People just don't get it - a bit frustrated

[Cthoops]

Mr. cthoops and I have decided we're casting off the lines when he's 62 - 6 years and 3 months from now (yes, we'll have a bigger boat). If we're lucky it will be a bit sooner, but it definitely won't be later. Without getting into specifics, we should have enough money for us. More than some cruisers, less than others.

I made the mistake of sharing our plan with my father, who immediately said we didn't have enough money to do it. He was basing his opinion on his own experiences post-retirement, but he has no experience with sailing or boating, and has zero concept of cruising. I didn't feel like spending hours educating him on the cruising life, or an equal amount of time talking about what Mr. cthoops and I value, so I just said that we've done our research and I let him talk. I also made a mental note not to mention it again until our departure is imminent.

My conversation with him was a sharp reality check that most people just don't get it. Like most of us I suspect, I spend a fair amount of time on sailing forums and reading cruising blogs, books, etc. It's easy to forget that "society" doesn't think what we're planning to do is "normal." Choosing not to mindlessly consume, not to work until we drop, to purposefully live with less both now and especially when we head out - is considered strange at best. And that's not even accounting for the health care issue. The idea that many, many people outside of the United States have very good health care for a fraction of the cost is unfathomable to most Americans. Even my friends who are supportive of our plans ask "What about health care?", and when my response mentions self-pay they look at me like I have two heads.

I just finished a conversation with someone that reminded me once again that people just don't get it. And then a small part of me wonders if I'm being overly optimistic and foolish. But then I remind myself that I'm not. We're doing what works for us - not necessarily anyone else.

I'm a bit frustrated (although I'm sure this never-ending winter isn't helping), and I just wanted to vent someplace where many people DO get it.

Thanks.

[boatman61]

Your Welcome.. hope it helped..
Regarding the Health side..
I live in Portugal and tho' I am an official Resident I'm not in their Health System as yet (to lazy and staying UK is handy till I decide).
Last year I hit 66 and not having seen a doc for a proper health check up for over 10yrs I bit the bullet and went for it..
Now remember this was a private hostpital..
Blood tests..
Bowel and Bladder tests..
ECG + X-ray
Chest and lower back X-rays x 5
Total cost 117.39 euros.
Results available in 1/2 hour.. or the next day for fluid samples..
How does that compare to the price for the above in the US of A...
exchange rate $1.11/euro at the moment..

Good for another 10yrs at least...

Oh... and St Barts... deep six inch gash in foot..
12 stitches and Meds inc bandages etc.. $90.00
Seems cheap as chips to me..

[gjordan]

Going cruising is NOT NORMAL. It is a WONDERFUL ABNORMALITY that only a very few people will ever get a chance to enjoy. Most people work their whole life to get old and die in reasonable comfort. Taking risks, and being an adventurer is alien to most people at retirement age. You father probably has worked hard all of his life, and cant understand how someone can do the unconventional, and leave the comfortable life. You might want to slowly work cruising knowledge into your conversations, so he gets more comfortable with it. On the other hand, realize that probably less than 5% of people that plan on long distance cruising ever actually do it. Life has a way of ruining lots of plans. Time, money, sick family members ,maybe your own illness. All of these things are common and ruinous to cruising. Keep working on the dream. Dont give up. Best of luck to you. Just my 2 cents worth. ______Grant.

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by gjordan

Going cruising is NOT NORMAL. It is a WONDERFUL ABNORMALITY that only a very few people will ever get a chance to enjoy. Most people work their whole life to get old and die in reasonable comfort. Taking risks, and being an adventurer is alien to most people at retirement age. You father probably has worked hard all of his life, and cant understand how someone can do the unconventional, and leave the comfortable life. You might want to slowly work cruising knowledge into your conversations, so he gets more comfortable with it. On the other hand, realize that probably less than 5% of people that plan on long distance cruising ever actually do it. Life has a way of ruining lots of plans. Time, money, sick family members ,maybe your own illness. All of these things are common and ruinous to cruising. Keep working on the dream. Dont give up. Best of luck to you. Just my 2 cents worth. ______Grant.

Start him off on Capt Ron...
then move onto some of the good stuff on Utube... not the scary racing stuff.. thats for after he's taken the hook...

