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Old 21-03-2020, 08:06   #31
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Re: finding a life partner.

Knots, How big is your boat?
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Old 21-03-2020, 08:16   #32
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Re: finding a life partner.

Jim is so right. The best match-ups among singles are among single handers who meet, make a match and decide to make it legal.
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Old 21-03-2020, 08:23   #33
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Re: finding a life partner.

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Originally Posted by Audrey55 View Post
Knots, How big is your boat?
Knots, you may have a live one if they are already asking how big your "vessel" is!!!
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Old 21-03-2020, 09:45   #34
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Re: finding a life partner.

Anyone who is Single, Be Careful who you take home this week-end. You may end up with them for Fortnight...Although this could actually be "A Cunning Plan"...
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Old 21-03-2020, 10:17   #35
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Re: finding a life partner.

I don't use this site much except to read threads that interest me. I keep telling my girlfriends on dating site, learn to sail and enjoy it and you will find a man. They don't listen. Used to worry about me getting on boat with man I'd not met. No longer. Message me if you would like further conversation.
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Old 21-03-2020, 10:26   #36
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Re: finding a life partner.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Knots View Post
I changed the picture . can you delete your response?
Oh, that's a lot better: Man with snake, looking for woman!

I think it is hard to convert a landlubber into a sailor. Sometimes it works, but often its, "My wife does not like sailing."

So I'd say, stop looking for a partner and focus on being in the community where sailors hang out. Sailing on boats, racing with a crew, going to yacht club functions, sailing seminars. Be around people all the time. Be a nice guy and don't hit on everyone who looks good to you. A girl friend will come along, and it may be a woman sailor who would be interested in a sailing lifestyle. That gives better odds of lasting.
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Old 21-03-2020, 13:26   #37
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Re: finding a life partner.

There seems to be a strong thread of people who truly believe that there is a "soul mate" for everybody........ frankly I don't accept this as a "given". From what I've seen and experienced, relationships begin with "butterflies" and inflated expectations, but in the end they involve a LOT of work and compromise, a lot of effort and determination for most of us. Men and women are fundamentally incomparable outside the bedroom for the most part. Different goals and priorities that need to be negotiated early on, and if they are not, and we assume, the inevitable result is disaster. The compliant and submissive partner... usually the woman, will one day wake up, and all hell will break loose. The entire process of "falling in love" is hormone driven for most people....... reason and intellect need to be the drivers. What do you have to offer each other to meed fundamental needs. A few voyaging couples seem "welded", but many do no last long term.

I personally find breakups so brutally difficult that it has a major effect on my willingness to start new relationships.......Sad but it is a fact. The single life is "easy" except for the times when you desperately want to share your joys and sorrows with a partner, or simply hold someone through the night.. I'm answerable to nobody, but that's a hollow satisfaction. It also means that nobody really will mourn my loss when I vanish...........



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Old 21-03-2020, 13:50   #38
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Re: finding a life partner.

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Originally Posted by Audrey55 View Post
Knots, How big is your boat?
I am still looking for a boat,
and a Gall.
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Old 21-03-2020, 15:01   #39
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Re: finding a life partner.

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Originally Posted by owly View Post
There seems to be a strong thread of people who truly believe that there is a "soul mate" for everybody........ frankly I don't accept this as a "given". From what I've seen and experienced, relationships begin with "butterflies" and inflated expectations, but in the end they involve a LOT of work and compromise, a lot of effort and determination for most of us. Men and women are fundamentally incomparable outside the bedroom for the most part. Different goals and priorities that need to be negotiated early on, and if they are not, and we assume, the inevitable result is disaster. The compliant and submissive partner... usually the woman, will one day wake up, and all hell will break loose. The entire process of "falling in love" is hormone driven for most people....... reason and intellect need to be the drivers. What do you have to offer each other to meed fundamental needs. A few voyaging couples seem "welded", but many do no last long term.

