Convincing wife to liveaboard?

[sailorboy1]

Originally Posted by Kenomac

I think it would take more than just a few potted plants for the OP's wife to overlook a hand pump head, cold shower, cold cereal for breakfast and bilge odor.

'Just a hunch.

It would take more than cold beer for [B]me[B] to overlook a boat like that. And that's serious issue.

[Sea Dreaming]

I get pretty annoyed with all the gross generalizations about what women want.
Sure, I know there are indeed women who want a high maintenance, materialist life style. But I dont know any at all that are as fussy as some of these comments suggest.
Certainly none who will break without a daily hot shower.
Maybe its the women I know. Maybe I ignore the spoiled fussy women...but I think more men think women want more luxury than they really do. We give child birth for goodess sakes! We deal with poop, vomit, lice, failed science projects and snot on a regular basis!

Ps...if your bilge stinks and you cant think of anything to eat besides cold cereal you have other issues. These things are just symptoms not causes of why a woman might not want to live on your boat.

[Cadence]

I think you a pissing into the wind if trying to convince her. Maybe enticing would be a better approach. Some people are cut out for it and some aren't come hell of high water.

I would guess you may need to decide which is most important to you.

I am not judging I left a wife that would not relo for my job op..

[vjm]

Originally Posted by Sea Dreaming

I get pretty annoyed with all the gross generalizations about what women want.
Sure, I know there are indeed women who want a high maintenance, materialist life style. But I dont know any at all that are as fussy as some of these comments suggest.
Certainly none who will break without a daily hot shower.
Maybe its the women I know. Maybe I ignore the spoiled fussy women...but I think more men think women want more luxury than they really do. We give child birth for goodess sakes! We deal with poop, vomit, lice, failed science projects and snot on a regular basis!

Ps...if your bilge stinks and you cant think of anything to eat besides cold cereal you have other issues. These things are just symptoms not causes of why a woman might not want to live on your boat.

Truth. Thank you so much for saying that.

[Kenomac]

Originally Posted by Sea Dreaming

I get pretty annoyed with all the gross generalizations about what women want.
Sure, I know there are indeed women who want a high maintenance, materialist life style. But I dont know any at all that are as fussy as some of these comments suggest.
Certainly none who will break without a daily hot shower.
Maybe its the women I know. Maybe I ignore the spoiled fussy women...but I think more men think women want more luxury than they really do. We give child birth for goodess sakes! We deal with poop, vomit, lice, failed science projects and snot on a regular basis!

Ps...if your bilge stinks and you cant think of anything to eat besides cold cereal you have other issues. These things are just symptoms not causes of why a woman might not want to live on your boat.

And maybe that's why you're still "Sea Dreaming."



And I'm not.

We are two people living on a boat in mutual agreement over the amenities. Neither of us needing to compromise or be talked into camping or a lifestyle change.

[oldragbaggers]

I don't fit the mold most are describing here as I am a woman who loves the life and wanted it just as much as my husband from the very beginning. I have known lots of live aboard and cruising women over the years. I don't much care for generalizations as they are often not accurate, and can never be universally applied to everyone, but I have noticed a pattern in personality type among the live aboard and cruising women I have known, particularly the ones that are truly contented on smaller, more minimalist boats. In general, and this applies to myself as well, your woman that will be content aboard a smaller, simpler boat with fewer amenities is going to be the girl that was your classic tomboy growing up, and is already a more outdoorsy type. If your wife is a camper, backpacker, hiker, cyclist, basically someone who doesn't mind getting dirty, sweating a little, being uncomfortable for the sake of accomplishing something that she considers challenging, then (assuming she likes the water in the first place) she will probably thrive in this environment. But if she is very high maintenance, goes into a panic when she breaks a nail, wouldn't make a trip to the mailbox without full makeup (I actually have known women like that), considers shopping her favorite recreational pastime, you might be in trouble if you can't afford something large, comfortable, tons of storage, and with all the modern conveniences.

Of course there are lots of women and lots of boats in between those two extremes, and only you know exactly where you think your wife falls on the spectrum. And there are also occassionally women who only discover their inner tomboy once they become exposed to the life. That's where other things come into play, like love of travel, and discovering the benefits of not being a slave to all the possessions and bills that come with them. What makes some people suitable to this life and some people not is a complex issue.

I do think, however, that rather than having your information come from a lot of single men who haven't managed to find a woman they can make the cruising life work with, a better source of information would be women who are cruising or living aboard and actually love it. Find out what makes them tick, why they like it, what keeps them going when it gets uncomfortable. The Women Who Sail page on Facebook may be helpful, although personally it was too much for me. There are other Facebook pages with lots of cruising women on them I like more. With all due respect to all of you CF guys, some of you just don't give us girls enough credit.

