Originally Posted by Scubaseas
So which way does the smoke in the wires travel and how do you put the smoke back in when things stop working? I know you used to be able to get smoke replacement kits but haven't seen them in an while.
Here is presented for your perusal one Lucas Replacement Wiring
Harness Smoke kit, P/N 530433, along with the very rare Churchill Tool 18G548BS adapter tube and metering valve. These kits were supplied surreptitiously to Lucas factory technicians as a trouble-shooting and repair aid for the rectification of chronic electrical
problems on a plethora of British cars. The smoke is metered, through the fuse box, into the circuit which has released it's original smoke until the leak is located and repaired. The affected circuit is then rectified and the replacement smoke re-introduced. An advantage over the cheap
repro smoke kits currently available is the exceptionally rare Churchill metering valve and fuse box adapter. It enables the intrepid and highly skilled British Car Technician to meter the precise amount of genuine Lucas smoke required by the circuit.
Unlike the cheap
, far-eastern replacement DIYsmoke offered by the "usual suppliers", this kit includes a filter to ensure that all the smoke is of consistent size, It has been our experience in our shop that the reproduction Taiwanese smoke is often "lumpy", which will cause excessive resistance in our finely-engineered British harnesses and components. This is often the cause of failure in the repro electrical parts
currently available, causing much consternation and misplaced cursing of the big three suppliers.
ELECTRICAL THEORY BY JOSEPH LUCAS - The Demon of Darkness
Positive ground depends on proper circuit functioning, which is the transmission
of negative ions by retention of the visible spectral manifestation known as "smoke". Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work
. We know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing.
For example, if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery
, prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery
shortly ceases to function. In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical component such as a Lucas voltage regulator
, it will also be observed that the component no longer functions. The logic is elementary and inescapable!
The function of the wiring
harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to another. When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the system, nothing works afterward.
Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some time largely because they consumed large quantities of smoke, requiring very unsightly large wires.
It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and all things British leak. British engines leak oil
, British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk brake systems leak fluid, British tires leak air and British Intelligence leaks
national defense secrets.
Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke. Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.
In conclusion, the basic concept
of electrical energy in the form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical components especially British units manufactured by Joseph Lucas, Ltd.
And remember: "A gentleman does not motor
about after dark."
Joseph Lucas "The Prince of Darkness" 1842-1903