This is a funny boating story

[knottybuoyz]

and approached Crusty slowly, eyeing him up and down. The columbian man placed his hand on Crusty's thigh and said: "Going my way sailor?" To which Crusty, reeling in horror said: "......

[Rangiroo]

I'm already busy sorry but ole Tosser here might be interested........with that the old columbian looked down to see the dog already biting at Crusty's ankles as if to say "Nuh uh you old windbag...you DIDN'T just do that!!". Crusty roars with laughter and returns his attention to the lusty young wench....Just as he turns back to the girl, another...........

[TaoJones]

. . . voice carries across the room.

"Crusty!" the man shouted over the din in the smoky cantina.

Two pairs of eyes rose to meet those of the advancing Columbian, and smiles spread across the faces of both the old sailor and his faithful dog. "Gabo!" Crusty yelled across the crowded bar, and Tosser was on his feet happily wagging his tail, his hips, and everything else behind his rib cage as the Columbian made his way through the crowd to their table.

Slowly getting to his feet, Crusty rose to his full six feet in time to be enveloped in the Columbian's warm embrace, and Tosser stood on his hind legs and pawed the air with his front feet as if to say, "Hey . . . don't forget about me!"

And, sure enough, Gabriel Garcia Marquez bent down to embrace the dog as well.

Standing again, Marquez looked into the eyes of his old friend, and said, "Crusty, it's been too long, amigo. We haven't seen each other since that time we . . .

were in tht Mexican jail in Cabo. Remember that guard? Jose?...

[TaoJones]

. . . "You mean the one we told not to even think of going to the US to look for work because every building has signs up that say 'Fire Hose'? Oh yeah, we had the poor guy crying. But, remember, he brought us the best . . ."

[knottybuoyz]

"tacos de la carne de la rata". Best damn thing on the menu in Cabo other than the Cabo Wobble which we had to drink in buckets cause the water is........

And the senorita... Man, it was worth a week in that jail. Not sure who was left with the bigger grin, us, her, or the guys at the bar when we stuffed her boyfriend...

[TaoJones]

. . . head-first into the bartender's slop sink! But, yeah, the water in Cabo tasted like rooster piss!"

Gabo thought for a moment, then said, "Mi Amigo, as long as you and Tosser are here in Cartagena, let me take you to see . . .

[Benny]

maria - my fat cousin - she will look after all your needs - Tosser too - but Ole Crusty had cast a weather eye to the young lass who was now arguing with the gay Columbian - suddenly a cat fight erupted over who would win the attention of Crusty and then you wouldn't believe what happened, they...

[knottybuoyz]

heard a Britney Spears tune come on the radio and started lip syncin' and gyratin'. Poor ole' Crusty and poor ole' Tosser near lost their lunch when the Columbian hauled up his shirt to display his hairless chest and nipple rings! (Costume malfunction) *baaaaaarf*. That perdy much put ole Crusty over the edge so he and Tosser headed back to the boat to catch the next tide out. Tosser looked up at Crusty with those wonderin' eyes that said: "Where we off to now ya crusty ole fart?" Crusty said: "Let's go.........

[TaoJones]

. . . through the Ditch, and check out what's happening in Las Islas de Perla."

As they made their way along the waterfront to where the dinghy waited, Tosser's head snapped up, and he caught a familiar scent on the evening breeze. It could only be . . .

[mjt]

the remnant bone of his left foreleg which Crusty had carelessly tossed aside after finding himself short of beans and chili in the Tasman Sea and being a practical man, cut off and roasted that delicious leg in his faithful old kerosene oven. Crusty had made a solemn promise that day...

[knottybuoyz]

that as long as he and Tosser (*the three legged sea dog) (**mean carribean locals often referred to Tosser as "That Tripod Dog") travelled the seven seas that he'd never again resort to loppin' off his best friends leg for dinner! That being said Crusty retrieved the discarded bone and decided to have a proper prostetic made by the local scrimshaw carver. Tosser opted for a nice carving (dogs don't get tattoo's) on his new leg of a .......

[Benny]

Maori Cheiftans image with a monkeys fist knot carved for the foot. This was in honour odf the time when Crusty and Tosser had saved the cheifs daughter during a particularly vicious typoon - the princess had been blown to sea while paddling her dugout canoe across the lagoon and it was Tossers' keen eyes that noticed her. While 40 foot waves towered around them, Crusty and Tosser stood fast on their course to the princess . Suddenly, the event that procured them a beloved stature in the hearts of all Maori's transpired. On the horizon, came a howling, roiling monster of a ...

[vonotto]

Snow storm. Yes the first one seen down here in.....forever. So they battened down everything and lit the stove. But the cold became to much for tosser and it looked like the end for that warm weather dog when suddenly crusty decided he did not care what anyone thought, so he decided to keep tosser warm by.......