I have tried to get onto the affordableboatact.gov site to see what kind of
boat I qualify for but the site is temporarily down
The U.S.
government has just passed a new law called: "The affordable
boat act" declaring that every citizen MUST
purchase a new
boat, by April 2014. These "affordable" boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each. This does not include
taxes, trailers, towing
fees, licensing and
registration fees,
fuel,
docking and
storage fees,
maintenance or
repair costs.
This law has been passed, because until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to
purchase
boats. This new laws ensures that every American can now have a "affordable" boat of their own, because everyone is "entitled" to a new
boat. If you purchase your boat before the end of the year, you will receive 4 "free" life jackets; not including monthly usage fees.
In order to make sure everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400%
per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don't want or can't afford to maintain. But to be fair, people
who can’t afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined and
children (under the age of 26) can use their parents boats to party on until
they turn 27; then they must purchase their own boat.
If you already have a boat, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can't). If you don't want or don't need a boat, you are required to buy
one anyhow. If you refuse to buy one or cant afford one, you will be regularly fined $800 until you purchase one or face imprisonment.
Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert; ghettos; inner cities or areas with no access to lakes are not
exempt. Age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge nor lack of desire are acceptable excuses for not using your boat.
A
government review board (that doesn't know the difference between the port, starboard or stern of a boat) will decide everything,
including; when, where, how often and for what purposes you can use your boat along with how many people can ride your boat and
determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their boat. They will also decide if your boat has out lived its usefulness or if
you must purchase specific accessories,(like a $500 compass) or a newer and more expensive boat.
Those that can afford yachts will be required to do so...its only fair. The government will also decide the name for each boat. Failure to
comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.
Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and their families can obtain boats free, at the expense of
tax payers. Unions, bankers and mega companies with large political affiliations ($$$) are also exempt.