Making Major Changes To Get You Closer To Your Dream

[scarlet]

Originally Posted by hamburking

You haven't mentioned your budget or the boat you have in mind, but it sounds like you want to buy new. .

no.. we are buying used... too much depreciation...

[scarlet]

Originally Posted by dkroar

Hey there! If you're on Facebook, come join us at WWS - Women Who Sail. You will find a support group who will help you through this angst, and probably some new friends in both your current location, and your new one.

Welcome aboard!

I'm on it!!

[CaptsWife]

Originally Posted by JPA Cate

Scarlet,

In one weekend, Jim and I, and two close friends closed out my house and I moved aboard the sailboat, having sold the home.

It was the house in which I raised my kids, and my first husband had left us, every book, every little gew gaw, had meaning for me. In a very real sense, it was a closing of a door on a way of life that had seen me grow into a responsible adult. Expect it to be feeling loaded. It is okay to be feeling both joyous because you guys are making a new beginning, that's the keep you eye on the goal part, and to also be emotion laden, because the old life was meaningful, too, and there was a lot of love in it and it is the end of that.

Ask your Lt. Colonel boy person to help you with the work of shucking off the shell--sort of like butterflies coming out of a chrysalis. Two determined adults can move a lot of property in a weekend. Also, every single thing you take to a thrift shop, is something someone else is going to use. The income tax deduction for charitable donations applies, using what they will use as the selling price. Plus, it is morally correct to recycle what is usable.

Save and store, or bring with you only what you need, some of those items you do move may be ones of particular emotional significance, and you don't "need" them; but at least for me, there was a little that was so associated with my own sense of self, that I have had them with me through 2 boats... Honor your heart's desire. Maybe a yard sale, but it is very effort intensive for what you'll get out of it. Jim did it with his house, I did not, with mine. There are other CF threads about this, Jim and I did the storage locker bit. I view it as a poor decision, now, but we are still maintaining it.

Finally, I'm wishing you good success with your new plan, and your future cruising plans.

Ann

Great story. Great advice.

[alansmith]

"when one door closes another will soon open." Or something like that.

Isn't it incredible how much stuff we accumulate?

I am assuming that the new job offers medical benefits. One of the things about transferring to a new place is something to be deeply considered.

1. you are leaving a known job and that management system. I am sure, as messed up as our gov't can get around budget passing filibusters, that the monies will be coming back. We can't play with that hot potato too long.
2. You are moving to a new area. What if your husband detests his new management team?
3. What is plan C if this new job is intolerable? Have you shot yourselves in the foot by leaving military life prematurely?

I think that decisions like this our gut wrenching for a reason. I like the idea of pick a direction and head that way.

Personally, trying to do too much too quickly can really cause people to make poor financial long term decisions. If you stay in the military and ride out this cash starved period it will stabilize in short time. Then you have time to divest. Many articles on CF about this subject of transition period.

Me...i would ride it out there. I would also buy a small condo ....maybe even overseas...for my land base. You are going to survive this .....it is like the saying, "i don't mind dying...i just don't want to be there when it happens." That is your situation right now. You don't mind the change so much as you mind all the crap you have to wade through to get to the other side. Best of luck..Keep us posted and let us CF know u r alright and what you ended up doing.

[Stu Jackson]

A year & a half ago we moved from San Francisco, where we'd lived since 1978 to Vancouver Island, to support my 96 year old father-in-law. We went through the "STUFF" thing big time. We simply don't have room here for "our" stuff, since it's his house.

The "stuff" thing is very important, and many have mentioned it. We had an estate sale, got little out of it. But at least it got rid of the BIG (physical) stuff that we didn't have to handle. Recycled a lot. We do have a storage locker still down there, mostly books, rugs and my train set!

What do I miss? Our good pots&pans and our dinner wear - my f-i-l's dinner ware is soooooooo bad... And my trains!

But I have a new place to sail, even though there are seasons here and I can only sail half the time I did. But I got to sail my boat up the coast, too.

Sorry about the govt shutdown. I'll refrain from any politics. But this, too, shall pass.

Very good advice here. Go for it, like eating an elephant: one bite at at time.

Good luck.

