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Old 12-03-2017, 12:20   #31
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Re: Biggest argument while cruising

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Originally Posted by crawdaddy282 View Post
So my wife and I are planning to leave on a great loop cruise. BUT I think we may deviate from a one year cruise to a longer cruise. My wife wants a plan of when/where we wil be at times.
How do you plan a trip like this? Do I need to know I will be in the gulf by such and such date? I know we cannot go north by a certain date, but planning this far out seems to be tough for me to articulate.- because I kinda of want to maybe keep going. How do you do it and have you argued about destinations or dates? How far out should we plan? We will sell/rent the home and obviously have a live aboard boat...
No one asked why she wants a rigid schedule? Is there a way to accommodate her wishes and not put you guys under stress or in danger? Letting her set the agenda is also a perfect idea. I'll assume she's flexible enough to change plans if it's dangerous to head off in a storm.
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Old 12-03-2017, 13:59   #32
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Re: Biggest argument while cruising

Again I appreciate the responses. Maybe argument was too harsh a word- more like discussions. We are member of the GLCA and they do have everything pretty well mapped out. She just wants to know when and where, which as others point out is not always exactly how it works. I was just curious if there was something else I was missing for planning... I guess I'll just get online and put together a power point presentation of different stops and areas we don't want to miss, then narrow it down to weeks from there. We have done some weekly excursions on our boat, so we do have some idea what being stuck waiting for weather is like. Thanks again!
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Old 12-03-2017, 14:01   #33
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Re: Biggest argument while cruising

Well lets make a plan for her on a shopping trip .I dont know if it is true but my brother who knows these things tells me that women in melbourne often visit 5 shopping centres in one day .Reliable economical cars great roads why wouldnt you ..who cares about truckies trying to work.. go on your own she will follow as you obviously have for far too long follow YOUR bliss !!! ..Me well thanks for asking STILL single living the dream
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Old 12-03-2017, 15:11   #34
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Re: Biggest argument while cruising

You say you've done some cruising for a week at a time - that's a good start. Does your wife know how to sail? If not, urge her to take on-the-water sailing lessons from an experienced teacher. I believe that's critical, especially as it appears that it will be just the two of you aboard most of the time. Having a shipmate who is a functioning sailor is essential, as you will surely need that second reasoned opinion on a regular basis. Her good understanding of the why's and wherefore's will make those planning changes easier to take on both sides.

It's such a great opportunity, why risk spoiling it before you even get on the water?

Fair winds!
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Old 12-03-2017, 15:59   #35
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Re: Biggest argument while cruising

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You might also dig a little deeper....why does she feel she needs this detailed plan?
Yes, why?
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Old 12-03-2017, 16:16   #36
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Re: Biggest argument while cruising

FWIW, I am also a very detail-oriented person. I like to know the answers to where/when/how, etc. I am a black and white person. Grey in my life causes me great distress. Of course, we all know there is much grey in our lives. LOL.

Sailing has taught me much about the need to relax and enjoy the moment. Is it sunny? Do we have wind? Any kind of wind? Yep, let's sail. No direction in mind for day sails. Just whichever the wind takes us. And that's fine for day sails.

With an agenda? There can be no set agenda. There can be a goal, yes, but that's it, no agenda. Sailing is not like a programmed trip with an itinerary. And I'll admit, sometimes I'm disappointed.

Is it hard for someone like me to adjust? You betcha! But it can happen. Try to relax. I'm sure your wife will also understand once you embark on your adventure.
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Old 12-03-2017, 16:26   #37
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Re: Biggest argument while cruising

I will ask the seemingly benign question "What is the plan" anytime I want to actually communicate and be involved in the decision making process.

I will ask the question anytime I feel the person in charge is waffling, not confidant, forgetting or omitting significant matters or not actually planning.

I will aggressively interrogate unending until I am satisfied a functional workable plan exists, and is communicated.

If I am involved in planning, I do not need to ask, because I know.

When I encounter resistance or evasiveness to my interest in the plan, I overcome that resistance or bring everything to a halt until I am satisfied.

