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Old 20-12-2019, 16:43   #151
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Re: Any early retirees turnerd cruisers with big careers have regrets?

Retired at 55, no bills other than fuel (43' express cruiser), occasional dock fees, and a few $$ for necessities and pleasures of life, with the vehicles, house, and boat paid in full. Unfortunately, the wife loved boating until the day the ring went on. I spend all summer cruising (northeast) with various friends, other than a few days alone, then come ashore for the other three seasons. It's a great life. I've gotten accustomed to the extended periods without her but that's her choice. Now, it takes only about 3-4 days aboard for the mental shift to block stress, worries, problems, and many other land based issues. About once a week or maybe two, I call home to make sure there isn't a cellar full of ashes where the house used to be.
Would I go back working? So the kids can have more inheritance? You're kidding, right?
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Old 20-12-2019, 17:18   #152
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Re: Any early retirees turnerd cruisers with big careers have regrets?

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Retired at 55, no bills other than fuel (43' express cruiser), occasional dock fees, and a few $$ for necessities and pleasures of life, with the vehicles, house, and boat paid in full. Unfortunately, the wife loved boating until the day the ring went on. I spend all summer cruising (northeast) with various friends, other than a few days alone, then come ashore for the other three seasons. It's a great life. I've gotten accustomed to the extended periods without her but that's her choice. Now, it takes only about 3-4 days aboard for the mental shift to block stress, worries, problems, and many other land based issues. About once a week or maybe two, I call home to make sure there isn't a cellar full of ashes where the house used to be.
Would I go back working? So the kids can have more inheritance? You're kidding, right?
I like your attitude regarding "her choice " when it comes to cruising I feel to many men just give up the dream because their partner dosent want to do it. Few decide to go and make it work.

Btw , the reverse applies, I personally believe people need to live the life they want, it's not a gender thing. My partner wants off for a while, not the first time and I'm fine with that BUT she needs to get a job and pay her own way, I dont pay both ends. This seems to work, theres out of the box solutions if one looks.
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Old 20-12-2019, 20:11   #153
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Re: Any early retirees turnerd cruisers with big careers have regrets?

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Originally Posted by Spartanacus View Post
Marital advice only here.
Bot a catamaran at 45 yrs of age - best friend died of cardio failure ... it was a wake up for us. Not intending to retire we sailed the eastern seaboard and Caribbean for two years and then back to work.
Knew nothing about sailing and the week of lessons we were to get from seller melted into an evening and then we were on our own.

Two years later we were salty dogs and this is the boiled down version of rules!
Sail without agenda ... never NEED to be somewhere at a certain time, it could kill you.
Sail in fair winds only ... you will get a few bad days anyway.
I'm a lion, however the wife is a timid soul ... use her as YOUR barometer (don't scare her).
SAIL where you are going (if it's a blow boat) - our mantra: "If it's not blowing we're not going" after all, what is the hurry?
about to give it a go, baby steps the coming two weeks on board with wife, similar dynamic as you describe. very sound advice thanks!
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Old 20-12-2019, 21:04   #154
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Re: Any early retirees turnerd cruisers with big careers have regrets?

If it was your wife writing the question I say "go for it"!
However i have met many a lonely captain who tells the tale "oh, my wife gave me the ultimatum 'its me or its the boat!'.
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Old 20-12-2019, 21:26   #155
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Re: Any early retirees turnerd cruisers with big careers have regrets?

Allow me to share a ďgoing forwardĒ strategy: ask open ended questions.
So ask, what do I need, where do I want to go, how do I want to travel, what kind of health supports do I (we) need, how will I manage income/taxes, what are my interests....I always wanted to....
You might find a rather different course being laid than if you make a series of declarations. Taking the open ended questions approach is far less intense than couples therapy as both can contribute and buy in to a consensus. Both are listening and contributing.
We ultimately decided to retire from our jobs, hospital and university, and pursue a lifestyle that allows a house and a sailing catamaran, a garden and a sailboat. We sail the Northeast in summer, based in the Chesapeake. While tending the garden at our home. Round about October (end of hurricane season and harvest) we prepare to become ďsnowbirdsĒ and make a course for T shirt warmth and island anchorages. Typically wind up back in the Chesapeake about the time for plant sales as well as bottom painting.
You will come up with solutions that work for you. Sail now while you have your health. Compromise to make the experience enjoyable for all involved.
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Old 20-12-2019, 23:36   #156
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Re: Any early retirees turnerd cruisers with big careers have regrets?