[DeepCut]

You are on the right track. Downsize with a "definite" date to be on the boat.

I lived in South Carolina for 13 years and lots of great people there. I have some friends in Sumter and other Low Country areas. You will make friends fast.

First things first. Choose wisely... Either Clemson or University Of South Carolina... either Orange or Garnett.... Throw out any color in your wardrobe which resembles garnett... White okay, purple good, but ORANGE is what you want to wear.

Good luck getting on with your dreams.

s/v Sea Tiger (Draped in lots of Orange!)

[calin1967]

Hey Scarlett,

I read your post two times and I did not manage to identify a single problem... ina way or another you are on the right track to do what you dreamed for, which is so far away from 99% of us. Be happy for that! And if you need encouragement, take a beer in a pub where corporate people hang out after the job, listen to their talks and try to imagine their lives.

[scarlet]

So, an update... After lots of discussions.. (and, me being type "A"... putting together charts, graphs.. pro's cons... doing complete financial analysis, etc.. lol) We have decided to:

1. take the job
2. have him take temporary housing whilst we are waiting for the military to decide his fate.
3. I will stay here for a couple of months... working on the final projects to get the house ready for sale, and working on downsizing
4. if he gets the waiver for an extension in the military, he will have enough experience in SC, and in his new job (which is on Shaw AFB) to decide if it is worth it to return to the military or not... or, if he loves his new job so much that he wants to stay.
5. once that period comes.. I will sell the house...

We feel pretty good about it. I will be sad to leave here as we've been her for 20 years.. I'll be sad to leave our neighbors and friends... and I will be sad to leave our yacht club as these people have been amazing. BUT, I'm excited about exploring a new area... being only an hour or so from the ocean, making new friends, and moving closer to our dream. We will have 2 years of this... and then we are done, and will live a very comfortable life (financially) as well as the adventure of cruising and living on the boat of our dreams...

I feel much less anxious, and I really appreciate ALL of the advice.

[tomrealest]

Originally Posted by scarlet

So, an update... After lots of discussions.. (and, me being type "A"... putting together charts, graphs.. pro's cons... doing complete financial analysis, etc.. lol) We have decided to:

1. take the job
2. have him take temporary housing whilst we are waiting for the military to decide his fate.
3. I will stay here for a couple of months... working on the final projects to get the house ready for sale, and working on downsizing
4. if he gets the waiver for an extension in the military, he will have enough experience in SC, and in his new job (which is on Shaw AFB) to decide if it is worth it to return to the military or not... or, if he loves his new job so much that he wants to stay.
5. once that period comes.. I will sell the house...

We feel pretty good about it. I will be sad to leave here as we've been her for 20 years.. I'll be sad to leave our neighbors and friends... and I will be sad to leave our yacht club as these people have been amazing. BUT, I'm excited about exploring a new area... being only an hour or so from the ocean, making new friends, and moving closer to our dream. We will have 2 years of this... and then we are done, and will live a very comfortable life (financially) as well as the adventure of cruising and living on the boat of our dreams...

I feel much less anxious, and I really appreciate ALL of the advice.

GREAT Plan. Now EXECUTE!

[Gadagirl]

Lists, plenty of long lists!

Buy 1, just one note book with divider sections perhaps. I say that because I have 5 note books floating about with different lists and it's disorganized. One place to write and all is there. Buy one with pockets to keep receipts and quotes. Break it down room to room. Pack it up, clear it out, make repairs, paint etc. , then move to next. Real estate agent are a great source for contractors, especially if you've signed a contract with one! Their contractors low ball prices to you and then get a kick back from agent when the house is sold. As said, if you can afford, hire an estate sale agent. Donate, give away as much as you can. Habitat for humanity, Goodwill, local churches and homeless shelters, etc. Things you can't use will be appreciated by someone.