Once at sea, I do not question the Captain, even if it seems counter intuitive.

A detailed schedule can easily be ruined by a simple mechanical issue. (this is not exclusive to boats)

If you cannot clearly and easily communicate your plan, your plan sucks.
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Old 12-03-2017, 16:50   #38
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Re: Biggest argument while cruising

Anyone insisting on a tight planned timetable for cruising does not understand cruising. It has definite potential for trouble. Novices don't understand how weather dependant, and how thinks come up that are enjoyable.

(Similarly, many novices just don't get it that a yacht does not work like a car, for example, when berthing. They are not used to the wind blowing their car out of its park)

With some people who have been close to me, on certain matters, my attempted explanations just never sink in. Never. No matter how many times we go over it. There's a mental block. Seen this in couples too - one is explaining something to the other, and they just never agree.

Then, after a third party makes the explanation .... well it's as if they are hearing it for the first time, and they own it as if it was their idea. Objective achieved!

If you need a suggestion, mine would be to suggest your wife (and you) go on some kind of short course on weather and voyage planning, or gets a book on it, or has a meal with some expert at the local cruising club.
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Old 12-03-2017, 17:23   #39
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Re: Biggest argument while cruising

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You can tell everyone where to meet you
You can tell everyone when to meet you

But not When and Where!!!
Heisenberg Uncertainty Principal: you can know where with certainty but not when or when but not where.
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Old 12-03-2017, 19:53   #40
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Re: Biggest argument while cruising

Just make sure you take turns deciding the places to visit at the stops along the way, I bet your wife has some particular interests that she will want to include along the voyage?

We visited friends on a canal barge in France, and they had a book detailing our area of the canal, with "touristical destinations", and all of us aboard picked something to see. We did not in fact see everything everyone had chosen, because some things took longer than anticipated, but we all felt included and had a wonderful time. The same principle would apply to the Loop.

With sailing, if you're not flexible about destination, you will find yourselves motor-sailing to make distances on your day's runs. Generally, using the boat like a motorboat. If you like that, no worries. But, if you plan to sail, I would plan short day's runs, so you can enjoy the flat water sailing.

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Old 14-03-2017, 19:35   #41
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Re: Biggest argument while cruising

I took my wife to the great loop Cruisers association meeting. They have 4-5 weekend get togethers a year. She was reserved about the whole thing. She found great comfort and encouragement with all the experienced women there. Great bunch of people well organized information. She is all fired up to go now. Check them out. A great resource.
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Old 15-03-2017, 01:22   #42
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Re: Biggest argument while cruising

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You are going to spend a few thousand dollars on this trip. If your potential guests expect you to be at a certain port on a certain day so they can save a couple hundred dollars on their airfare, they aren't worth having as guests. You might be able to give them an approximate date before the trip begins and then give them 30 days or so notice while cruising so they can book their tickets but you still can't control the weather or mechanical problems. I've read stories and books about the Great Loop. Sometime these people talked about being held up at locks for a day or more.

It's your cruise, not theirs. Plan accordingly.

We once heard someone say yea we have people come visit and sail with us and they can pick either the port or the day but they can not pick both -
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Old 15-03-2017, 01:37   #43
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Re: Biggest argument while cruising

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Again I appreciate the responses. Maybe argument was too harsh a word- more like discussions. We are member of the GLCA and they do have everything pretty well mapped out. She just wants to know when and where, which as others point out is not always exactly how it works. I was just curious if there was something else I was missing for planning... I guess I'll just get online and put together a power point presentation of different stops and areas we don't want to miss, then narrow it down to weeks from there. We have done some weekly excursions on our boat, so we do have some idea what being stuck waiting for weather is like. Thanks again!
going back to my original posting - we do set out a plan of ports to visit and things to see and we use OpenCPN (not power point) - we measure distances, ports, anchorages, interesting things along the way - before we set sail we have a detailed plan but once underway that plan changes a lot depending on weather, new sites or disappointments or staying longer here or there or the anchorage was lousy or full and we move on or ect ect -

