Freaked me out

[Madehn]

Go crew for some short passages-- 5 days or less-- you will quickly find out it is not rocket science. Yes there is a learning curve but it is like anything else, start slow, get with people more experienced, read a few books, go practice some more with experienced people-- you will find that as you gain knowledge, fear lessens. slow steady progress.
When i was learning to fly my examiner told me when i got my license- "ok you now have a license to go learn more on your own- take it slow and carefully and you will be fine, when in doubt stay on the ground, it is better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.

that advice served me well as i learned and gradually expanded my skills to be ready for gradually more challenging conditions.

my instructor told me-- never let an airplane take you somewhere that your mind hasnt gotten to 20 minutes before. also good advice for boating

go practice have fun, learn, have more fun
You've got to have a dream to have a dream come true.

[GerryL]

For some reason your provided link isn't working for me. This one works (I think). https://www.amazon.com/Holding-Fast-...ps%2C93&sr=8-1

To the OP, don't let those stories scare you; rather, let them make you aware that there are things to learn and that as with many things, situational awareness is important. I'm not saying this as an experienced ocean sailor; I sail a small Montgomery 17 on inland waters. I have however been through decades of motorcycle riding, airplane flying, and paraglider flying. When I started paragliding I heard those stories (and truth be told, there is risk there. I've lost 3 friends in the sport). We are all going to die someday though, so don't let that fear stop you. The key is to learn the risks you will face and learn to manage them.

My wife and I are both interested in moving up to a larger boat for New England coastal sailing, primarily Maine. We did take a week long live aboard and sail Maine class, which was great. Our issue is finding a boat we want at the price we want. Not that I want a steal of a deal, but I don't want to pay what I consider a premium price for a 40 year old boat that has had deferred maintenance. We looked at a few in the last year, and we keep running into chainplate and standing rigging questions. I'm not comfortable with the owner saying it's been fine, should be good to go for a while. LOL We'll see what happens, not in a big rush. I just retired a few years early and my wife is working one more year. The pandemic also seemed to push prices. But I've gone off topic. Live so that you have no regrets in the final days when you can't do these things!

Originally Posted by Susanjc

In the late 1990s, my husband and I took our seven-year-old daughter from our stable, happy suburban Connecticut lives and careers, and followed his lifelong dream to sail away. We met a lot of people like the guy you mentioned! Our experience was almost solely on Long Island Sound, nothing offshore. I was terrified and didn't want to go. We wound up getting experienced help on our offshore runs. By the end of our three year voyage, I (well, all of us) were different people; while my husband was away, I handled the boat during Hurricane Mitch in Guatemala, something I would never have imagined at the start of the voyage. My husband is gone now, and I wouldn't have traded our sailing adventures for anything. I wrote a book about it that came out last year, Holding Fast: A Memoir of Sailing, Love, and Loss.

[Goodxcharly]

There is lots of hot air out there Just waiting to derail you from your dreams as they don’t have any. Man on a short leash a lot of the times.

There will be another one down the road.

Carry on!

[A CheeseHead]

I'd been doing what I thought was a fair amount of sailing (learning on a Tech dinghy, then racing them in a college sailing club, then racing an M-20 (a sort of inland lakes scow), and decided I wanted to learn about big boats. So I hitched down to St. Petersburg in February and sorta thumbed my way through the SORC (in the early 70s).

I became friends with a professional skipper on a custom 58-footer and, while admiring the boat, said I hoped one day to own something like it, though smaller. He responded with the best advice ever: boats are built by rich fools, for poor wise men to enjoy.

It is now 50+ years later, over 10,000 miles racing offshore, a transatlantic passage and a decade's worth of cruising ... and still no boat. I took his advice, kept sailing.

[BlueH2Obound]

You can chose to learn from those who succeed, or you can chose to learn from those who fail. Your friend's brother/friend is one of the latter. If you want to succeed, chose the former and ignore the latter.

[siamese]

With all the information out there, books, internet, direct observation, I'm mystified by your reaction to one person's erroneous opinion.

I can tell you that my sailboat couldn't leave the dock if I wasn't resolute about making it happen. The list of things that can stand in your way is a long one, and you need to continually educate yourself and have a get it done attitude if you're going to sail well and safely.

If you get freaked out and derailed by one nitwit, you may be overdue for some introspection and self evaluation. Without an I'm going to make it happen attitude, sailing may not be for you.

[skipgundlach]

With apologies if this is a duplication; I lived and cruised aboard, yard time included, for 16 years.

In that time I had nervous-making experiences a few times. One included a red-helicopter ride wreck (which we put more fiberglass on and went cruising).

Much will depend on your tolerance for adventure. It's easy to stay out of harm's way if you never leave the harbor - which is entirely ok if that's what you want to do.

But the bottom line is that you have to go out and do stuff to have any realistic concept of what to expect.

