Rules & Etiquette for Visitors Aboard Your Boat

[Prairie Chicken]

I'm late to this thread but have found it interesting too.

I never invite people on my boat unless they are people whose company I enjoy a lot so I would never consider asking them for a financial contribution. If they ask what they can bring, depending on the length of the planned stay aboard, I might say "just yourselves" or "a frozen casserole would be helpful" or "whatever you like to drink." But all the good friends I invite aboard seem to manage to find an appropriate way to contribute, whether that be by picking up the dinner tab at a restaurant, or by inviting us to their vacation home at a later date, or by insisting on being there to help out on the day I apply bottom paint or winterize all the systems. It just never seems to be a problem but if I ever felt like I was being used, I don't have to invite them to come back.

This pretty much covers how we deal with guests so I won't retype. I'm firmly in the camp that if you charge a per diem you're chartering. Those are clients; not guests.

I really like the idea of a laminated instruction card for use of the head. Does anyone have a copy they would share? I'm a firm believer of not reinventing the wheel if it already exists.

[jtsailjt]

Originally Posted by BandB

One of the biggest things we are careful to advise is "don't try to help." This is especially true in docking. Newcomers underestimate the Captain's ability and will also do things that result in injury to themselves. We are fully prepared to handle everything. Now some who go with us regularly have been trained and know what to do at the docks.

.

Approaching the then brand new Lucaya Marina in my 44' aft cockpit sloop I briefed my (crew) on docking and emphasized that he should NOT throw the bow line to any dock boys or helpers who happened to be there when we arrived. There were calm wind, millpond conditions and I was confident we could do very well ourselves. I told him if he really felt a strong urge to throw someone a line, make sure it's a spring line fastened amidships or one held in his hand so he could let go if necessary. They were finger slips about 20' long with a piling, port and starboard, about 20' off the end of the dock. As we approached, out came a large man in his white marina uniform and stood about halfway out our dock waiting for us. As we got closer, my crew on the foredeck and the guy on the dock seemed to be conversing (aft cockpit engine noise prevented me from hearing) and my crew suddenly glanced back at me and bent down, picked up the bow line and threw it to the dockboy! Predictably, he pulled hard on it which pulled the bow sideways, in towards the dock, and swung the stern in the opposite direction, right into the piling on the opposite side......just as we had discussed about 15 minutes prior to that! Apparently the guy on the dock in his very official looking, spotless white uniform made such an impression on my crew that it overrode what I had just very specifically briefed him NOT to do. Not much you can say when it's your uncle but I did make a mental note about future sailing and how I would have to handle his presence aboard. I understood that even though I was 40 and it was my boat, my uncle still saw me as a 15 year old and he was the type guy (high level public relations executive for a major corporation) who always wanted to make a good impression so he did just what the very official looking dock boy told him to so he could "get along" with him. I have no doubt that he was honestly trying to be helpful and do what seemed to be the right thing to him. Now I am even more careful about who I let do what, and ask that everyone else stand/sit on the opposite side of the boat until we are tied up. Which reminds me...how many have had crew move directly into your line of sight just as you approach the dock so you suddenly can't even see the dock from the helm, and act surprised when you ask them to move?!

[Inkwell]

Hud3 has clearly stated the three most important rules.

[lippysyd]

Originally Posted by jtsailjt

If it becomes apparent that someone thinks my "requests" are optional for them, I don't make a big deal out of it, I just don't invite them back aboard.

I couldn't agree more. No sense making a big deal, you just don't get invited back.

We take a group of friends to Put-In-Bay every year. On that trip everyone knows that we will share boat expenses and cooler food. (It wasn't even my idea to do it that way, it was my guest's) But any other trips are come as you are, although no one ever shows up empty handed.

[Pirate999]

Originally Posted by Hud3

I had five rules for guests.

1. Learn to properly use the marine head
2. Wear proper boat shoes
3. Learn to properly use the marine head
4. No hard luggage
5. Learn to properly use the marine head

For some reason, guests had problems with rules 1, 3 and 5.

And bring rum!

[BandB]

And what does the flight attendant say as the plane gets ready to land? Please stay seated until the seat belt light is turned off.

Perhaps a good boating rule for the guests is "Please stay seated until we are docked. That's for your protection and ours." It's not just grabbing or tossing a line or trying to jump to the dock, it's getting in the way as you try to do things and even just getting in your line of vision. If everyone were to just stay seated a lot of problems could be averted.

[JPA Cate]

How to use the marine head instructions are posted where you see them as you enter the head compartment. I think they're in their last iteration!

The other thing we always do with guests is give them their life jackets and tell them to store them where they can get quickly to them.

