Freaked me out

[Papasail]

On a steady (long) path to buying a sailboat.
You know when someone makes you doubt yourself, or the sanity of your dreams? That happened to me yesterday: talking to a guy: “ya know, my brother had a sailboat for years, and (bad, bad, bad), (“ten foot waves are nothing”),(“solo sailor? gonna get yourself killed!”)….

A lot of heavy duty resources can go into buying a sailboat, and what he said freaked me out about it. Tell me it’s less life-threatening than he made it out to be, or that at least the payoff is worth the tough work.

I’ve always been very competent at whatever I do…. very capable. But I just haven’t been on the other side of that fence.

Suggestions? Ideas? He’s stupid? He’s right?

[ThereAndBack]

What do you consider more dangerous:



a) Driving on the roads around your home
b) Large waves


What do you consider more dangerous:



a) Violent crime in city centers
b) Sharks



We can play these games all day. Fear of the unknown is what kills dreams.



Get a boat below your means and go sailing. Stay off a schedule, watch your weather, enjoy it as much as you can. After a little while, you'll know if it is time to invest more or if it really was as bad as your pal told you.

[Chotu]

Originally Posted by Papasail

On a steady (long) path to buying a sailboat.
You know when someone makes you doubt yourself, or the sanity of your dreams? That happened to me yesterday: talking to a guy: “ya know, my brother had a sailboat for years, and (bad, bad, bad), (“ten foot waves are nothing”),(“solo sailor? gonna get yourself killed!”)….

A lot of heavy duty resources can go into buying a sailboat, and what he said freaked me out about it. Tell me it’s less life-threatening than he made it out to be, or that at least the payoff is worth the tough work.

I’ve always been very competent at whatever I do…. very capable. But I just haven’t been on the other side of that fence.

Suggestions? Ideas? He’s stupid? He’s right?

Sounds like you ran into a know nothing know it all with a can't do attitude. I seem to attract lots of these people. Lol

most of these people act like that because they are ashamed and upset that they can’t do the same types of things that you are doing. That they lack the motivation, the mental resources, the wherewithal to do it. in short, he is jealous. Because he lives a very boring life.

you’ll find that actually most people are like this. Most people don’t live very adventurous lives. They are scared to death of everything. That might be a typical of human nature. A bit of a paranoia.

don’t worry about it. He’s trying to get at you. That way he can feel better when you do nothing right alongside him. He won’t feel as bad about himself and his wasted life.

I remember getting my first real boat that I was going cruising on and how many friends I lost because of it.

they all got really upset. I was kind of recently married which meant that I wasn’t going out to the bars with them and stuff like I used to. And when they heard I was going to go off on adventures and things they really got bent out of shape. A lot of people did. My ex and I took a long time to work through why everyone turned on us when we got a boat and went cruising. We had to just assume it’s because they were jealous. Because they were stuck in a loop doing boring things and we decided to do something fun. There was really no other explanation because the boat was the only thing that changed them.

It’s definitely not dangerous. Not even a little. Going ashore is far more dangerous than being on the boat. riding a bicycle. Driving a car. Riding in a car. These things are all statistically significantly more dangerous than being on your boat.

Think of it this way. What boat are you looking at right now? How many years has it been floating? Keep in mind it’s been floating this entire time.

there are definitely a lot of downsides. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not an easy life. It’s difficult. And even if you’re just buying one to take out on the weekend, you’re going to lose a lot of time to maintenance and it’s going to suck at times too. That’s true of all boats no matter how you use them. But those beautiful moments with nature make up for all of it.

So with boats you just have to push ahead and not listen to those people. There are plenty of them after you get your boat as well. They will be all around the marina. Some of them on the forum here. They are all over the place in life. And it doesn’t matter what you do. You could start a business and have the same problem. "You’re going to go bankrupt. No one‘s ever going to buy your thing. My brother lost everything starting his business. Blah blah blah."

[Pete7]

Sailing Yacht Florence has just sailed around the world. A recent comment on their YT channel was that far from often being too much wind, there wasn't enough. They manage on a tiny budget and so accept that often they are just drifting along. Sounds pretty good way of escaping this mad world for a while.

Assuming you live on a big island out west, you can be grateful for really good weather forecasts from multiple sources at least 4 or 5 days out. Blowing a bit of a hooley tomorrow, lets go sight seeing instead.

Advice? buy something you really like in good condition so it has that "look back" factor as you row away After all, its going to be your home, pride and joy.