I personally find breakups so brutally difficult that it has a major effect on my willingness to start new relationships.......Sad but it is a fact. The single life is "easy" except for the times when you desperately want to share your joys and sorrows with a partner, or simply hold someone through the night.. I'm answerable to nobody, but that's a hollow satisfaction. It also means that nobody really will mourn my loss when I vanish...........

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Old 22-03-2020, 00:11   #40
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Re: finding a life partner.

Owly it sounds like you have been burnt a few times. I must have got lucky but I never have found the last 25 years with the wife a lot of work and compromise. I suppose at the start I was honest about what I would not compromise on (Boats, books and sex). The rest I was fairly open to, which is the key to succes. Besides any work is well outweighed by the reward.
Kids can really throw a spanner in the works and thats when you really find out who you have married.
Knots you might be better finding a partner first before you buy a boat. That way you can find a boat you both like? I already owned our first yacht before I met the wife and she never felt like it was hers.
BVImatelot I like your thinking, but it could end up a Tinder date from hell.
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Old 22-03-2020, 00:35   #41
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Re: finding a life partner.

Quote:
Originally Posted by owly View Post
There seems to be a strong thread of people who truly believe that there is a "soul mate" for everybody........ frankly I don't accept this as a "given". From what I've seen and experienced, relationships begin with "butterflies" and inflated expectations, but in the end they involve a LOT of work and compromise, a lot of effort and determination for most of us. Men and women are fundamentally incomparable outside the bedroom for the most part. Different goals and priorities that need to be negotiated early on, and if they are not, and we assume, the inevitable result is disaster. The compliant and submissive partner... usually the woman, will one day wake up, and all hell will break loose. The entire process of "falling in love" is hormone driven for most people....... reason and intellect need to be the drivers. What do you have to offer each other to meed fundamental needs. A few voyaging couples seem "welded", but many do no last long term.

I personally find breakups so brutally difficult that it has a major effect on my willingness to start new relationships.......Sad but it is a fact. The single life is "easy" except for the times when you desperately want to share your joys and sorrows with a partner, or simply hold someone through the night.. I'm answerable to nobody, but that's a hollow satisfaction. It also means that nobody really will mourn my loss when I vanish...........



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I concur with everything you said. After a few hard breakups, I quit. As much as I would love to have someone to share the good times (and bad times) with, and hold thru the night, it's not in the cards to search for someone. Especially at my age. I do whatever I want, whenever I want. Some would say it's selfish, but I don't see it that way. Never cheated on a woman, can't say the same about them. My lady friends say I have a lot to offer, but I'm broken and I know it. And like you, when I'm gone, ehh....
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Old 22-03-2020, 05:55   #42
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Re: finding a life partner.

Hi, My name is Brian. 63 yrs. single male recent retired from Colorado. have a boat in Texas. needs a few light repairs. eventually intending to sail to Florida and passages South. Wanting to meet like minded sailing partner/ friend and more!
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Old 22-03-2020, 06:57   #43
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Re: finding a life partner.

Quote:
Originally Posted by owly View Post
There seems to be a strong thread of people who truly believe that there is a "soul mate" for everybody........ frankly I don't accept this as a "given". From what I've seen and experienced, relationships begin with "butterflies" and inflated expectations, but in the end they involve a LOT of work and compromise, a lot of effort and determination for most of us. Men and women are fundamentally incomparable outside the bedroom for the most part. Different goals and priorities that need to be negotiated early on, and if they are not, and we assume, the inevitable result is disaster. The compliant and submissive partner... usually the woman, will one day wake up, and all hell will break loose. The entire process of "falling in love" is hormone driven for most people....... reason and intellect need to be the drivers. What do you have to offer each other to meed fundamental needs. A few voyaging couples seem "welded", but many do no last long term.

I personally find breakups so brutally difficult that it has a major effect on my willingness to start new relationships.......Sad but it is a fact. The single life is "easy" except for the times when you desperately want to share your joys and sorrows with a partner, or simply hold someone through the night.. I'm answerable to nobody, but that's a hollow satisfaction. It also means that nobody really will mourn my loss when I vanish...........