I suggest you join SSCA.org if you're serious about anything other than mere harbor sailing; there's a world of experience there, including those who've gone around more than once, single handing, in anything from tiny to 50'+ boats.

All the rest of the suggestions from those who've been there, done that are valid as well. Illigitimi Carborundum!

(Don't let the bastards wear you down!)

L8R

Grounded (sold her) Pig...

[Amapola]

Poor planning can put you in dangerous situations. That said, some situations are unavoidable but if you plan well, they are few and far between.

[lestersails]

To the OP - I think the answer is "it depends". One thing I have been impressed with out on the water and in reading CF is that boaters command a disproportionate share of common sense. They have the ability to be a keen observer and to be able to integrate those observations into sound judgements and decisions. People who have that skill set tend to underestimate its power (they take it for granted) and find it hard to believe that others can be utterly lacking in both. I know plenty of people who get confused thinking about which way to turn a screwdriver, have zero concept of Force = mass * acceleration, and couldn't point north on a sunny day if their life depended on it. Sailing would be a very, very dangerous thing for that person to engage in. Look hard at yourself - your strengths and weaknesses - and figure out if you have the attributes that are needed. I am not talking about sophisticated sail trim and the intricacies of diesel repair here - basic personality attributes like intuitive mechanical senses, where you are in space, problem solving abilities, and your tolerance for risk. If those are long suits, you will love it. If you got none of those things, your friend is right.

[Ryban]

Originally Posted by wyb2

Try riding motorcycles. I run into that same guy once a year or so, except he talks about his other brother that had a bike and got in some horrible accident.

I rode a motorcycle to work almost every day before I left to sail on a 27-foot boat. My family never batted an eye about that. Never brought up that they were concerned about it. But, for almost every day I was sailing, they were convinced I was going to die.

When I came back I never rode a motorcycle again, and I probably never will. There are absolutely risks sailing off shore, or even in an anchorage, but at least you're living your dream and having an adventure. On the other hand, increasing my risk of dying during my morning commute isn't a good trade.

[MicHughV]

One doesn't become an "instant" sailor...there is a long learning curve involved.

I look back on my own sailing life. My first few years were festooned with mishaps, close calls, whoopsies, mistakes, judgement errors, ignorance.......did I miss anything ?

I never attended any sailing school..but I did go thru' the "school of hard knocks"

Each mishap was a stepping stone in the right direction.

I yearned to go sailing to far off places...that was my ultimate goal...that was my driving passion to pick me up every time I fell down.

But, not everyone has the bug like I did...some people try it....don't like it...and move on....that's ok too..

[Cynara]

10 foot waves 2 seconds apart can be bad. 20 second apart you won't notice them.

I didn't single hand, except for a few times, because I liked sharing the experience with someone else

The worst weather we were in the wind was blowing 60+ knots. By then we had10 years experience on the same boat. Was it scary? No. Was it comfortable? No.

[rossdv8]

Before you let people who don't know and don;t care, put you off an adventure, Do a little reading about:


Robin Lee Graham,
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robin_Lee_Graham


Tania Aebi,
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tania_Aebi



Jessica Watson
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jessica_Watson


Preferably, read the books they published, and if you can find them, the movies: The Dove, Maiden Voyage (Girl at Sea) and True Spirit



and look at the size of the yachts, and in some cases limited experience.


These people were all told they were crazy by at least one person, bu they each had a dream. And two of them set off in boats less than thirty feet on around the world trips.


You know the saying about "It's not the size of the dog in the fight . . ."



It is about learning your boat's limits, and acknowledging your own.


I've only sailed coastal, and I've often been stuck on a 26 foot yacht in 4 metre breaking waves.


Some of us have only sailed coastal and lived aboard 'when we could'. But even that can be an adventure.


Buy a yacht that is sound.
It doesn't always matter if a yacht need a lot of repairs, provided the important bits are in good condition.

- The more things you have to fix, the more things you know you won't 'have to fix unexpectedly'.
- and the more you will know about your boat.


Just make sure it is priced accordingly.
It doesn't matter how much stuff you fix or replace - there is always something else waiting to break. That's sailing. Or for that matter, any other sport. Try owning an aeroplane !! Or racing any sort of car.
Or owning a horse. A never ending round of vet bills, feed, tack repairs . .


It matters not what sport you choose, there are risks and consequences.
I've lost more good friends to horse riding accidents, that I ever lost to sailing.


So don't be freaked out.

You have a lot of people on this forum who have done the round the world thing, some of them on a shoestring. Others sail towards different horizons.

[Centreboard2017]

I think on balance you would regret not following your dreams far more than getting that boat and experiencing it all for yourself. So my advice is go for it if that is what your gut tells you.

[MVDarlin]

Look up the term "gas lighting" be smart, learn your limits and trust yourself based in past accomplishments.