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Old 17-02-2008, 13:05   #16
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Gunner, I am so sorry it has come to this. It' sad, I had tears in my eyes while reading this thread. I would also urge you not to do anything too quickly. You are probably tired of hearing people tell you this. If you do sell her, I would suggest you hire a broker. You all ready have too much on your plate to deal with.

Good luck to you and your family.
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Old 17-02-2008, 13:56   #17
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I have narrowed the listing down to two brokers. I think a broker is the way to do this after all. I am having second thoughts about selling where my Wife has none. She wants it gone and maybe try to find another fixer-upper. I feel like the wind when it comes to making a decision about the sale of this boat. The idea of selling is not all that new because there is a large profit for us in this boat and now that Amanda is gone our desire to cruise is also gone. I guess the old saying "that no one ever went broke taking a profit" is in play.
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Old 17-02-2008, 14:58   #18
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I agree witht he comments on waiting. But if you are going to do it price her real high. Maybe she won't sell.
Fair Winds,


Between us there was, as I have already said somewhere, the bond of the sea. Besides holding our hearts together through long periods of separation, it had the effect of making us tolerant of each other's yarns -- and even convictions. Heart of Darkness
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Old 17-02-2008, 15:01   #19
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I am so so saddened to learn that you lost your beloved child. Please accept my most profound sympathies from a total stranger.

I don't know that I can do anything for you, but if I can please PM me. I am in the NYC area.

May she rest in peace.

I know the best broker in this area if that is a help.

His name Arthur Karpf. he is at LeCompte, West Harbor Yacht Services. An amazing man, He lost his wife a year ago. All who knew her, miss her.
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Old 20-02-2008, 02:02   #20
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Please wait

Gunner please wait on a decision like this right now. I know its so tough right now, having recently been in such a situation, we wanted to sell the house, but now 6 months down the track we are so glad we didn't for so many reasons. take care and be gentle of yourselves for now.
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Old 20-02-2008, 21:07   #21
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Gunner I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your daughter. Nothing can compare with the pain of losing a child. As mentioned, do take time before making major decisions.

Our family will include you in our prayers.
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Old 20-02-2008, 21:16   #22
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Earlier today I said to my Wife that I felt the I had lost enough and that I did not want to lose the boat too. There is no doubt that we are broken hearted and we don't know what way to turn. I don't know if we will want to use the boat again, but it was my passion until 1-14-2008. It would seem like it would come back to some extent. So like the wind I have changed my mind and plan to keep the boat for now,,, subject to another change in the wind.
Thanks to all that have kept us in your prayers.
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Old 20-02-2008, 21:39   #23
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Originally Posted by irwinsailor View Post
like the wind I have changed my mind and plan to keep the boat for now,,, .
The wind doesnt change its mind. It blows from a different direction because of different atmospheric conditions.

Congratulations on feeling some different conditions in your atmosphere!!!!!! Its the best news all day and I think many on this forum will agree!

Notes on a Circumnavigation.

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Old 20-02-2008, 22:38   #24
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Yes I agree. At least wait a little while longer till the decision is not so emotional and it maybe then that you still want to sell. But at least you will know for sure.

Slightly off this course, but Dawn and I became great friends with a much older and wiser couple. We thought they were in the mid sixties. We had many lovely evenings as they shared their sailing experiances. Then one day quite by shock he announced he had placed the boat on the market. I was stunned and asked why. He replied by saying, well I have just turned 78 and figure it will possibly take a couple of years to sell the boat and by then we will well and truely be wanting to retire from the water. Well as a shock to us all, the boat was sold two days later. They were both shellshocked, but quite happy. Anyway, a year later I run into them walking down the jetty. Turns out he comes down about once every three months for a look around. He hadn't brought the wife before. She looked at the boat and shed a wee tear. It was a part of their life that they had to move on from because of age. Quite sad really. But then the glumness was suddenly broken by him turning and say quite matter of frankly, "What the hell are you cryin about Woman?" It was quite a laugh the way it was said in the occasion. Anyway's, they are quite happy, they bought a small 4WD and now travel around the country seeign all the sites and staying in motels. He thinks that is far better than the boat.