[chris mac]

Listen to what you just said.
You met a guy, who knew a guy who ...
That alone throws the value of the info way down.
There will always be people like his brother telling horror stories. It helps them justify why they couldn't do it. What you have to decide though, are you going to listen to strangers in a bar, or strangers on the internet.
The best advice I can give is get out sailing. Join others, race, crew, charter, whatever. Listen to what those sailors say and observe what they do. Just like everything else in life, you will find the competent ones, the ones worth listening to. Then you will start hearing the real stories

[tkeithlu]

Chotu speaks with wisdom. I will only add, know your envelope and expand it gently. Don't get pushed into any level of weather, navigation, boat handling etc. that is more than at the edge of your comfort and skill set. Always respect the ocean.

There's the expression "Good judgement comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgement." It's true, but you can make it work for you. Make sure that the worst case scenario is something you have a plan B to accommodate.

Along the way of my learning: I popped a return fuel hose and spilt a very large amount of diesel fuel in the engine room, but every 30 minute engine checks caught it before it was even more of a problem. I got a heavy boat into shallow water, but being able to read waves told me to get the hell out, and which way to go. I had a complete electrical failure, but a paper chart got me home. My envelope got bigger every time.

Have a wonderful career cruising.

[LakeSuperior]

The risk of death and/or significant misery while crossing our oceans should not be minimized. If one looks at the actual numbers to assess the risk I am confident you will find them surprisingly high.

For example, there are always one or two dangerous events like boats lost or crew getting hurt every year during the ARC. This is regarded as a milk run.

[boatpoker]

Big waves, high winds comin' ... Don't go. Crack a book, have a beer, better weather is comin'

[thomm225]

Originally Posted by Papasail

On a steady (long) path to buying a sailboat.
You know when someone makes you doubt yourself, or the sanity of your dreams? That happened to me yesterday: talking to a guy: “ya know, my brother had a sailboat for years, and (bad, bad, bad), (“ten foot waves are nothing”),(“solo sailor? gonna get yourself killed!”)….

A lot of heavy duty resources can go into buying a sailboat, and what he said freaked me out about it. Tell me it’s less life-threatening than he made it out to be, or that at least the payoff is worth the tough work.

I’ve always been very competent at whatever I do…. very capable. But I just haven’t been on the other side of that fence.

Suggestions? Ideas? He’s stupid? He’s right?

First off you don't even have to leave protected waters until you are ready so you can expect 1'-3' waves most times and that means 3' when the wind is up.

As far as heavy duty resources in boat buying that is only if you buy an expensive boat when you don't know boats.

Many find that buying a small, inexpensive boat first until you have a clue about boat buying and sailing is best then move up from there.

You can buy boats all day long from 20' to around 27' for the money that's probably in your checking account like around $1,000 - $6,000

Also be aware folks have sailed across oceans on $1,000 boats of 27' or so

[Starbuck]

“We are plain quiet folk, and I have no use for adventures. Nasty, disturbing, and uncomfortable things.”

—Bilbo Baggins, in The Hobbit, by J. R. R. Tolkien

[wyb2]

Originally Posted by Papasail

…That happened to me yesterday: talking to a guy: “ya know, my brother had a sailboat for years, and (bad, bad, bad), (“ten foot waves are nothing”),(“solo sailor? gonna get yourself killed!”)….

Try riding motorcycles. I run into that same guy once a year or so, except he talks about his other brother that had a bike and got in some horrible accident.

[dlj]

I can't resist...

[Mike OReilly]

By almost any measure, sailing a cruising-level boat is exceedingly safe. If you look at the actual — publicly available — stats on accident rates in the USA you can easily see that it is far more dangerous walking down an urban sidewalk than being on a cruising-level boat.

That’s not to say there aren’t real dangers — there are. And some activities like sailing across oceans can be more dangerous, depending on where and how one does it. But even here, much of the risk can be mitigated by good information and sound judgment.

Unless you’re pushing the cruising edges, this life is very safe.

[singlespeed]

Poor planning and poor maintenance will kill you just as fast on land or the ocean. But city life is only a very poor imitation of what mother nature has to offer. Waking up to clean air and sparkling seas is something not to be missed.

[leecea]

You can make choices as to where you sail that can influence these things. There is less risk in someplace like the Chesapeake Bay than in crossing an ocean.

Single-handing adds risk.

Any activity where you are away from immediate medical care adds risk. Especially if you are alone. This would apply to many other things, not just sailing.

Weather reports are not always accurate.

There are many threads saying essentially that whatever you budgeted for a boat and upkeep, it will be a lot more.

As had been pointed out, we take risks every day. Sometimes we don't think about them, like driving, other times we make decisions to adjust the risk, like wearing or not wearing a helmet, or not going up a ladder if no one else is around. You have to do your best to balance things.