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Old 09-02-2021, 01:28   #1
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Crew, the world and sad, sad evolution...

I am a single hand sailor al lifelong. I have no problem with solitude, nor silence. More likely I am aware of my psychological state I need to train, if taking somebody on board. But in the meantime I am 63 and although my boat is set up for single hand, I would love to have company once in a while. So, I started watching out for company. I have done in this Forum and I have done on other sailor places.

There is experience and experience. First to know, I have been Executive Officer in Multinational Companies and have made career in 3 continents. In this time Ive had companies, which were mixed, female friendly, female unfriendly, male dominant or simply, talent. Me? Ive had 3 marriages and I respected my 3 wifes. My 1st One I almost hit her and I went for psychological treatment and stopped alcohol and drugs (Marijuana/Cocaine) 33 years ago. I felt, if I want to hit my wife (did not) I have a serious problem. Even more, my father taught us all his lifetime, to respect women and I myself find, for some stuff, women have much more talent than we man. But all this knowledge is personal and each and every one has his own opinion, which is good.

On one side I had people, who wanted to come with me who just simple as that, showed to want to have their experience and the experience of the skipper or boat, was no interest to them. So I figured, what I read between the lines of the communications was enough to stay out.
In the case of one guy, he even came to the Marina and after he left the Gas of the Grill running for the hole afternoon, and did not put on the tap of the oil, after I asked for oil change I decided, since I trust him my life during sailing, he was to flawsy for me and let him return home.
Last year I got a couple of requests for sailing with me. Most of them desperate, since the sailing world was shot down and a few people wanted to sail the world during the weekend, so opened their will for Atlantic crossing, Pacific crossing, Circumnavigation. But all of them had to be back home on Monday 8 am.
2 ladies asked which was the get up time, since they were used to sleep till noon and one of them meant, she did not liked cotton sheets. She was used to silk. Since I do not expect Victoria Secret Underwear, she cannot expect silk sheets and so, I responded she probably had to look out for husband N 9, since she always had some kind of "silky" issues.
The latest has been yesterday when asking a young Lady (57) for a picture, since she wanted to sail with me from France to Portugal. Her response was, that she was not up to more, than sailing. So I realized, in today female mind we men are apparently ravaging monsters, when asking how they look. She probably never got it, that I was just asking for a picture by normal human curiosity.

Definitely I have become to understand, that "normal" human behavior and "curiosity" is no issue in today world. We are to find "crew" and women understand "screw" in their brain, the world is probably "internet sailing" and the sad, sad evolution is, that I feel old, tired and definitely have problems of adjustment, to this "crazy, overreacting and digitalized" world. So, I guess I change my plans and go for "single hand" sailing as long as God allows me to do so and then, to sell the boat or scrap it, because it is old but well maintained Ericson E30, but today world want new and fancy looking Jeanneau, Beneteau, Bavaria, Catalina. But no old and well-built cruisers...
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Old 09-02-2021, 11:30   #2
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Re: Crew, the world and sad, sad evolution...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Albinvega27 View Post
But no old and well-built cruisers...
Don't give up. The current virus is making travel very complicated.

There are lots of people who have a very romantic view of sailing as you have pointed out. The reality of sailing on a small boat across the Atlantic is very different. It's more like hiking in a very remote area.

In addition, small boats put people in very close proximity.
That can be challenging for many people.

PS: I'm 66 and I am buying a Bristol 27, so there are still lots of old and well-built cruisers around
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Montreal, QC
Looking forward to sailing on Lake Ontario this summer...
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Old 09-02-2021, 12:35   #3
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Re: Crew, the world and sad, sad evolution...

I think back to the glass half full/glass half empty philosophy. Are you listing what you want, or is this just a list of grievances? Advertising for crew with a list of grievances is like trying to catch flies with vinegar rather than honey.

You may want to take some time to look inward a bit more.
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Old 09-02-2021, 12:41   #4
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Re: Crew, the world and sad, sad evolution...

Gone are the days a girl will sail on a30 ft boat. Here in Guaymas, at the cheap yard, the smallest boat there is a female crew is a 36 footer.
That said.... Best of luck
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Old 09-02-2021, 13:21   #5
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Re: Crew, the world and sad, sad evolution...

They have a tendency of coming into your life when you don't expect it, when you are not on the lookout but content with yourself. So to say, when you are underway and making way happily on your own. My experience. But then, I have been off the market for more than 30 years.
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Old 09-02-2021, 18:26   #6
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Re: Crew, the world and sad, sad evolution...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shrew View Post
I think back to the glass half full/glass half empty philosophy. Are you listing what you want, or is this just a list of grievances? Advertising for crew with a list of grievances is like trying to catch flies with vinegar rather than honey.

You may want to take some time to look inward a bit more.
Sad, if a reflection of something always leads to judgement. I am Psychologist, so probably YOU need the reflection of processing "incoming information". It is not all about "half full/half empty". sometimes it is just what it is...

"Let out and you are free. Keep it in and youll feel its weight all the time...

Btw... there is no such as half full/half empty phylosophy... only in Business Psychology to explain people to stay on the ******** forever smiling...
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Old 10-02-2021, 02:23   #7
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Re: Crew, the world and sad, sad evolution...

Without any disrespect at all but if you have psychological issues you should consult professional help and visit a doctor and not share your life story in an internet forum where no one cares anyway.
No offense, just common sense.
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Old 10-02-2021, 02:53   #8
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Re: Crew, the world and sad, sad evolution...

Just my 2c.