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[Lepke]

"Now what?
Problem is, Im serious.
Wife dream. Remodel the house into her dream home. Have me continue to work 12 hours a day till I die to pay for it.
My dream, Sail the world. Not work 12 hour days till I die."

I've said it before, you have 2 choices, live your dream or live your wife's dream.Unless you believe in reincarnation, this is it. The only life you will have.

As to work, the old folks homes are full of women with rings on most of their fingers. One for every man they worked into an early grave or ripped off in the courts.

[vjm]

Originally Posted by oldragbaggers

I don't fit the mold most are describing here as I am a woman who loves the life and wanted it just as much as my husband from the very beginning. . .

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Really well said, and excellent advice.

[Stu Jackson]

Originally Posted by Lepke

I've said it before, you have 2 choices, live your dream or live your wife's dream.Unless you believe in reincarnation, this is it. The only life you will have.

This seems to indicate that perhaps you selected the wrong person as a partner.

Doesn't anybody "vet" their spouses anymore?

Hell, how'd ya meet them to begin with? In their bar or nail salon?

[The Garbone]

Originally Posted by landlockedsquid

WOOPS!! Well, I already screwed up then. I basically told my wife the same thing.
Now what?
Problem is, Im serious.
Wife dream. Remodel the house into her dream home. Have me continue to work 12 hours a day till I die to pay for it.
My dream, Sail the world. Not work 12 hour days till I die.

I let mine pick the boat and named it after her.

Mine really wanted a beach condo.. $$$ I found a nice slip for the boat 2 blocks from the beach and she is happy now. Told her if it gets too miserable we can put in a Marine AC unit. Slip rent is much less than the condo fee and no Mortgage.


Thankfully mine also likes to sail and the boat in general. Now that she can stop over to the beach after a morning of sailing, bonus. 6.8 years until we go full time.

[Sea Dreaming]

Nope. Just putting in a couple more months. Then Jim (yeah a man wants me) and I are on our boat full time in the Sea of Cortez as a start. I might be on the ocean but Ill never stop dreaming of the sea.

[Kenomac]

Originally Posted by Sea Dreaming

Nope. Just putting in a couple more months. Then Jim (yeah a man wants me) and I are on our boat full time in the Sea of Cortez as a start. I might be on the ocean but Ill never stop dreaming of the sea.

Good for you, you're on the home stretch. .

The best of luck, you'll love the lifestyle.

[Sea Dreaming]

Originally Posted by Kenomac

And maybe that's why you're still "Sea Dreaming."



And I'm not.

We are two people living on a boat in mutual agreement over the amenities. Neither of us needing to compromise or be talked into camping or a lifestyle change.

No need to get personal. All of us started with a dream. You just happened to get there first. Good for you! But we are both posting on the same forum. Seems we have something in common.

[Kenomac]

Originally Posted by Sea Dreaming

No need to get personal. All of us started with a dream. You just happened to get there first. Good for you! But we are both posting on the same forum. Seems we have something in common.

We sure do!

[TrentePieds]

Years ago I kept Old English Mastiffs. Quite remarkable beasts. The first one I had sat down on the sidewalk one day when I had spoken to her like I used to speak to my childhood's German Shepherd. "We Mastiffs", said the Zipper-dog (so named for her phlegmatic deportment), "don't take ORDERS. We WILL entertain suggestions. If they are politely made!" Reminded me of MySaintedMother. "We Danes", she would say, "don't chew gum (or whatever it was that displeased her)"

So henceforth the Zipper would receive a request, then think about it for 15 or 20 seconds, then decide that the request had merit, and comply. Sometimes the wait could be excruciating :-)

The next OEM was also a bitch, but with a different cut of jib. She didn't like showing in the ring, but in other respects she could be a show-off. So we developed a game, and she bought into it 100% The two of us would be going along the sidewalk, with the little Shi-zhu the mastiff kept for a pet on the other side of me. Coming to a crosswalk I would sing out: "Canine Division, l-e-e-e-f-t WHEEL....Halt!" and on my bringing my foot down in the stomp Canadian drill calls for, the dogs would sit. And there we were, at attention, by the kerb. When the traffic stopped we'd be off "Canine Division, by the c-e-n-t-r-e, q-u-i-c-k MARCH!"

While I had those two dogs, people in town just loved that performance.

And the moral of the tale is that the DOGS thot it was fun. Lotsa smooches, lots a treats came their way.

I keep saying dogs are the best people in the world :-)

Now, MyBeloved has spent her entire career in ECE among infants and toddlers. Not in any manner reminiscent of the sea-faring frame of reference. If I forget myself, and actually give her an order, she "does a Zipper" - sits down and becomes inert. Part of my job as skipper of TrentePieds is to make it fun for MyBeloved to be aboard, just as it was my job as the "handler" of the dogs to make our walks fun for them :-)

TrentePieds