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Well said, Owly.
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Old 22-03-2020, 06:59   #44
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Re: finding a life partner.

No close mate ?? , what can a person do ?

That is a very individual situation, and I believe strongly that you need to find someone who has the some of the same interests that you possess.

All we can suggest is what we personally have practiced .

* Stay fit, active and positive.
* Treat every one with respect
* Join and be active in a club or organization that you have an interest .
Lots to chose from: Sailing Club, Yacht Club, Fitness Center, Gym, Hiking,
Skiing, Books, SCUBA, Flying, Travel etc, makes no difference what it is, but
having an active interest in something and being able to share those fun times together makes a difference.

* Get out and be active yourself, and meet people, and be able to carry on a
conversation on many different subjects and true experiences.
* I have never relied on an electronic device of any kind to meet ladies . Here in
southern california , it is a veritable fox farm, Always has been. Fining the right one, is what counts.
__________________________________________________ __________________

I needed a woman who was self sufficient, smart, educated, good human values, and who was adventurous for a long time mate. There were plenty of great and wonderful ladies , and the super right one, came along.

I believe in that tree of life, and taking paths along those many limbs and branches that we venture out on, brings us to where we are in life. No effort, and sitting around texting and swipping, is not my personal life style. Many others think quite differently.

End game:

Through a sailing club, I met lots of ladies, but one of them, who was an excellent sailor was in my Coastal Piloting Class...that turned into dating, We wound up sharing a fantastic 36 years of life's adventures. Land , sea and air.

Sailing Southern Calif waters, Bare boating The Caribbean , Australia, the South Pacific,
Ireland and Greece. She was already a Sky Diver, and Scuba Diver, and I became PADI open water certified, first dives the Great Barrier Reef and Coral Sea.. she is also a skiier, but I do not do cold.

I also was a professional pilot, so Erica came flying with me, and became a private and aerobatic pilot.

We both work out 5 days a week, and also do a lot of hiking. We also travel on eco land trips world wide, and share good times out socially and enjoy meeting people.

36 years now, and going strong, and staying active, and sharing all aspects of life from the adventures to the daily and weekly chores . We are a happy team.

Those fabulous 36 years occurred because of joining that sailing club, where I wound up working as an instructor and USCG charter capt.

For us, it is very important, having similar interests, values, and a quest for real adventure that we can share together.

So, just this one man's opinion on life, others have different ideas , it is all an individual choice, and what different paths we have chose in life.

And, neither of us were born with silver spoons. It took work, and dedication , education , experience, and fun to put us where we are today.
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Old 22-03-2020, 08:42   #45
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Re: finding a life partner.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fore and Aft View Post
Owly it sounds like you have been burnt a few times. I must have got lucky but I never have found the last 25 years with the wife a lot of work and compromise. I suppose at the start I was honest about what I would not compromise on (Boats, books and sex). The rest I was fairly open to, which is the key to succes. Besides any work is well outweighed by the reward.
Kids can really throw a spanner in the works and thats when you really find out who you have married.
Knots you might be better finding a partner first before you buy a boat. That way you can find a boat you both like? I already owned our first yacht before I met the wife and she never felt like it was hers.
BVImatelot I like your thinking, but it could end up a Tinder date from hell.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...post-jail.html
Cheers

"Burnt" is not an appropriate word here...... it takes two to tango, and burnt implies attributing "fault" to the other party......In my case at least, I'm realistic enough to acknowledge that this is neither appropriate, realistic, or fair. There has been no "burning" in any of my relationships, no infidelity, no cruelty or malice........ Things have just not worked out.... I've never looked at it otherwise......... I accept "fault" where it is due, and I'm reluctant to place it on others. “Judge not lest ye be judged" Matthew 7:1 is probably the most important and most ignored passage in the Bible......... I'm not a religious man by the way..... but this is a rule to live by just as the golden rule is.
The American Rule: Do unto others lest they first do unto you...



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