Most frequent lie encountered while cruising

[Group9]

The wind will be 10 knots out of the SE.

[Comix Bay]

Yes, "the cheque is in the mail."

And, "Of course dear I will still love you in the morning"!!!

[BWSJWS]

I have a Neptulink with my Mexico Telcel chip in it. The most reliable WiFi I have ever had since leaving Canada last year. Six months at sea with very few stays at marinas (total about 20 days).

[Sailingketch]

(1) "I'll have it installed and running by the time you get here."
(2) "I'm retiring and selling it cheap. This isn't a project boat."
(3) "I have the tool to fix that in my truck. I'll be right back."

[sagablu]

From the seller of my boat: "The oil, filters, and impeller were changed just a week ago".

[mako]

Originally Posted by Mike OReilly

That you need an electric windlass, a big outboard, multiple heads, inboard shower, a watermaker, a big freezer... or any number of other "must haves."

I hear over and over again "Never go offshore unless you have two autopilots, two radar, AIS, chart plotter........."

[sailorboy1]

Originally Posted by Group9

The wind will be 10 knots out of the SE.

says NOAA

[s/v Jedi]

You're the first with that problem.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[waterdog]

Originally Posted by Mike OReilly

That you need a modern, 40+foot new boat.

That you need an electric windlass, a big outboard, multiple heads, inboard shower, a watermaker, a big freezer... or any number of other "must haves."

Those aren't lies encountered while cruising. Those are lies encountered while "cruising" the internet. On the water, people on boats are seldom critical of others boat and gear choices.

[notiesbob]

Recent survey - 2010
Sails in new condition - 1990
Low engine hours - 2200
All winches overhauled - bill says 2 hours @ $100/hr

[Mike OReilly]

Originally Posted by waterdog

Those aren't lies encountered while cruising. Those are lies encountered while "cruising" the internet. On the water, people on boats are seldom critical of others boat and gear choices.

+1 Completely agree. It's only sailing these virtual waters will you hear this kind of lie.


Why go fast, when you can go slow

[Thorne]

I think I see the problem we have. ( and how to fix it )

We just need a translator to truly understand what they mean.

For example:

Question:... Have you ever worked on one of these before..?
Answer :.... Sure, we get those all the time.
Translator:.. Actually my mother told me about one she saw on TV the other day, wow is this thing big......

Question:.. What is the weather forecast?
Answer:.... Winds 10 mph out of the SE, moving to the S after 1m
Translator:.. Somewhere on the planet the wind "Might" blow at 10 mph for a at least a couple of min. and then maybe somewhere totally unconnected with that the wind "Might" blow from the south for a while.' I mean what do I care if it's accurate, I get paid either way.

See how that makes it so easy to understand what they mean....

Here is another one.

Question:... Do you have WIFI?'
Answer:..... Yes we do and you can receive it from any of our slips.
Translator:.. WiFi here is great, everyone who works here watches Netflix ,pretty much 24/7, on our phones, desktops, tablets, since we got it. If your service seems slow, we're sorry that is the best service we can get here, I mean what do you want? ,,, it's free.

Question:... I really need this fixed this month, can you do that?
Answer:.... Well we probably can. We're pretty slammed right now but we'll fit it in.
Translator:.. Since we got the Netflix here we don't actually do a whole lot of actual repairs. However, we will be glad to give you a quote that will make your eyeballs bleed. Actually, we don't "fix" anything anymore, we make more and we can charge you more if we just replace the whole thing with a cheap Chinese knockoff. Takes less time and after all what's the difference?



And I can install a translator for YOU.... just send a bunch of money, and I'll get to it .... uh,,,, Let's see....Uh, I already finished the entire star trek series.. Oh, wait.. Reruns of wheel of fortune are now on youtube...... Hum, that's going to make it tough.... How does October sound?

Great, I will get on that in October of 2018.

[leftbrainstuff]

Originally Posted by a64pilot

I like the Wifi one, truer words have never been spoken.


Sent from my iPad Pro using Cruisers Sailing Forum

+1

Sent from my SM-N900T using Cruisers Sailing Forum mobile app

[Brob2]

Some of these are hilarious, great thread. I think the most common lie since the 60's has been...

'these shoes don't mark', and...

'I never get seasick'.

[knockabout]

cruising boats never go upwind