Last spring before we left for the Black Sea we spent 3 months researching and put ports into OpenCPN and had probably 50 or more in there - it was not just the Black Sea but also the 400nm to get there. We had 2 dates to meet - Russia visa started July 10 and ended 29 days later and we wanted to be out of the Black Sea by the end of Sept or 1st of Oct as the weather changes a lot. - We missed both as weather caused us a 3 day delay getting to Russia and we had to leave 3 days early to miss a major storm rolling across the BS as we had a 350nm sail to Odessa -- AND we did not leave the BS until very late Oct as when we got to Varna Bulgaria there was going to be a Tall Ship Regatta coming in with 300' tall ships from a lot of different countries so we sat for a number of days to see them and wow was it worth it but we paid the price in bad weather that set in and we had to run between fronts and we did not get back to our winter home until November - a month later than plan
as for the ports of call we made about 40 as some times the sailing was so good we skipped a port to make the next one -

BY ALL MEANS make a plan and use some charting software like OpenCPN and put in the potential ports but not the dates but say you want to be in the Eire Canal by about this time and be out of the Great Lakes by this time and if you miss by a bit so be it - just work with the weather
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Old 16-03-2017, 12:36   #44
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Re: Biggest argument while cruising

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...She just wants to know when and where, which as others point out is not always exactly how it works. I was just curious if there was something else I was missing for planning...
Not sure if this will help, but it will at least give you one couples perspective.

We planned a year long trip starting out from Harwich Port, MA (where we had left our boat after our 1 month trip) and heading South. We had all the charts necessary down to the Florida Keys. We spent a few weeks working our way down each chart. First, we decided how far we wanted to travel each day (time) before anchoring for the night. If we couldn't find what looked like a good area to anchor, we would look for a marina or failing that would backtrack until we could find a good anchorage. In many areas, we also looked for and noted a backup anchorage/marina (paid off at least twice)... We did that all the way to the Keys! No, no, seriously we did.

Then our trip started!

We got to Harwichport and found our boat had been VERY poorly taken care of (a story for another day) suffice it to say it took us a couple of weeks before we could head out. So right off the bat, the schedule was shot... but not really, having laid everything out, all we had to do was shift the dates.

We headed out and got slammed by Nor'easters - more delays!

Hung out in Northport Longisland for a few days waiting for the weather to pass, then anchored in Sandy Hook, NJ for our overnight run down the NJ coast (no anchorages and no marinas because of our draft)

We made it to Cape May and loved it, so hung out for about a week enjoying everything this lovely town has to offer.

Instead of mid-September, it was mid-October by the time we hit the Chesapeake; the 17th to be exact. We spent a ton of time in Annapolis and were in Portsmouth VA, Christmas day when we decided to leave Rocinante for a few days and went home to NJ to suprise our family!

We loved Charleston, so we spent almost a month there!

This process continued all the way down to the Florida Keys... every day we followed our original plan, but the decision of when to stop & when to leave was dictated by wind, tide and desire!

For example, on our way to Fernandina Beach, we were running a bit behind and reached a particular bridge after the tide had gotten a bit too high for our comfort; we have a 64' mast and this was a 65' bridge clearance!

So we dropped anchor, had lunch, read a bit and waited for the tide to change. Obviously by that time, there was no way we would reach Fernandina Beach by nightfall, so we opted to stop at Jekyll Island instead. You already know how that ended - we loved it and spent a week exploring the island!

Bottom line; by having a rather detailed route plan, we always had a good handle on when we would be in a particular place. Now this is key! We knew, relative to where we were, not relative to when we started the trip!

So, we knew we'd be in St. Augustine 1 day after we left Jekyll Island... the fact that it was in March instead of the previous November was another story!

Do not let any plan, schedule, etc. dictate your actions - we've seen far too many people get ino dire trouble because they "had to" head out that day...

Enjoy and be safe!
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Old 16-03-2017, 13:02   #45
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Re: Biggest argument while cruising

We made plans for our last two cruises. They didn't resemble the actual events at all.
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