Cruising long term, i.e. longer than an occasional weekend, on anything under 35' or even under 40' the crew must have some kind of prior relationship, be it friendship or romantic. Otherwise it is a recipe for a distater. Can it be done? Sure, just as someone does win the lottery almost weekly. Out of how many millions playing?
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Old 10-02-2021, 09:59   #9
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Re: Crew, the world and sad, sad evolution...

Quote:
Originally Posted by BuddyLove View Post
Without any disrespect at all but if you have psychological issues you should consult professional help and visit a doctor and not share your life story in an internet forum where no one cares anyway.
No offense, just common sense.
Buddy Love was the main male character in the sexual harassment training film we had to watch at Northwest Airlines.
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Old 10-02-2021, 10:27   #10
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Re: Crew, the world and sad, sad evolution...

While it is easy to be discouraged by the current state of affairs, I think there are many people who appreciate an older, well build cruiser. Even on YouTube, I have seen a number of sailors who are out there with their forty or more year old sailboat. Personally, I see as many older boats here in the NYC area as I see newer boats.

There is indeed much to be said for single handing, yet at the same time I greatly enjoy having crew along occasionally. This is even true on smaller vessels. Certainly, the wrong crewman is not good, but I have found that there are plenty of good ones available.

Regardless of what you find, I wish you continued success with your sailing.
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Old 10-02-2021, 10:29   #11
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Re: Crew, the world and sad, sad evolution...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Albinvega27 View Post
It is not all about "half full/half empty".
So true.
The optimist says the glass is half empty.
The pessimist says the glass if half empty.
The realist says the glass is polluted.
The opportunist says while we were discussing what the glass was, I drank it!
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Old 10-02-2021, 10:52   #12
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Re: Crew, the world and sad, sad evolution...

Hey Buddy... some of us care.
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Old 10-02-2021, 11:05   #13
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Re: Crew, the world and sad, sad evolution...

Quote:
Originally Posted by ArmyDaveNY View Post
So true.
The optimist says the glass is half empty.
The pessimist says the glass if half empty.
The realist says the glass is polluted.
The opportunist says while we were discussing what the glass was, I drank it!
The engineer says "the glass can be refilled"
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Old 10-02-2021, 11:07   #14
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Re: Crew, the world and sad, sad evolution...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Albinvega27 View Post
I am a single hand sailor al lifelong. I have no problem with solitude, nor silence. More likely I am aware of my psychological state I need to train, if taking somebody on board. But in the meantime I am 63 and although my boat is set up for single hand, I would love to have company once in a while. So, I started watching out for company. I have done in this Forum and I have done on other sailor places.

There is experience and experience. First to know, I have been Executive Officer in Multinational Companies and have made career in 3 continents. In this time Ive had companies, which were mixed, female friendly, female unfriendly, male dominant or simply, talent. Me? Ive had 3 marriages and I respected my 3 wifes. My 1st One I almost hit her and I went for psychological treatment and stopped alcohol and drugs (Marijuana/Cocaine) 33 years ago. I felt, if I want to hit my wife (did not) I have a serious problem. Even more, my father taught us all his lifetime, to respect women and I myself find, for some stuff, women have much more talent than we man. But all this knowledge is personal and each and every one has his own opinion, which is good.

On one side I had people, who wanted to come with me who just simple as that, showed to want to have their experience and the experience of the skipper or boat, was no interest to them. So I figured, what I read between the lines of the communications was enough to stay out.
In the case of one guy, he even came to the Marina and after he left the Gas of the Grill running for the hole afternoon, and did not put on the tap of the oil, after I asked for oil change I decided, since I trust him my life during sailing, he was to flawsy for me and let him return home.
Last year I got a couple of requests for sailing with me. Most of them desperate, since the sailing world was shot down and a few people wanted to sail the world during the weekend, so opened their will for Atlantic crossing, Pacific crossing, Circumnavigation. But all of them had to be back home on Monday 8 am.
2 ladies asked which was the get up time, since they were used to sleep till noon and one of them meant, she did not liked cotton sheets. She was used to silk. Since I do not expect Victoria Secret Underwear, she cannot expect silk sheets and so, I responded she probably had to look out for husband N 9, since she always had some kind of "silky" issues.
The latest has been yesterday when asking a young Lady (57) for a picture, since she wanted to sail with me from France to Portugal. Her response was, that she was not up to more, than sailing. So I realized, in today female mind we men are apparently ravaging monsters, when asking how they look. She probably never got it, that I was just asking for a picture by normal human curiosity.

Definitely I have become to understand, that "normal" human behavior and "curiosity" is no issue in today world. We are to find "crew" and women understand "screw" in their brain, the world is probably "internet sailing" and the sad, sad evolution is, that I feel old, tired and definitely have problems of adjustment, to this "crazy, overreacting and digitalized" world. So, I guess I change my plans and go for "single hand" sailing as long as God allows me to do so and then, to sell the boat or scrap it, because it is old but well maintained Ericson E30, but today world want new and fancy looking Jeanneau, Beneteau, Bavaria, Catalina. But no old and well-built cruisers...
Thanks for the thoughtful, honest post! One comment: as a male captain, asking a prospective crew - especially female - for a photo may be fraught with peril in this delicate world. I always ask (demand) that crew be 'Height-weight proportionate'. That might also be considered rude, and maybe even sexist/ageist, but you know what? I don't care. The crew doesn't have to be Capt. Slocum, but they must (MUST) be able to handle the sailboat if I kick the bucket at sea.
And that includes the Admiral.
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Old 10-02-2021, 11:31   #15
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Re: Crew, the world and sad, sad evolution...

The business school MBA grad says "That glass is twice as big as it needs to be" lol
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