Time moving on without me sucks

[SV Bacchus]

Not apples to apples comparison but my dad is 91, still mows his own yard, mows the pasture with the big tractor and bush hog, tends to the cows while maintaining his own home as mom passed 5 years ago. Oh, he still drives with no issues.

Me, I'm 65 and have been boating my whole life, mainly in Tampa Bay and the Gulf of Mexico. This is my first year sailing and we did the Bahamas, not all, need to go back for Andros!

Point is, stay active. Inactivity is the start of the decline. If you need some help to stay active, follow some of the suggestions above. I really like the one about finding a kid to mentor.

This has me thinking, I have a spare cabin on our cat. Maybe the wife and I can find someone looking for more long term exposure (like a month or two in the Bahamas) with no expenses except their shore excursions. We could start mentoring young adults now and continue for, hopefully, years. Excellent opportunity to get young people more involved.

[nhschneider]

Our abilities to perform tasks, our memory, our preferences and dislikes, change on their own schedule and often the schedule is different for different people. While some remain physically active into their 90s, others are incapable of simple tasks in their 60s. I encourage people to do what they enjoy when they can.

I know at some point the frustration of not being able to sail as I used to will over-ride the pleasures I receive from getting out on the boat. I hope I will have the grace to accept my limitations without too much regret when I reach that point. Until then, I'm grateful for the mobility and pain-free sailing that continues to call to me.

Fair winds and calm seas.

[TrentePieds]

Olt tsoo soon, schmardt tsoo late :-)!

I'm your senior, and still Sunday-sailing happily. Same displacement and dimensions as yours, but easier to handle because I'm blessedly free of an aft cabin ;-)!

To make up for that, I have a mast-roller-furling main as well as a roller-fulling genny. Pain in the butt. If I had had old-fashioned hank-ons, I'm sure I'd be able to sail ten years longer than I can with the boat as it. But given that I have more fingers left than the number of years I can expect to live, I'm not gonna change that now.

You are doing the right thing, backing off on the strenuous stuff. Spinnaker handling is a thing of the past, but why would a cruising man want to fly one of those things anyway :-)?

Mooring cans you sneak up on and snag when they aren't looking. I let 'em slide down my stbd side, casually lean out over my transom corner, slip a line through the ring and belay it on a cleat before the can even knows what's happening. The joy of an aft-cockpit :-)

Always wear your tether when going forward. Reaction time and balance ain't wot they usta be.

So keep it up!

You can sail till you turn TU, just as long as you'll admit that you don't have the alacrity or strength of youth. Brain beats brawn :-)

TP

[riverrat51]

You are correct about time moving on, have you thought of finding a younger person who knows little about sailing and giving him or her the benefit of your experience and knowledge. A neighbor did that for me years ago and led me to a life loving and being impoverished by boats. Cheers

[CMO Tashina]

Loved reading the many soulful and wonderful responses, especially the idea of inviting crew and starting a new sailing enthusiast on his or her way. I'm 71 and just getting back to sailing after being a land lubber for 23 years. You're either going to stay active doing something you love, or you're going to give up and sit in a rocker or worse yet, a nursing home. This is the better way to go and as long as you know your limits and ask for help as needed, keep your dream and your passion alive and continue to sail as you can. Christa

[ferrailleur]

Great post....
I will be 74 in September and I'm actively looking to buy my FIRST keel boat: a Catalina 27 or an O'Day 28
I feel that I can easily handle those on the Chesapeake Bay.
Sailing keeps you young and active.

[Cadence]

It seem a couple old birds, fitter then I, might strike up a good relationship for sailing?
Ask around locally.

[JPA Cate]

Originally Posted by Rchido

I need some help here. I am 75 and still, mostly solo, day sailing my S2 9.2. Some health issues but nothing extremely limiting. The maintenance is getting to me. This can be a real problem, unless you can afford to hire reliable workers.

