The Untitled Story.

[duggybuggy]

I don’t know how this will go, but I wonder if folks would like to trot out a bit of a story, folks just adding a bit when they want to, and just seeing where it goes and how it develops.

Well, I’ll have a bash and kick it off.


An easy elastic elevator swell placed a soft motherly palm gently on Jim’s middle-aged and slumbered brow. He had been awakening for only a lifeless Gibraltar Point minute, surfacing twenty-two miles automatic through a fathom of strong imminent black coffee as fog-later-refreshed-nine-to-ten-consciousness flickered into life within him; poor, falling rapidly.

His only motion was to lift a silent eyelid a tenth of a millimeter, just enough to see the concerned look on his bohemian wife, Caia’s face, as the radio announcer signed off professionally, expertly, and with a final flourish of serious garnish, from the Shipping Forecast, and the national anthem proceeding to signal zero one hundred hours GMT.

[bill352]

Duggy - don't know how much luck you'll have, but I look forward to seeing a long continuation of your story.

You should also (and I say this as a lover of purple prose) consider posting it here:

Contact the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

Explanation:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bulwer...iction_Contest

[duggybuggy]

I totally disagree. Bill. It is very good writing, and dare I say it, yes, better than yours, as you haven't done anything....too anal retentive, to put it blunt. But one gets this kind of veiled thing in life. But good is good. the way Jim surfaces does the trick, in a serious way it does. But I forgive and pity your veiled attempt attempt to for pour silly cold water on it, which makes no difference, and anyone with a brain knows this, whilst naturally feeling a sympathy for your self; as indeed I do. It's not your fault. Well what should I do, allow you to rubbish my good attempts? Silly man. LET US HAVE YOUR CREATIVE WRITING WHICH YOU WRITE TO BE GOOD NOT A MOCKERY. Hmmm, yes. I have a degree in mass mind control. I do not blame you. Everyone knows what you have attempted to do, and I think it is about time you was told. I'm sorry it hurts, Bill, but you can't go around being like you are. Get real. All the very best, no hard feelings, etc.

[duggybuggy]

People are being subliminally trained throughout their lives to spot individualism trying to break out into a better lot. People are trained to keep themselves in line and spot anyone out of line and to put them back into line.

You see this everywhere.

It is the vast amount of numbers which sway people, and the fear of going against the pack.

Thus people hold themselves back.

They laugh at ‘Fawlty Towers’, and do not see the harm nor the ugliness of what they are going along with. Bazil was a good guy, trying his best, hampered by a waiter who he doesn’t sack, or a lazy wife who he doesn’t divorce. Naturally he is struggling and deserves our empathy and respect. But do we see that? No. Yet we would say we are nice and good people.

In my view The Purple Prose is just such a thing, to mock anyone venturing to move forward and discover themselves and maybe get a better quality of life for themselves and others. The fact of the matter, however it is dressed up, The Purple Prose is about mocking. It is based upon the opening line of ‘It was a cold rainy night’, because it isn’t exhibiting particular literary ability. It is to mock, it is to say let’s all have a look at this attempt, lets all laugh at it and watch the writer hurt, and let’s all feel strong and bonded about this what we have just been able to do. They are petrified the spotlight could go on them.Then the whole thing is dressed up and disguised as respecting creative literature. Well, that is my view.

Anyway, I’m moving on. But all the best. I believe people are good essentially, in the main, but they are frustrated and annoyed by forces they cannot see.

[Hanksy]

I was looking forward to this thread

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