great time to find a place with a hot shower, nice dinner, and apologetic skipper.

Hey, how did we get off single women on boats? Oh, I mean, like, not get off them, like get off topic? Even I got dragged into the "mate on boat" diversion. A single woman on a boat is the one GIVING the orders!

[goat]

Lots of yelling on my boat. Abusive, drunken skipper that hollers at me no matter what I'm doing. I'm on the verge of mutiny. Perhaps I should stop soloing.

[sailing_gal]

Hey---- What makes anyone think it is the woman making the mistake? As a licensed captain and mostly solo cruiser/liveaboard, I have had crew that thought they knew what they were doing- but didn't. And men are often the worst, because they think they know and are less apt to ask before doing something. I have had lots of different abilities of crew on board but have managed to not yell at any of them- even the ones with really dumb ideas. I simply view it as a teaching opportunity. It's my boat, and I am the Captain- and any man who crews for me ought to respect that. However, I am always open to suggestions, somebody might have a better way of doing something I hadn't thought of.

[Jd1]

Originally Posted by goat

Lots of yelling on my boat. Abusive, drunken skipper that hollers at me no matter what I'm doing. I'm on the verge of mutiny. Perhaps I should stop soloing.

Stop getting abused and jump ship ... that'll teach that crappy skipper!

[a64pilot]

Originally Posted by Tetepare

Hint for all the single skippers looking for a lady mate: women don't like to be yelled at, whether they made a mistake or not.

I'll give you another hint, after more than thirty years of marriage, I can tell you, she makes no mistakes, sometimes I didn't correctly understand what she wanted maybe, but any mistake wasn't hers

[weavis]

Originally Posted by a64pilot

I'll give you another hint, after more than thirty years of marriage, I can tell you, she makes no mistakes, sometimes I didn't correctly understand what she wanted maybe, but any mistake wasn't hers

[Cap Erict3]

Originally Posted by sailing_gal

Hey---- What makes anyone think it is the woman making the mistake? As a licensed captain and mostly solo cruiser/liveaboard, I have had crew that thought they knew what they were doing- but didn't. And men are often the worst, because they think they know and are less apt to ask before doing something. I have had lots of different abilities of crew on board but have managed to not yell at any of them- even the ones with really dumb ideas. I simply view it as a teaching opportunity. It's my boat, and I am the Captain- and any man who crews for me ought to respect that. However, I am always open to suggestions, somebody might have a better way of doing something I hadn't thought of.

I am all for suggestions but feel they should be offered prior or post. Not in the middle of the action.

[kmacdonald]

Originally Posted by kmacdonald

If the crew knew what they were doing the captain would not have to yell.

Originally Posted by gamayun

Do you seriously believe this?

Well yea. When I sail with my wife she refuses to do anything. Says she doesn't know how. She can't or won't even hold the tiller never mind steer. As a result I've learned how to get it to self steer. Yelling has no effect on her (prozac) but it makes me feel better.

[Training Wheels]

Wow, that explains a lot.

[kmacdonald]

The wifes idea of a perfect day sailing is NO wind, calm seas, bright sunshine, plenty of tanning oils, and lots of wine to stay hydrated. I think I will get her a new mainsail for Christmas this year.

[IdoraKeeper]

Originally Posted by goat

Lots of yelling on my boat. Abusive, drunken skipper that hollers at me no matter what I'm doing. I'm on the verge of mutiny. Perhaps I should stop soloing.

I have the same idiot on my boat, keeps banging my head on the companionway hatch. Then there's tangled sheets, unsnatching snatch blocks and dirty dishes in the sink. All the yelling does is irritate sea lions.

[gamayun]

Sheez, guys. Thanks. You're reinforcing why I remain single and sail solo

[zeehag]

h ah aha ha ha this woman's idea of a good day sail includes chubascos and other forms of wicked untame-able wind and only 2 out of 3 sails in use, with boat speeds of 8.4 kts with this heavy old boat.
h ah ah ah ah aha ha
so many who cannot manage
so many who can.
i prefer sola to the alternative, which so far, has included idiots who cannot manage and other forms of boat killing male cretins. yes i know there are good men out there--but they are difficult to find out here in cruiserville. th esolo males seem to have so much bad attitude or drug isues it is not worth our while to meet them.
so--if you males wonder why you cannot date us, women who sola our own cruising ketches and sloops and cutters and catboats and schooners, you need to perhaps figure out how to fool us into thinking you are decent sea faring folks. ha hahahahahaha.
most of us know better by now..
i have met many with whom FRIENDSHIP is possible, but yet to meet anyone date-able.
but, then, i have only been living on board since 1990, and cruising my own ketch since 2011 april. opb before that, for a year. .. i might a missed one rock to look under.......

[weavis]

Comments recently did make me laugh... and also shows deeper problems in existing relationships than just sailing issues..

[SV MAKAI]

I have been following this thread, and one thing that keeps coming up is guys yelling at crew.

I would not tolerate that crap for one min. I personally have never encountered it, and I hope I never do.

I did hear a guy at the marina screaming at his wife and kids while pulling out...I just thought he was a colossal A-hole. Then I saw them a few hours later returning...he's still yelling. Definitely a colossal A hole.

I sail alone mostly, but when I have crew I have never once felt the need to yell or get upset with anyone. What's the point? I dont delegate jobs to anyone on the boat unless they know what they are doing, or they ask and want to learn.

It's my responsibility to know the capability of my crew, and to account for it so that I dont put them in a situation they cannot handle.