I am being a wuss and avoiding the 10-15 k gusting to 20-25k days. The dreams of crossing oceans are just that. Ain’t going to happen. This is one of the tough ones, setting goals that are attainable and also give you necessary pleasure, it's all an experiment, and we just have to keep trying new ways to do what we want. At some time, we'll have to give up sailing, and only you can tell if the things you have to do to still sail take away too much from the pleasure of being on the water.

Snagging a mooring ball solo too often becomes a facebook video. For picking up moorings, you might prefer to do it under power, rather than sailing up to them, and expecting yourself to get the ball up and line secured.

Tacks and jibes I can handle without looking like a Chinese fire drill, if I plan ahead. Otherwise I spend a while sailing in circles. So, you've solved that one, lots of planning ahead, and changing the order in which you do things, to accommodate to your body's changes.

I do not see me giving up my greatest pleasure. Where do I go from here? Smaller boat? What boat? Hang out at the club looking for a ride? Probably save a small fortune in winter storage and routine maintenance. I don’t think I can replace the feeling of being out on the bay just me and Sugaree.

Personally, I would not go to a smaller boat than what you have now. They tend to be more tippy, and if your balance is unsure, it would be more difficult. Above, someone suggested a motor yacht. We've resisted that solution, so far, because - at least for me- there's something magic about the interaction of breeze and sea, and the boat and oneself that I am afraid might go away with the thrum of an engine.

I love the idea possibility of mentoring a youngster, and at 75, most people fall into that category. There are a lot of crew availables here on CF, maybe one of them might suit, another possible experiment for you.

You may not be able to replace the feeling of being on the bay, just you and Sugaree. You may have to settle for finding other ways of finding that tranquility. Possibly a pet? Whether it's a cat or a dog, they can offer really good company, and also a purpose. [We all need meaningful activity.] It might not fit for you, but it helps many people. Some form of volunteer work might do the trick for me, it might work for you, perhaps in a hospice. It really depends on your needs and abilities right now.

None of us knows what the future holds for us, we find out as time winds on.

Fair winds, sir,

Ann, 78, still cruising creakily

PS. There's a thread running now on Sailing and Aging, try a CF Custom Google search, a ways down the menu that drops down when you click on search.

[picklesandjesse]

I'm 74 and have the hardest boat to sail that I've ever owned, a 33ft tri, bit of a mistake to buy this boat but she looked so beautiful. Plan to sell and go back to a monomaran I think. I don't go to a doctor because I don't want to know what's wrong with my health.... if anything. Obviously I have mental issues but that's fun. Run around town with an eclectus parrot on my shoulder. Still fly3D rc aircraft and go surfing. Ride a Honda sportbike like an idiot too.

I see Stanley Paris at 80 is planning to have his 4th attempt at a singlehanded circumnavigation in Nov. I Have a friend who is 92 and was out on his boat 2 days ago, he looks after his 75 year old wife and her daughter and still drives. Guess we're all different.

[GafferMate]

A lot of great supportive suggestions. Love hearing them as I, about to turn 70 and hoping to end my days still dribbling varnish on PILAR’s deck, berthed in a marina (not a remote anchorage) where I can still enjoy my floating home until the last breath, and if I want to sail then I can either (as others have suggested) get crew or go out with them on theirs. As we all realize, there are Changes that are not Choices as we age, so it seems most sensible to me to attempt placing myself in a situation where, even diminished (i.e. no longer freely anchored, remotely) I can live with it being MY decision, not someone else’s. For me, while sailing was lovely, cruising even better, it’s always been just being on a boat, living full-time immersed in all it entails, has given the most meaningful satisfaction to my days.

In the meantime, now that I am alone, I have a steady worker who helps me with the work my husband did, as well as share the load of my own, now. He’s the solution other’s have suggested, of teaching a younger person, and it’s been truly rewarding for us both to share the upkeep and, eventually, be able to do some day sails or even coastal passages. Although, we have to laugh now, the eight years of slow restoration have him (only 34) also appreciating a second, younger (20), helper with the grunt work!

So—back to your needs— when I didn’t know what kind of boat you have, I googled it. May I suggest you consider a boat with wider side-decks, and a full keel? Slower, yes, probably, but safer working on deck, plus more stable.