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Who would admit such a thing at the the risk of sounding pretentious? Exposing monthly expenses is one thing. Exposing ones portfolio is another thing entirely.

"sounding pretentious or was it only me?
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Old 21-12-2019, 00:28   #157
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Re: Any early retirees turnerd cruisers with big careers have regrets?

Reading all these opinions makes me think of a book to recommend for everyone on here to read. Not saying anyone "needs to read it". Just most on here would enjoy it I think....I know I did!

How to Be Idle: A Loafer's Manifesto

"From the founding editor of The Idler, the celebrated magazine about the freedom and fine art of doing nothing, comes not simply a book, but an antidote to our work-obsessed culture. In How to Be Idle, Tom Hodgkinson presents his learned yet whimsical argument for a new universal standard of living: being happy doing nothing."

https://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Idle-L.../dp/0060779691
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Old 21-12-2019, 01:42   #158
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Re: Any early retirees turnerd cruisers with big careers have regrets?

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So with that, anybody regret going, regret walking away from a gig that you enjoyed. Any marital tips for the cruisers to be?

Also, I understand this is the internet and people like to say shitty things, but I've interacted with some great people on this forum and legitimately looking for people who have blazed the trail before us and what they might be able to share.
I did that at 50.
Had my dream career. Would have done it for nothing, bank account in 7 digits and growing fast.

Then my working class parents died within weeks of each other and I was reminded that I had become totally engrossed in my work and the complicated lifestyle and often sureal world of working with the rich and famous.

It was a crossroads moment for me, where I could ride the wave, or paddle in a different direction in order to rediscover my roots and simple self.

I chose the latter, found a deeper happiness within myself and with my true love.

While I sometimes look back wistfully at those missed opportunities of catching a great wave, I have no doubt that I made the right decision for me!

I'm now more into the dry fly-fishing moments of sailing and maintaining our own boat. Enjoying the subtle back flows and eddies of our Life. without any need to be looking over my shoulder.

Listen to yourself and if you do close that door. Do it firmly and walk on with confidence that you will find a better one to open.
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Old 21-12-2019, 02:27   #159
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Re: Any early retirees turnerd cruisers with big careers have regrets?

Thanks Theo.


Offer gone in on boat - 8 month old Amel 50 ( you and your Amel 50 build thread got me hooked) so hopefully know in the next week.



Looking forward to living on board full time worrying about completely different things (as someone once said - changes in latitudes changes in attitudes).



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Kevin,

I'm sorry for your loss. I can understand how important and emotional this crossing must be for you. We've communicated before, and I know you're looking for your next boat. I hope you've found it.

On a different note, it turns out I'll be sailing solo next season too... Life's full of surprises.
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Old 21-12-2019, 05:43   #160
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Re: Any early retirees turnerd cruisers with big careers have regrets?

If you have to ask....
Retirement is a big deal. If you donít absolutely, for sure KNOW itís time... I wouldnít.
You can work remotely you say...3 months out. Do that first. Do that for a bit, see how that works. If you have to opportunity to ease into it, why not take it?
I had a great gig and a wonderful career and when I retired I knew for sure it was time. Now I work remotely, doing something else, and itís part time on my own schedule. It provides structure to the day. Just because you have formally retired doesnít mean you canít do something else. But.. if you donít absolutely know itís time, wait till it is. My opinion, only.
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Old 21-12-2019, 05:52   #161
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Re: Any early retirees turnerd cruisers with big careers have regrets?

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If you have to ask....
Retirement is a big deal. If you donít absolutely, for sure KNOW itís time... I wouldnít.
You can work remotely you say...3 months out. Do that first. Do that for a bit, see how that works. If you have to opportunity to ease into it, why not take it?
I had a great gig and a wonderful career and when I retired I knew for sure it was time. Now I work remotely, doing something else, and itís part time on my own schedule. It provides structure to the day. Just because you have formally retired doesnít mean you canít do something else. But.. if you donít absolutely know itís time, wait till it is. My opinion, only.
I find it interesting that some need paid work to have structure, or external pressures like customers to have structure.

