Rules & Etiquette for Visitors Aboard Your Boat

[Hud3]

I think those of you who're dumping on Tom are being unfair. I never had a written list of rules for my boat, because I didn't need one. I only invited friends and family aboard, and it was sufficient to have a short "crew meeting" at the beginning of the trip to lay out my expectations and give practical instructions on safety equipment, plumbing, galley, etc. Never had a problem.

Tom's been a member here for three years, and I've read enough of his posts to know that he has a pretty unique approach to acquiring crew. He invites perfect strangers aboard, in large part because he enjoys meeting new people of all ages and backgrounds. Having a printed list of "rules" makes perfect sense in a situation like this, and any "guest" with a sense of fairness and decency would appreciate knowing the ground rules. And contributing to the food budget, etc. makes sense to me, also. Tom's guests are getting the opportunity to sail on a nice boat in exotic locales. What's the big deal about asking them to chip into the kitty?

I think a lot of the critics are translating their experience having friend and family aboard to Tom's practice of accepting strangers. The two are very different, in my view.

[Capt Phil]

DOJ's rules bring to mind and old,old adage from the 60's...'ass or grass, nobody rides for free'. Capt Phil

[kthoennes]

I don't think some posters are jumping on him personally, we're jumping on his 8 pages of rules and mandatory cost assessments for "guests." -- and the fact that they're strangers has nothing to do with it. If I invited a stranger to my house for dinner I wouldn't present him with a bill for services either.

As another poster said, it's his boat, he's welcome to bill and "instruct" guests - well, passengers - however he pleases. Not on my boat, and not with my guests.

[SailboatLarry]

Eight pages is nothing. As an old pushboat captain It would take a couple hours to do a crew change briefing. How many times did I really need to be told where the trash can was on a boat I lived on 3/4's of a year?

But anyway. I keep an instruction placard on the head door. The only reading material in there. Trash and water plan is posted in the galley. For everything thing else I just bark orders.

If I am invited for a sail or to a home. I never show up empty handed. Call it common courtesy.

[AllezCat]

I am planning to take on some crew for a short trip. Found this site with recommendations to potential crew:
Free sailing and cruising crewfinder (crew wanted) listing by CruiserLog for yachts and offshore ocean boats.
There is a lot of stuff for people to know. It can be quiet overwhelming. Having a set of bullet points and responsibilities is a great idea. The right people would welcome it.
I am usually laid back and see what happens. Usually ok.
The example of the "expert" crew interrupting the customs agent. That must be on the list.
head operation could take one page...
I used to own bars in NYC - such as in the movies "Cocktail" and "Coyote Ugly". Bartenders are hired for their attractiveness, coolness, "panache" etc... Try and tell them what to do and you get the "look". i.e. they are too cool to be told what to do.
A set of rules would invoke that "look" from too cool people - and its hasta la vista well before trouble at sea.
I wish to search bags - drugs, cigarettes, alcohol are not permitted on my passages/boat...
I want to see the list.
thx

[SailboatLarry]

I wish to search bags - drugs, cigarettes, alcohol are not permitted on my passages/boat...

If you include a coveat that I only drink wine for its anti-oxident and digestive health properties I would sail with you.

JJ I love my drink. but I put it down while sailing. And anything that could cost me loosing my boat to law inforcment is punishable by death.

[AllezCat]

Originally Posted by SailboatLarry

If you include a coveat that I only drink wine for its anti-oxident and digestive health properties I would sail with you.

JJ I love my drink. but I put it down while sailing. And anything that could cost me loosing my boat to law inforcment is punishable by death.

Hey, I like to drink - but there is non while sailing.
Agree - but its not just losing boat - you could go to jail/death penalty for crew carrying drugs...
not something to be taken lightly.

My brother and family joined us in Fiji one time. His wife smuggled pot from Australia - lit up in the cockpit upon arrival. She probably put it in his shaving kit too....

[SailboatLarry]

I hear you! I dont use or smoke. If I get caught I could be in real trouble. The thought of having my unlimited master of towing credentials ripped from me is worse thn death or jail. I worked hard for that and may need to fall back on it someday.

[psneeld]

And I'll bet half of the "wow...8 pages" types bitch and moan every time something clogs, breaks or wears a bit during the trip...and then talks behind the backs of the departed guests about everything from being clueless to cheapskates...

[avb3]

Originally Posted by David_Old_Jersey

Yeah, I'm collecting lists at the moment .

'Tis that obvious, huh?

[zeehag]

for many who cruise, their boat IS their home. do not abuse it or the privilege of being able to travel in and with it. respect it.
those are my rules. i shouldnt have to have those.
if you stuff it, you clear it. if you break it , you bought it. at market value, not at deal value. replacing home is very costly.
i believe i shouldnt have to have these rules. etiquette is just that. problem is--not all humans were raised with the same ethic.

[markpierce]

There surely is a "hard" audience here.

[limejucer]

8 pages of rules or a long brief. they all count as Skipper I am responsable for Saftey 1st then everything else and finaly if all is well having fun.

So visitor for afternoon sail in Bay gets told dont touch anything until me or mate OK's it. Then we teach them how to sail,steer,make a brew or let em sunbathe as required.

at other end going across borders we dont break the law... no drugs smuggling or anything my time and boat costs more than your kicks. we keep out of harm and the laws way. A quiet law abiding no hassle visitor.
the crew need to know how to do things. so instruction is required. if i passed out for any reason i want the boat to end someplace safe.

Sure a family/friend gets free food etc but they help/buy meals etc.
a forum member is likely to come out with our family, they have offered to share expenses. Well how do you work that out? Per day or they fill the tank.

As for ashore if they want to get pissed that is their choice.

I think an open honest approach like Toms is (honest open helpful)
If you cant stand the truth and meet someone in their own home on their terms. Guess what i thing you should do

[SailboatLarry]

As a side note to this convo. When I had my 42 footer everyone wanted to join me for an adventure. Now that I stuffed myself in a 27 footer nobody wants to go.

Not knocking anyone but if I had 8 pages that would be one page for every 40 inches of boat! I cant think of that much to say about 40 inches of my boat.

But if I was a guest on your boat I would for sure respect you enough to read your expectations and stick to them.

[markpierce]

Originally Posted by Ex-Calif

Stopped entering reggatas. Found it cheaper to just buy trophies and ribbons. Besides, first place looks way cooler on a trophy than "participant"...

Never made first place; but did second place a few times, i.e: