Are Liveaboards Stupid ?

[fitness4mind]

Hello everybody, and thanks for accepting me to join the Community .

I don't think liveaboards are stupid, maybe just a little different. In the 90's, when I was in my early 20's, I lived aboard a 7 meters sailboat during summertime, on the Danube close to the Danube Delta, and that was one of my happiest period. I think I was lucky enough to grow up "on the water" - my father was a fisherman, and when I was kid, he took me with him on the water on every possible occasion.

My actual dilemma is very similar to the Nostrodamus's one: now in my late 30's, being married and having a 4 y.o. daughter, owning a new house and my own (small) business, I feel "trapped" and want to change my life, by returning to the liveaboard lifestyle. The difference today is the family, and the fact that I have not the same "freshness" as I had in my 20's. Fortunately, my actual job could allow me to take long brakes from shore. Unfortunately, right now my wife can't leave her job, and the kid just started the kindergarten (however we are seeking for alternate education, even home schooling).

My wife also isn't very excited about living aboard. She's afraid of the sea, and always says it's preferably to cruise Europe's inland waterways in a small barge, with all the amenities. I prefer instead a cruising sailboat, more economic and versatile, but with a lack of confort regarding my 2 ladies . So currently I don't know how to act, because I don't want to leave my family and cruise singlehanded. On the other hand, I am not very interested in Europe's inland waterways, even sometimes I think this could be more safe and confortable for the whole family.

So I will continue to read about other people's experiences, and I think the time will resolve my dilemma. One thing is for sure for me: liveaboars are not stupid nor crazy, they are only people who love a quieter and unconventional lifestyle .

[Nostrodamus]

To answer a couple of your points the following may help.
My wife has always knownof my love for sailing and being the wonderful women she is agreed to do this. We are relativly new and it is a big ajustment for her although she can also see the benifits. As a family we spend time together and actually talk. The TV is not often on and we are all seeing and being part of other cultures. We have agreed to look at it as an extended holiday for two years and if after that time it is not working then we will all go back but we will be much closer and much wiser. If we are still enjoying it then we carry on. Knowing this she has relaxed totally and is now really enjoying the life and making the best of it.
If you look at a liveaboards education of their children you will often find that they become very well educated in all sorts of ways and are often brighter than someone who has been schooled conventionally. This is partly because you have the time to explain things and if the child does not understand they will say so.
It is also a very, very sociable life as you are always meeting new people with the same outlook.
Believe me it is not a quiet life. If you ever read my blog you will see this and see I have nearly just had my leg amputated.
I hope this helps a little.

[plottie]

Hi Nostradamus

We 'lived onboard' for the summer in Brittany sailing over from Devon each year and dreamed of making it permanent. I am lucky we decided to move to Australia to start cruising full time, then around the world. Here in month 6 of our new life aboard it is warm (30C today!) and I have met more wonderful friends on the water than I could have ever dreamed. Im still learning to sail our new home and not the handiest fixit person so I admit at the beginning it was pretty frustrating and lonely for a woman when cooking and cleaning all in a confined space ruled my day. Then we'd see a turtle, or whales or amazing fish and corals snorkeling, sipping wine on anchor watching the sun go down on another balmy Whitsunday evening and a kind of balance is achieved. It still is not always easy for me, it was my other half's dream and he sold it to me well. I can now see it is a wonderful life.
What I'm trying to pass on to you both is I think I understand the doubt stage your wife is in. If I was doing this "first bit" in colder clime, (like lovely la Rochelle where i do know people and i do speak french) but with no re-assurance and chats with similar cruisers - I doubt I'd be so happy.

My 10c worth of advice would be to get the trades over to the Caribbean asap for some fair weather cruising. Go slow and see all the colder areas after she's hooked.

Ps I also recommend reading women's cruising blogs, never fails to give me perspective
PPS dead jealous of your lovely new oyster home!

[Nostrodamus]

Thank you Plottie,
My wife has red this and it help a lot although she insists it is a good idea to go to the across the pond strait away and is using you to back her up.
Women, you cannot live with them or without them!!!
Who ever gave them fluctuating hormones should be poked in the face with a sharp stick.

[barnakiel]

Liveaboards are like any other group of people - some stupid some wise and the rest in-between.

Remove the wise ones and the stupid ones stop being stupid - it is all in generalisations and comparisons.

Be what you are and live a happy life. If someone calls you stupid that's probably because calling people names makes them feel better than they actually are.

b.

[GordMay]

Greetings and welcome aboard the CF, fitness4mind.

