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**Coops** · 09-07-2012, 21:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by LakeSuperior

That would be until you are in a real bind and need a hand I bet! I guess you are good at helping out when a hand is needed too! I would suggest a canopy around your cockpit. I hear the cruising is good south of Cape Horn about now.

Seems a bit aggro for what has been a good thread so far. I do not find anything wrong at all with Canibul's attitude, that is how he feels and is not suggesting that you feel the same

Coops.

**Ex-Calif** · 09-07-2012, 21:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by Canibul

So, any stranger that walks up to your boat and engages you in a conversation is then welcome to then come onto your boat and start drinking.

I am so totally 180 degrees opposite that it's hard to describe. I don't want strangers on the boat. I don't want to be told to chill out and relax. I don't want to "visit" with them. They intruded. Not me. I basically want them out of my life as soon as possible. I wish they hadn't spoken to me in the first place, but I hate to be downright rude. And it's not just a boat, it's my home.

I was just asking the question to find out how other people handle it.

Now I know, I'll send the nosy drunks over to your place.

Anyone who out of the blue asks for permission to come aboard is probably not a yachtie. I have never asked to board a strangers boat.

I don't think you have to make up any story. Try, "I am pretty busy right now and normally don't have visitors aboard. Sorry."

You'll be able to tell the yachtie by worn out deck shoes with paint splatter on them. If after a normal "dock conversation" you want to invite him aboard, go ahead.

If after a few minutes of conversation you gotta get back to work then simply, "nice talking to you I gotta get back to work here." will suffice. If he doesn't understand he is a fake yachtie.

Walking up to someone's boat and asking to board is the equivalent of knocking on someone's front door and asking if you can sit on their couch and watch some tv. Ridiculous.

If you don't get that, you haven't owned a boat.

ty.gregory · 10-07-2012, 00:40

I have the answer. The cell phone. Keep an old one in your pocket, it doesn't have to work, it's better if it doesn't, just have a cell phone in your pocket-- No matter what situation you're in, you want out-- you pretend your phone's vibrating. "Oh! I'm sorry," pull the cell phone out of your pocket, look at it, roll your eyes, maybe masasage your forehead with your free hand, sometimes I like to mutter "rhubarb, rhubarb", or some other unexplainable word choice, then, and only then-- when you have their full attention, scream to the heavens at the top of your lungs, "This is the last straw!" maybe hold an index finger up in the air as though you'll be right back, and go below if your aboard, go somewhere, anywhere, you can do this at cocktail parties, bharmitzfas, birthday parties too, the point is go somewhere else. If who ever it is I'm trying to get away from seems to be waiting for my return, I scream into the phone, "I'll kill the som bitch. I'll rip his head off and and eat his eyeballs!" then I wind up and throw the non-working cell phone onto the ground hard enough so it shatters into a million pieces. It's kind of fun (if the person/people you were talking to are still anywhere near by-- which is rarely the case--come back all calm like nothing happened and say, "I'm sorry, what were we talking about?"

Works like a charm.

Katiusha · 10-07-2012, 04:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by Canibul

So, how do you guys handle this? If someone asks permission to come aboard, and you really don't want them aboard, how do you convey that without being rude or insulting?

If they're asking, they don't own the boat or don't have enough knowledge/experience to understand how rude that is. That gets pretty clear in the beginning of conversation, so we just don't let the conversation continue. The easiest is not to get the conversation get to the point of asking.
You could also explain the parallel between a boat and a house and say that you're busy.

From what we've seen, people most willing to talk and discuss their boat in detail are the people with least experience. The further you sail, the less you talk about the "how's", unless it's a specific problem/upgrade you're considering.

Canibul · 10-07-2012, 05:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by Coops

Seems a bit aggro for what has been a good thread so far. I do not find anything wrong at all with Canibul's attitude, that is how he feels and is not suggesting that you feel the same

Coops.

I guess we know who got refused permission to go aboard someone's boat. And probably for very obvious reasons. This guy is an example of just one kind of stranger I don't want on MY boat. One that doesn't understand the difference between helping someone in need and just being a nosy, obtrusive snoop.

And this guy will always be a stranger.Hopefully, a distant one.

(And Capt. Bill, I only used this screen name because my REAL name, Gringo, was already taken on the forum.)

LakeSuperior · 10-07-2012, 05:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by Canibul

I guess we know who got refused permission to go aboard someone's boat. And probably for very obvious reasons. This guy is an example of just one kind of stranger I don't want on MY boat.

And this guy will always be a stranger.Hopefully, a distant one.

I just spent two years cruising around the North Atlantic from Michigan through the UK, Europe, Canaries, the Caribbean, and back up the eastern coast of the US. I have a list of contacts and email addresses that fill a shoe box. We have a number of new friends that we will stay in contact with for many years.

I never once had a single person out of 1000's of casual contacts stand at the dock and ask permission to come aboard unless we had invited them.

Frankly, what you are saying does not ring true!

Canibul · 10-07-2012, 05:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by LakeSuperior

I never once had a single person out of 1000's of casual contacts stand at the dock and ask permission to come aboard unless we had invited them.

Why did they have to ask permission after you had invited them?

you should work on your story a litte more before hitting the Enter key. Your hole is showing.

Frankly, I don't really care how many thousands of people you have on your boat. you can throw a barn dance on the deck for all I care. My question was not about your boat. It was how other people handle this without being rude. And obviously, you would be the last one I would ask anything about that subject.

LakeSuperior · 10-07-2012, 06:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Canibul

Why did they have to ask permission after you had invited them?

you should work on your story a litte more before hitting the Enter key. Your hole is showing.

After having been invited earlier in the day most sailors on arrival at the agreed upon time typically ask permission to come aboard. More a formality in announcing they have arrived.

Canibul · 10-07-2012, 06:57

Fine. Great.

So, you didn't have an answer for my original question, other than to say I suck and am a liar. In a lot of moderated forums you'd already be history.

and you seem to be stating that since YOU have never had this experience of unwanted people asking to come aboard, then nobody else has, either.

So, tell us, what was it like seeing the bottom of the Marianas Trench, piloting the space shuttle, and being President of the US?

**Coops** · 10-07-2012, 18:29

Hey you two, how about we not get this thread closed, it has been quite interesting so far, well i have enjoyed it anyway,

And if you both carry on bickering it will be the end of it is my guess. Agree to disagree and on with the fun.

Coops.

tropicalescape · 10-07-2012, 19:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by skipmac

I would say something like you did in your post. "Well we just bought the boat and I'm in the middle of repairing the (insert current project name here) and there's tools and grease all over the place. Maybe next time when things aren't so torn apart."

The truth seems to work most of the time...!

cheoah · 10-07-2012, 19:22

Nuthin wrong with, " maybe another time" or "now is not a good time", or as another poster suggested, tell them it is your house and you're not really geared up for company.

Your boat, your life, do whatever you want about visitors. Anyone who says different is being presumptuous and rude; just ignore them.

Cheechako · 10-07-2012, 19:28

anyone asking permission to come aboard without a discussion for a while first and getting a warm feeling from you is suspect. I would never walk up to a strange boat and ask permission in the first 10 minutes... in fact I would wait for an offer to "see what were doing".

GeoPowers · 10-07-2012, 19:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by LakeSuperior

After having been invited earlier in the day most sailors on arrival at the agreed upon time typically ask permission to come aboard. More a formality in announcing they have arrived.

+1. Politeness mixed with a smidge of nautical formality. In my experience even old friends will ask for form's sake (it is our home, after all). I know I do, and so do my buddies. Just being polite where I'm from.

Frank