Marriage Savers - do you use them?

[LouK]

'Marriage Savers', appropriately named

[mojoman2]

Yes, we have them and love them. No more shouting back and forth. And they are useful at other time too. For instance, when ascending the mast to work on something they make it so much easier to communicate. I was skeptical until I got them, but I would never be without them now.

[Tetepare]

Originally Posted by thinwater

And have a plan before you start.


Anchoring is an easy one-person job anyway.

True that. Though the admiral pulled up the anchor for the first time and found it to be heavier than it looks.

[RaymondR]

A group of us was yarning on the jetty when a participant remarked of an approaching vessel with wife on bow with boat hook, "This should be good, he panics and is a screamer, and she is a dummy spitter." He started screaming and she threw the boat hook into the water and went below.

In this instance using comms devices would just provide more items readily to hand with which to express displeasure.

[ItDepends]

We have a set of good radio headphones. We never use them for anchoring, because our anchor drill is well practiced so we have virtually no need for verbal communications at all. For docking and anchoring we have our bimini and dodger folded down so visual and audible communications are very easy.

We never use headphones for docking because there is frequently someone ashore helping with lines who needs to hear commands, and we need to hear the shore side crew as well. Headphones would be a serious impediment to communications across the entire team. On a 50 foot sailboat, there is no challenge hearing simple commands from one end of the boat to the other. And again, this is something we are practiced at, so very simple commands cover the need.

Where our headsets are invaluable is when somebody is aloft. That is frequently a repair project, and more complex and nuanced instructions need to be relayed than hand signals or shouted commands can easily convey.

[mark_morwood]

Hand signals and pre-planning is much better than no planning and shouting, but in my experience being able to have a quiet conversation between helm and crew as you approach a dock and adjust the plan as needed is even better. For us, the communication between helm and crew was a conversation, communication between crew and people on the dock was typically simple commands.

[eddy52257]

We have the Eartec headsets and love them. We are on a catana and you can't see the bow very well from the helm. Takes all the stress out of getting the anchor down in the sandy spot.

Additionally, my engine controls are on the starboard helm. We had to parallel park the boat on multiple occasions coming in for fuel, and when I have to do that port side to it really helps for my bride to tell me how far off the boats we are and when we are close enough to the dock. Now if she could just learn to judge distance and not just make it up . . . .

We had a mono for 18 years before the cat, never needed headsets.

[chrisr]

we have friends on monos who swear by their head sets, but i do think they tend to be more needed on catamarans - esp larger ones with single helm

cheers,

[Nicholson58]

Originally Posted by TPG

Just wanted to ask other cat owners if you and your crew use wireless headsets when docking, anchoring, etc. When we had a monohull it was somewhat practical to just shout but not on our cat.

They are great. 58 Camper and Nicholson ketch. They make anchoring and its reverse much easier and less tense. They are battery hogs.

[JPA Cate]

Originally Posted by RaymondR

A group of us was yarning on the jetty when a participant remarked of an approaching vessel with wife on bow with boat hook, "This should be good, he panics and is a screamer, and she is a dummy spitter." He started screaming and she threw the boat hook into the water and went below.

In this instance using comms devices would just provide more items readily to hand with which to express displeasure.

Is the woman a "dummy spitter" (childish at best), or is she someone who purely won't tolerate being shouted at? If it is the latter that is true, I think she's got the axe by the handle, as she should. Lots of people won't crew for screamers myself included. There is no reasonable excuse for shouting: it is offensive, ill mannered, immature, and bothers others. Hearing aids if it is a deafness issue, and walkie-talkies will help that, too, for maneuvering.

Ann

[Jammer]

Originally Posted by JPA Cate

There is no reasonable excuse for shouting: it is offensive, ill mannered, immature, and bothers others

Hmm.


In my Misspent Youth (tm) I spent 17 years married to a woman who thought that shouting always meant anger or aggression. Her family of origin was not particularly nurturing which may have contributed to that. We did not spend much time on boats, and if I had something to say in a noisy environment, I would walk over to her, and speak softly.



In many situations, shouting facilitates communication; people speak loudly to overcome the noise of machinery, or crowd noise, or a storm, or distance, or whatever. I am pleased to say that in more recent years I have been married to a woman who does not see shouting, ipso facto, as anger or aggression.


Nonetheless, I prefer radios.

[RaymondR]

Originally Posted by JPA Cate

Is the woman a "dummy spitter" (childish at best), or is she someone who purely won't tolerate being shouted at? If it is the latter that is true, I think she's got the axe by the handle, as she should. Lots of people won't crew for screamers myself included. There is no reasonable excuse for shouting: it is offensive, ill mannered, immature, and bothers others. Hearing aids if it is a deafness issue, and walkie-talkies will help that, too, for maneuvering.

Ann

A dummy spit is not defined by the objection, rather by the reaction. She threw the boat hook over the side.

[sailjumanji]

Having her winch (electric) me up the main halyard, stop to check the rigging, really nice to talk calmly into headset on when to stop and start again. She needs to be watching winch, not looking up for hand signal! Coming up on a mooring ball, that point at which you can't see the ball anymore from the helm, its nice to have her count down distance so I will know when to stop for her to grab pennant. Having her up top looking forward for shallow water route (Bahamas) ....

[acunningham]

We use them when picking up mooring balls. We don't bother with them in marinas and harbours (when we both know what's happening just by looking) or when anchoring (which I do on my own).

[ranger58sb]

Originally Posted by tamicatana

I would honestly be hesitant to have my ears blocked by these things; might miss some sort of important audible signal

We don't have any trouble hearing "outside" audibles with our SENA headsets: VHF, even quiet discussion from folks on the dock. They're not "muffs" or "plugs" -- don't completely cover or block the ears...

Dunno about all that with Eartecs, though.

-Chris