And, if being on the water is as meaningful as you indicate, find one you could live on. Perhaps that is another option. Even being berthed in a Marina, life aboard your own boat home can be very sweet, and it has the added benefit of more sociability, which is needed more as we age. Even a Houseboat, if I had to sell PILAR and live on land, would make me happier, just waking up every morning to water slapping against the hull and the (admittedly) slight motion of passing wakes.

Hope you will keep us updated as to your decision…

[wallythacker]

You have a sweet boat and a great attitude. It looks to me like you'll be fine for a few more years.

My Dad, bless his crazy heart, thought nothing of swapping out the big V8 lump of iron in his powerboat when he was 85. By hand with block and tackle.

[Rchido]

It brings a smile to my face and heart to read the comments of the members of this group. You are fine people. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience.
I have read and reread all the comments and welcome the direction they provide , don’t know where to go yet, but some thoughts will definitely be followed. Will pass the torch to the professional maintenance folks. Sanding and painting the bottom will be the first to go. Followed by the spring waxing of the hull. The little teak and topside waxing I will take care of, gives me a sense of accomplishment.
I have a few ideas about how to share my sailing experience and when I have done something about it, I will let you know.

[JPA Cate]

Good you, rchido. There are many facets, experiments to make. Good success with it all.

Ann

[danielamartindm]

Originally Posted by kingwoodie

I am 75 and a solo sailor. I find that I can do everything on board except for engine repair. So I hire a mechanic to do the work. In an emergency I can and do get into my engine room to do repair. Leaving in Sept for the Bahamas and the Caribbean and then back to Houston taking about a year or two. I have a Morgan 41 ketch and all the halyards and sheets are directed into the cockpit. Even my two single line reefing lines for the main are directed to the mid cockpit. I'm in good health and plan to solo sail for as long as I can. I like the quiet and do well by myself. Looking forward to meeting older sailors on my next trip to see how they handle the little things that need to be done which are in some ways harder to do now. Good luck and good sailing
Kingwoodie
s/v Margaret Ann

I can really understand your hiring someone to do the engine work. For me, the work itself would be fairly simple in a decent sized engine room; but you don't so much "enter" my engine rooms, it's more like you put them on .

[Stu Jackson]

I'm 72 1/2. I wish my 97 year old father-in-law would STOP reminding me how old I am every month or so.


We just celebrated owning our boat for 20 years. The ONLY PITA about that celebration was that I can't handle wine as well as I used to be able to. So, I put off the wine for champagne, no problem there.


I moved/sailed our boat up to BC from SF two summers ago with my then 28 year old son. Since then, because my wife can't leave her aging father over night, I have been sailing solo, and had been for years before we moved.


I had an epiphany a number of years ago when pursuing the "trawler is the next step" nonsense: I have a boat I KNOW intimately, quirks, warts and all. I do not sail as much here as I did in SF since 1978 because of the wind here, or lack thereof.


As noted often in these forums, I "have a trawler with a stick."


I love the SPACE on my boat. It gets CROWDED with more than me on board!


If your boat works for you, DON'T get another one. Even if you bought a new one, you'd be inheriting somebody else's problems. I like the fact that I know all my boat's "things." I don't wanna buy a new set of headaches. I can deal with the ones I already know, intimately.


I even used to know where everything is. I can find most of it even now, needs be. Right after I buy that new thingie and install it, I find the one I bought years ago just for that purpose. My backups have backups.


The biggest challenge I find now is repairs. I make that "age old" mistake of thinking "Why do I have to fix that darned SOB yet again?" Because I keep pretty meticulous records, I usually find that it was "ages ago" that I last performed that task, which needed doin' yet again. Heck, by now I should be getting good at it, right?


Stick with the one that brung ya, you won't regret it, 'cuz if you don't you will.


Yogi Berra probably covered it in one of his sermons. 90% of our physical challenges are mental.


Good luck.

Now, where was that...?!?