If there are many, we appoint a "pointer" whose sole job is to point to the person who has fallen overboard. With kids aboard for a week or so, it doesn't hurt to say something like, "let's see how quick you can come back on deck with your lifejacket on". Then they can try to beat their record.

FWIW,

Ann

[jtsailjt]

Originally Posted by Ann T. Cate

If there are many, we appoint a "pointer" whose sole job is to point to the person who has fallen overboard.

FWIW,

Ann

I think that one is incredibly important and is something that's not intuitive, so unless it's really emphasized in a briefing nobody's going to be able to find the poor skipper if I/he/she's the one who falls overboard. I emphasize that in the event of MOB, someone on deck who's not at the helm needs to immediately start doing NOTHING but stare (and point) at the person in the water because if you take your eyes off them for a second to be helpful to someone else, you've just cut the odds of recovering your MOB in half.

[Stu Jackson]

The MOB issues are important and well discussed.

Has anyone here actually had an MOB?

Only one we had was when a friend who was behind the wheel tried to put his inflatable on. It dropped overboard and popped full as it was supposed to.

We hove to and sailed back to it and picked it up with a boat hook. Did the same with a hat once, but the crew raised the hook with the hat on it into the wind before I could say: "Keep it low!" and we lost the hat.

I know, I know, recovering a heavy person is not the same.

So far, in 35 years, haven't lost a "real" MOB. Did turn a small sailboat over in a gust one day on a summer camp lake, but that's when I learned never to cleat off a mainsheet on a small boat!

[sartorst]

Only minutes after giving a speech about not going back for any more hats my all time favorite hat blew off!

[Tx J]

Originally Posted by Stu Jackson

The MOB issues are important and well discussed.

Has anyone here actually had an MOB? ...Sort of, a reverse one...

Only one we had was when a friend who was behind the wheel tried to put his inflatable on. It dropped overboard and popped full as it was supposed to.

We hove to and sailed back to it and picked it up with a boat hook. Did the same with a hat once, but the crew raised the hook with the hat on it into the wind before I could say: "Keep it low!" and we lost the hat.

I know, I know, recovering a heavy person is not the same.

So far, in 35 years, haven't lost a "real" MOB. Did turn a small sailboat over in a gust one day on a summer camp lake, but that's when I learned never to cleat off a mainsheet on a small boat! ...Ruh Oh...

Several decades+ ago, 4-5 miles off South Padre Island/Brazos Santiago Pass, daughter #1 and I were aboard the Hobie 16 enjoying a great sailing day on the bluewater (1-2' swells, quite light air and sea conditions, both prevailing SE). Having read (too) much on boat handling (with a moderate amount of sail experience since age 12), and having been shown how to 'heave to' a Hobie, I really effed up.
We had gone out to a fairway anchored tramp steamer (one of those old WWII smaller Liberty ships) still used as coasters in the GOM back then; just to see it.
Then I came back in about a mile and we decided we had to have a bluewater swim before hauling out (I used to fish the jetties, should have remembered that too-- dah dah dun- jaws territory).
Hove to the Hobie and waited a bit, it was holding position just fine and nothing was coming loose, so we jumped in and started swimming and diving near the boat (leeward side). I got out about 40' away, daughter 30-20' off the boat.
I was watching the boat when an odd , larger swell came across the bows and popped it off of "hove" status, ruh-oh. I hollered to daughter (competitive swimmer) that she needed to catch the boat before it got going too dang far away (I was hoping not to trust that it would circle around).
She caught it in time, me not far behind. Whew, that would have been a long swim and drift to the beach (no PFD's, had taken them off to swim, urk).
And I even carried a small anchor in my gear box, but the rode was bay water short so I hadn't even tried it... This always worked in the Laguna Madre, dang it.

(this anecdote probably fits better on that 'dumbest thing you ever did thread floating around here )

[David_Old_Jersey]

It's amazing how folks react to someone wearing something "official", whether a uniform, high viz jacket or simply a clip on id card. I think it is a hardwired thing, not to be subserviant but to fit in with the group......plus laziness! (oh look, someone is here to think for me!).

[Prairie Chicken]

How to use the marine head instructions are posted where you see them as you enter the head compartment. I think they're in their last iteration!

Ann, would you be willing to share? Or PM me & we could arrange by email?

[Capt Phil]

The only sign I had aboard our sail and power vessels in the head was...'Nothing can be accepted in this equipment that has not been eaten first.' Solved many problems!! Phil

[JPA Cate]

Originally Posted by Prairie Chicken

Ann, would you be willing to share? Or PM me & we could arrange by email?

Probably pm is better. I have to leave the boat for a while now. However, I don't think there are any universal instructions, more like installations are different and toilets themselves vary, too, and then you have to consider manual versus electric, overboard discharge vs. holding tank, and so on.

So PM me if you still think it is a good idea.

Ann