[gamayun]

Scarlet, how exciting and it sounds like things are already looking up! Downsizing is a big emotional hurdle that others have posted about here. Check them out if you haven't already. When I lived in Arlington, VA, I took a consulting job in California that didn't really require me to be there very often. But when I was there, I absolutely fell in love with it and when I got back on one of the trips, I asked my housemate if she could find another place to live (this was mid-December - I felt like a real cad). She said, "give me two weeks to see what I can find." By the end of January, I drove cross country with my dog, kayak, bike, clothes and some office stuff. Everything else had been sold or given away, even 14 banana boxes of books, which were the hardest to let go. Just accept that all the anxiety is normal. Stay focused on immediate tasks. Don't get bogged down thinking about all the potential future outcomes, just know you will deal with them later (though some of them might disappear on their own). Get a small sailboat when you get to SC and join a nearby yacht club. I am sure you'll love it there!!

[scarlet]

[QUOTE=gamayun;2560532 Get a small sailboat when you get to SC and join a nearby yacht club. I am sure you'll love it there!![/QUOTE]

We have a little sailboat (22'), and we are/were planning on sailing on lake Marion, which would only be about 20 minutes away... but, it seems like it is only really a pontoon/kayak/fishing lake. Since the lake was made by a dam, I guess they didn't clear the area (which is HUGE).. so, I don't know how easy it would be for sailboats. maybe we will take the boat down to Georgetown? there is a protected bay there.. but it's pretty far to go sailing regularly...

[BernBruce]

I started downsizing last fall. In our town we have many facebook pages for sale and bidding wars. Every day I listed 10 items, and noticed some I got nothing for, and some overpaid. I made 1600.00 dollars in 4 weeks and donated it to lepers.!! When I put something up for sale, I asked myself if I could afford to replace it, and there was my answer whether or not to let go. The best part was the customers came to my door to pick the items up, and if I was busy or out I left the item on my front step and they put the money in my mailbox. I know others who have moved that have done the same thing. Take time to pray and your life will be awesome!

[scarlet]

I wanted to give everyone an update:

My husband took the job in South Carolina, then about 4 days after he accepted their offer, he got a different offer at Fort Leavenworth, Kansas. It was his dream job, and WAY more money. So, he withdrew his acceptance for SC, and we are now headed to Kansas where we expect to be for the next 2+ years.

That's the good news... here is the shocking part of the story (at least for me):

We are currently packing up half of our house. We have a new rental) home in Leavenworth, which we are moving into, but we still have our home in St. Louis, of which we won't put up on the market until May. I need to have enough things in here to live part time, and to be able to "stage" it for sale, that's why only 1/2 of our belongings are being packed.

After 2 1/2 years of "downsizing"(including 3 huge garage sales, donations, consignments, craigslist, etc)... the first 1/2 of our move is requiring a 26' moving truck!!! ( our second move should be about the same size as the vast majority of our furniture will go in the second move). We have a small (1300 square ft house) with no basement, and a 2 car garage... We are not pack rats, or hoarders. My cupboards in the kitchen are half empty from downsizing... Our huge built into cabinets in our den, are only 15% full (electronic equipment, CD's etc.. ) We have 20+ built in cabinets in our large laundry room and only a few of them have anything in them. We do have lots of clothes, but half of those are staying here for the time being. We have lots of wall hangings, and framed photos...which take up several boxes.My house is not cluttered, and my "horizontals" aren't full. (I'm the kind of person that has a large coffee table with nothing on it but a single beautiful bowl on it.. ) I don't have lots of kitchen gadgets, or appliances.. my kitchen countertop is 80% empty... But, STILL!! It amazes me how much we still have!

The packing doesn't bother me.. it is a lot of work, but it's ok. But, the amount of stuff!! oh my gosh.. it is completely overwhelming. I honestly thought That I had gotten way out in front of this. UGH!!

I truly am stunned.. and shocked.. and overwhelmed. I see another big garage sale (or 2) in my near future.

[JPA Cate]

Scarlet,

Before Jim and i left to go cruising, we each had a house. Honestly, when you're getting ready to go cruising, it is really convenient to take the boat out in stormy weather, and practice sailing, setting the storm jib, heaving to, (a tactic to which there are some limitations), and then returning to a regular shower, and having that comforting, hot shower. It is a longer shower than one can afford from one's drinking water tanks on the boat.

Also, it is far easier to prepare a boat for cruising when you are not living aboard it. It has to do with not having to clean up in order to go to bed, and then re- set up for the work in progress, as well as not having to put everything away so as to fix supper.

Ymmv.

I hope this new job works out for your good man.

Ann