For God so loved the world..........He didn't send a committee.
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Old 21-02-2008, 00:31   #25
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The way it's going Gunner...They're going to start a poll soon if you should or should not sale your boat. I'm sure it would be pages long with lots of interesting comments.
"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming: Wow - what a ride!"
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Old 22-02-2008, 10:33   #26
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I know that I am coming to this very late, but I can only pass along the advise that was given to me when my mother passed on. Anytime there is a disaster in one's life, in the shadow of the event, there is a tendancy to re-examine everything in one's life and to make assumptions about how life will be after living through a devastating loss. Its easy to question every bit of who you are and of course your boat is an easy target for rethinking.

A very caring person suggested to me at the time that I not make any major changes to my life for a year after my mother's passing, and by the same token forgive myself for any mistakes that I may make during that period.

Gunner you have enjoyed your boat for as long as I have known you, and while selling her some day may be the right decision, selling her now can almost only be an acting-out from the pain that you must be living with on a day to day basis.

If you must sell her, then list her with a broker. Boats like yours have such a narrow market of people who can afford them that they are almost impossible to sell on your own. And in the mean time, endulge your energies in getting her ready to launch as soon as the first blush of spring arrives and then sail her, enjoy her, and use her as the santuary from life that she has provided for you over the years.

You may truly decide not to go off cruising, (As I recall you have responsibilities to your Dad as well) but do not make that decision in haste and pain. Make it in considered way and with a plan for what you will do once she has sold.

I understand your impulse to sell your boat as much as any human can understand another person's emotions, but please give yourself some time to regroup and recover.

My deepest sympathies,
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Old 22-02-2008, 11:30   #27
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We wish you nothing but the best and hope the time aboard eases your pain.

God speed and fair winds,

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Old 25-02-2008, 07:52   #28
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Sorry to hear about your loss. I am new on this forum so I was not around when it happened.
I can identify with your feelings. I lost my 25 year old son in October. No matter what anyone says you do not get over it quickly. All I can advise is to remember the great times you had and let the bad ones if there are any go to Davey Jones. there is just too much misery in the world to focus on the bad things.
Have a glass of wine on your first sail this year and toast your Daughter. Remember all the fun you had together and try to move on.
If your Daughter really loved sailing she will be watching over you and your Wife when you are out.
Chin up and fair winds.
Maybe I will see you this summer. I sail out of Muskegon.
We have met the enemy and he is us....Pogo
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Old 25-02-2008, 10:19   #29
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Gunner, I will not advise to sell or not sell. But, if you decide you want the boat sold, go to a broker. If you are still in doubt, put a for sale sign on the boat for the amount that would make you feel OK about parting with her, and in large print write "NON NEGOTIABLE".
If you do make the decision, take a listen to my radio show (The link is on my profile). Look for the interview with Joseph Rogers. There are some good points discussed on why to use a broker, and some of your questions are asked and answered. (I should clarify, those points are why to use a surveyor, but they translate wll to why to use a broker)
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Old 26-02-2008, 18:03   #30
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Just want to add my heartfelt condolences and a few thoughts.

In my business I deal with many, many people. Many have recently lost loved ones, and my beloved Mother died unexpectedly two years ago.

From my experiences and observations, you are going to feel either numb or like there's a raw wound that is easily reopened for at least a few months. Then, thankfully, with time the wound will slowly heal and you will slowly start to feel more normal and a wider range of feelings. There will always be a scar and awareness of your loss, but with time there becomes more time spent appreciating the time you had together, and in most cases, within about 3 years you start to feel more human and like yourself again.

In the meantime, my suggestion is to be very gentle with yourself and your wife, and try to minimize and delay important decisions.

My prayers are with you and your wife.
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