[Dhillen]

The more people that tell you not to do it the more you know you are on the right track.

We have had zero support from family regarding our cruising plans. Absolutely zero. The neighbors smile and shake their heads too when they see us!

And I wouldn't trade places with any of them for a minute.

Dhillen

[MarkSF]

Most people have a very fixed idea of what they are allowed to do. This idea gets more fixed as they get older.

[David M]

The more people that don't go cruising, the less crowded the anchorages will be. Don't try to convince people.

[jongleur]

I agree with David M. Don't try convincing anyone.

I'd go so far as don't tell anyone your plans. Just
send them a postcard after you're there.

So many people tell you what they're gonna do and
it's all pretty meaningless.

It's more fun to do like we did. We bought a house
about 5 houses from our good friends without telling
anyone. Then when we were moved in, we walked
over and asked for a cup of sugar, like a neighbor
would. The surprise on their faces was priceless.
Wouldn't have been nearly as fun if they knew about
our move all along.

[MarkSF]

Originally Posted by David M

The more people that don't go cruising, the less crowded the anchorages will be. Don't try to convince people.

Yes indeed, can you imagine the chaos if everyone in the SF Bay area took up sailing? Well I don't need to imagine it, just think of Saturday and Sunday in Fleet Week.

[Stu Jackson]

Good one, Mark. Like New Years Eve, we never go out driving.

To the op: just ask "Daddy" to contribute, oh, say, $500 a month. He'll feel like you're covered financially, and you can cruise for free!

Good luck.

[dwedeking2]

I changed over to a minimalistic lifestyle 6 or so years ago. I work online so I move around as I feel the need. Last year I moved out of the US. I would say 0 of my friends and family "get it" even ones I'm close to. My cruising plans are just an extension of that.

At first I tried to explain it, to try to get some understanding. Any more I just ignore the negativity. I realize how afraid they are to leave their "box" and it just upsets everyone if you try to break down those walls. They'll never believe that the world outside of suburbia isn't a scary place with death on every corner (if the mexican cartels don't gun you down on the street corner, the back alley brain surgeons will get you for sure).

[barnakiel]

Well, I would not expect a lot of useful opinion on sailing to be available from non sailing people. Listen to everybody, then make your own well informed decisions.

Grow up, too. You are X years old and you do not have to please your father and mother anymore. Live your own dream, not theirs.

b.

[scuba0_1]

Lol take one to a boat show see what they say to those prices. Lol.

Sent from my SM-N910V using Cruisers Sailing Forum mobile app

[Cthoops]

Originally Posted by barnakiel

Grow up, too. You are X years old and you do not have to please your father and mother anymore. Live your own dream, not theirs.

b.

LOL. I figured it would just be a matter of time before a comment like that showed up. No worries there. I haven't felt the need to "please" my father (mother is dead) for decades. However, I do like to give him a call every few weeks to touch base (he lives 3,000 miles away). See how he's doing, let him know I'm alive, etc.


As for his opinion, I wasn't looking for his opinion on sailing. That would be stupid, given that he doesn't sail. I was interested in his thoughts from a retirement perspective, financially speaking.

[Cthoops]

Originally Posted by boatman61

Your Welcome.. hope it helped..
Regarding the Health side..
I live in Portugal and tho' I am an official Resident I'm not in their Health System as yet (to lazy and staying UK is handy till I decide).
Last year I hit 66 and not having seen a doc for a proper health check up for over 10yrs I bit the bullet and went for it..
Now remember this was a private hostpital..
Blood tests..
Bowel and Bladder tests..
ECG + X-ray
Chest and lower back X-rays x 5
Total cost 117.39 euros.
Results available in 1/2 hour.. or the next day for fluid samples..
How does that compare to the price for the above in the US of A...
exchange rate $1.11/euro at the moment..

Good for another 10yrs at least...

Oh... and St Barts... deep six inch gash in foot..
12 stitches and Meds inc bandages etc.. $90.00
Seems cheap as chips to me..

I continue to be amazed whenever I read about someone's medical costs outside of the U.S. Before we got into sailing we had a vague idea that the medical system here is messed up. Now, we know it.