Cruising can provide structure if that's what one wants.

Not making a right or wrong judgement, it just shows how different we are.
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Old 21-12-2019, 05:53   #162
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Re: Any early retirees turnerd cruisers with big careers have regrets?

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The thing that we (probably mostly me) think about is that no time is guaranteed and the intensity of the experience is amazing when we are on our adventures...I wonder that even though things are so cushy and great now, we may not have the chance later from a health perspective even though we are in great shape now.
Well... that's really what it all comes down to, isn't it?

The one thing in life we cannot control - time. What do you want to be doing with it? What will you look back on in your final moments and regret not doing?

You have described a great life and if you're perfectly happy don't change a thing - but you're also here asking which make one think something is missing and you're not 100% happy... so why not mix things up and see? (hint. you can always go back).

Sounds like we left a decade or so earlier than you (we were still in that very stressful stage and started to think I might not survive it if something didn't change), but also left with less security and less backup plan.
Have we regretted a single second of it. NO.


At some point it just hit us that the dollars and the stuff we bought with them, and even the comfort that they afforded just didn't matter.
We were seeking something more, something different, something that made us feel ALIVE... and living nomadically, sailing/cruising certainly fits the bill!

We miss the people back home, we are amazed at how much work this is daily and often wonder why our brains cant be content by simply relaxing our days away back home on a comfy couch - but we wouldn't change a thing and wake up every day extremely grateful that we made this happen.

But the only person that can answer whether it's right for you or not is... you.
Which will you regret more in the end? Going and possibly changing your mind later or not going and never knowing??
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Old 21-12-2019, 05:59   #163
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Re: Any early retirees turnerd cruisers with big careers have regrets?

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Originally Posted by daletournier View Post
I find it interesting that some need paid work to have structure, or external pressures like customers to have structure.

Cruising can provide structure if that's what one wants.

Not making a right or wrong judgement, it just shows how different we are.
You are absolutely right! When we are on the boat, I don’t work. On land, I am more inclined and have opportunity to fritter and dribble away money and time. On the boat, somehow, the boat is the structure if that makes sense. You are right though... some don’t need structure and just enjoy the day as it unfolds. Others prefer... a plan! Even if it’s, let’s have a cooked breakfast, then walk to town, then in the afternoon we can look at our navels!
Everyone has to figure it out for themselves and for life on board together.
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Old 21-12-2019, 06:02   #164
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Re: Any early retirees turnerd cruisers with big careers have regrets?

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Well... that's really what it all comes down to, isn't it?

The one thing in life we cannot control - time. What do you want to be doing with it? What will you look back on in your final moments and regret not doing?

You have described a great life and if you're perfectly happy don't change a thing - but you're also here asking which make one think something is missing and you're not 100% happy... so why not mix things up and see? (hint. you can always go back).

Sounds like we left a decade or so earlier than you (we were still in that very stressful stage and started to think I might not survive it if something didn't change), but also left with less security and less backup plan.
Have we regretted a single second of it. NO.


At some point it just hit us that the dollars and the stuff we bought with them, and even the comfort that they afforded just didn't matter.
We were seeking something more, something different, something that made us feel ALIVE... and living nomadically, sailing/cruising certainly fits the bill!

We miss the people back home, we are amazed at how much work this is daily and often wonder why our brains cant be content by simply relaxing our days away back home on a comfy couch - but we wouldn't change a thing and wake up every day extremely grateful that we made this happen.

But the only person that can answer whether it's right for you or not is... you.
Which will you regret more in the end? Going and possibly changing your mind later or not going and never knowing??
We are herd like creatures, I think many dont take the "risk " that you have because the comfort of the herd is is to strong, comfort dosen't necessarily mean one is happy. Personally I saw more risk in doing what the herd does , the same old same old ,day in day out, accumulating more and more etc, I call it "the creeping death of sameness ".

I've been doing this so long that I now wonder if I'm just part of another herd, to comfortable...lol.
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Old 21-12-2019, 06:13   #165
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Take some extended vacations - ie sabbaticals if you can. You will find out soon enough if you can be happy without the job benefits. Always remember too that even if you leave a job for 5 years, you will gain some great perspective while out cruising that can make you even more valuable, especially as consultant when you are done cruising.
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