Sell the boat or keep it?

[Celestialsailor]

Originally Posted by boatman61

Why do folks always assume domestic stress lies behind someone quitting sailing.. it could just be she's sick of life at 10degrees, wind in the rigging and constantly bruised thighs and butt.
I go through periods of 'That's it.. no more of this $hit..!!'
I've a friend who drives his VW camper from Germany to Greece every year.. the last few years the wifes knocked it on the head and when he heads South.. she sorts a couple off holidays in gentler more comfortable settings.
The rest of the year they spend together quite happily..

Maybe because the op said this?
" Recently it has been made clear to me that my wife has no further interest in sailing (not that she ever really did)".

[john61ct]

Many very happily married couples don't need to live in each others' pocket all the time.

She may be perfectly happy to jet in for together time staying in a comfortable resort while he's coming and going.

I agree taking some months together to assess and discuss is a great idea if needed, and meanwhile "the other woman" is there waiting ready to go.
WRT to new smaller boat, OP made it clear (AFAICT) getting that up to his standard was a huge undertaking he'd rather not deal with.

Fewer sailing weeks per year in his perfected bird in the hand is a better prospect than starting over.

Seems clear to me he can keep both his loves and be happy with some flexibility and sensitive adjustment.

[Shrew]

I have no idea what the OP's situation is. My comment was based on what I included in the quote and was addressing that persons comment, not the OP.

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by Celestialsailor

Maybe because the op said this?
" Recently it has been made clear to me that my wife has no further interest in sailing (not that she ever really did)".

One can travel on a sailboat and have zero interest in sailing it.. have had a couple of GF's like that.. one travelled the Med with me for 4yrs.. till a grandchild popped out..
Came out again for a trip to Oz but gave up after 9000nm.. the rolling and bruising got to much for her.. everyone has limits..

[Gone Bananas]

Going through this myself. Image that it's kind of like drying out or going off an addiction. One of the hardest things done in my life- to sell the boat and be grounded--But it still might be okay

I haven't read the whole list of replies but perhaps your solution IS in these replies.

Going down to a good day sailor- or something you can overnight in and esp. that you can trailer to keep at home or put in the water for a couple of months of a season vestiges of which are in the replies—then for the big stuff – bare boat. From a financial point of view- it will be a lot cheaper- and easier on the psyche not having to worry about the boat at moorage.

You are saying $ aren’t an issue, but up keep, insurance moorage were starting to take their toll (it’s just getting to be more $) and $ were for me. Hated to see the boat suffer forgotten attention- brought on by not enough $ to do the bottom this year- or my being older and can’t bend down into the engine room. Seems really good craft are for those with lots of $ to have someone else do the work--- or those that can keep up with it as an individual.

Bareboat has it’s stories as well- but still with small problems et al- likely better than having a 50 footer. Doesn’t make financial sense- even for someone that has the $ - if it is only going to be used a couple months a year (or not lived on)

Good Luck with your decision

[1Sunseeker]

Keep the boat, cheaper than starting over. Keep the wife, cheaper than starting over. Find a younger girl friend and sail on!!

[Snore]

First do you like your present boat?

If yes---add a bow thruster, perhaps electric winches and you can easily single hand it. When not out on a delivery, I do it several times a week on monohulls to 51' and cats to 44' when I captain charters.

If the answer is no--- sell it and get a 33-35' boat that you can single-hand without aids such as thrusters. IMHO, the newer hull designs at 37' still kinda need a thruster to single hand dock in a cross wind.

DO NOT go boat-less! You will always harbor some resentment that you sold something that (apparently) brought you great joy.

[BobLocal60]

Eileen Quinn song nails it, Life is a Compromise, Loves Not a Test, your lucky if the one you love loves what you love best... google her, great catalog of boat tunes!

[hamburking]

I'm in a similar position. The wife asked me to sell our boat. I thought it was so we could get a bigger boat to cruise the Caribbean. But shortly after the boat was sold, she took the money and left. I didn't see it coming. Now I have no wife, no boat, and no money. My kids are university age and no longer interested in sailing with me. I've done lots of sailing alone, buts it not as much fun as sailing with family and friends. Last summer I was volunteer crew on some deliveries, and that wasn't bad. But not the same as owning your own boat. Now I'm looking at small, cheap boats, just to get back out on the water. And I expect I'll be sailing alone. I suspect the (now ex) wife had me sell the boat because owning a really nice sailboat might make a 54 year old man considerably more attractive.

[a64pilot]

Seeing as how she took the money and left, I would assume money may have been a motivating factor.
Legend always had the man suffering from the "seven year itch"
However observation seems it's really the twenty year point for Women, seems I hope that if you get past that, then maybe it will last.

[Jd1]

FWIW, if money is no object, keep the boat to give you 'a cabin by the ocean' or 'a place to relax and rejuvenate'. I find an occasional day or three on the water is REALLY nice just to get away from it all.

[Sea Dreaming]

Originally Posted by a64pilot

Seeing as how she took the money and left, I would assume money may have been a motivating factor.
Legend always had the man suffering from the "seven year itch"
However observation seems it's really the twenty year point for Women, seems I hope that if you get past that, then maybe it will last.

Actually, women don't "itch". They spend 20 years being patient, trying to make life work, giving their all. After 20 years they realize they aren't getting what they want and move on.

[Exile]

Originally Posted by Sea Dreaming

Actually, women don't "itch". They spend 20 years being patient, trying to make life work, giving their all. After 20 years they realize they aren't getting what they want and move on.

Ah-Hah! The age-old question . . . what do women really want??

[JPA Cate]

Exile, indeed, who knows? But, where there is a woman or man involved, there is no one but each of them to know what he or she really wants. No one else can speak for them, even when similar experiences of life are involved. We all see through the filters of our own personalities.

Ann

[john61ct]

Man asks for advice about a boat. . .