[zeehag]

welcome and remember--we all have boats, so we are NOT normal--we MAKE our norm...... smooth sailing and have fun. if you are not having fun, is just another chore.

[Rakuflames]

Originally Posted by Don1500

"Are liveaboards Stupid?"

That's what everyone (That doesn't) keeps telling me.

Find different people to talk to.

[gonesail]

the nice thing about a boat is that it moves .. hopefully south in the winter and north in the summer

[zeehag]

i wont sail north on west coast. i will sail south on west coast until i find a nice nook to hole up in for a bit then proceed to that lil ditch that crosses central america and transit that to other waters.
that may be stupid, but i doubt it.

[fitness4mind]

@Nostrodamus: thanks for your answer, it helped us in that my wife is reading now very carefully the topic you started, and also other liveaboard topics .

I read from long ago cruisersforum.com , but it's your topic which made me become a forum member and start to discuss about liveaboard issues. I think this way of life is very appropriate for us as a family, because we have a very "outdoor oriented" lifestyle from longtime.
In the past we traveled alot by bicycle, motorcycle, we made mountain hiking and biking, canoeing, camping and weekend sailing in the Danube Delta. So fortunately my wife really likes the unconventional of living on the water, but she's scared by the unrest of the Sea. This is normal yet when one is missing experience.

As about me, being ireversibly captured by the boating hobby since my childhood, I know that I must follow my dream. Like you wisely stated before, rising a kid as a liveaboard will make him brighter than kids the same age. I remember from childhood that I could not mix very well with my generation mates, and I see this at my daughter too. That's why I think many liveaboards have chosen their lifestyle just to avoid melting themselves in the society standards, and the roots of their decision go back in their early childhood.

Some days ago I began to read your website, but like usually I stopped at the boat first . I'm sorry for your accident, and wish you a quick recovery...

@plottie: my wife and I want to thank you for the encouragement. We decided to start next spring, by moving on our current boat and test ourselves. We have the winter for fitting-out the boat for summertime living aboard. (Un)fortunately, boatbuiding and boat repairing is my current job , so I have the skills, tools and materials needed, but somehow I miss the necesarry time (I work at some boats right now).
We will start reading more women's sailing blogs, thanks for your suggestion.

@GordMay: thanks for the warm welcome, and excuse me that I did not (yet) introduce myself in the adequate topic. It's a pleasure to talk to you after reading so much of your postings. The hospitable environment of this forum is the same as the first time I found it. It reminds me of the beginning of the first romanian boating forum, more than 3 years ago, created by a bunch of friends (I was lucky enough to be one of them), united by the wonderfull hobby of boating. Unfortunately, that internet forum lost his "soul" and his valuable members over time. I am happy yet there are still people willing to help others to fulfill their dreams .

@zeehag: thanks for the welcome, and I agree with you, boaters are not "normal" people, in the usual meaning. Fortunately, we (still) live right in the middle of an age when cruising is attainable by anyone interested. For me, it will be a lot of work until I'll launch my dreamboat and start sailing, but I'm happy that I don't live anymore in a communist country, where everything regarding boats and cruising was strictly prohibited...

[44'cruisingcat]

Originally Posted by Nostrodamus

Let me say from the outset we live aboard our boat but are mere babes in arms as we have only being doing so for a year. We didn't have much choice as to buy the boat, retire early and fund the lifestyle we sold our house and all our possessions.

It is coming up to winter and yet again we face the prospects of a confined space, cold mornings, condensation and a host of other nasty’s we have chosen to live with.

Are liveaboards a special breed or are they just stupid?

It makes a lot more sense having a house you can call home and going there over winter with central heating, satellite TV, home delivery, a car and friends?

We are split by this. I love the lifestyle and enjoy almost every minute. My wife just thinks we are stupid. I don’t know who will be proved right in the end!

Snesible liveaboards don't suffer through cold winters. We move into the tropics for winter, and back to the temperate areas in summer. And we get to see more than just a marina while we're doing it.

[captain58sailin]

Welcome to the forum.

[zeehag]

wife prolly thinks stupid because of giving up house and all the material bs that many have addictions to. isnt easy to voluntarily deplete ones self of material goods, but is more rewarding without same. is more satisfying to make ones own stuff or keep something going by self than having house with all handed to ye. is more satisfying to be a part of the scenery than to go out to view that in which i am living. would rather be a part of a living planet than have togo to a planetarium or aquarium to see that in which i reside.

[VirtualVagabond]

Mmmm... Nostrodamus ... and you didn't see this coming???

Might be an idea to change your tag