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Old 03-01-2020, 22:23   #46
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Re: One Bed, Two Dreams

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Originally Posted by letsgetsailing3 View Post
If your wife is your priority, she absolutely needs to be part of the plan, as this is a big project.
Well, yes, of course. Eventually. I'm just trying to get ideas on how others have worked this out. I want to have plan that is not going to get me blown out of the water immediately.

Others have suggested that I buy the right boat for now and worry about a boat for circumnavigation when I am ready to do it. I already have the perfect boat for now. My friends boat. All the bills go to his address, I only have to bring beer and sandwiches.
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Old 04-01-2020, 05:40   #47
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Re: One Bed, Two Dreams

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In answer to other posters, why do I need to do this? Gee, I don't know. I don't suppose I can put it any better than Sir Edmund Hillary: because it is there.
Because it is there.
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Old 04-01-2020, 07:14   #48
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Re: One Bed, Two Dreams

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I wish that someone had told me when I was 18 that the objective of life was to find a woman who loves sailing and convince her to marry me.
Lol, no kidding
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Old 04-01-2020, 09:59   #49
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Re: One Bed, Two Dreams

Here's an idea about how to sleep together without sleeping together...

The Atlantic: The Couples Who Sleep ‘Together’ Over Videochat.
https://www.theatlantic.com/family/a...wsstand-family
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Old 04-01-2020, 11:02   #50
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Re: One Bed, Two Dreams

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Originally Posted by gamayun View Post
Here's an idea about how to sleep together without sleeping together...

The Atlantic: The Couples Who Sleep ‘Together’ Over Videochat.
https://www.theatlantic.com/family/a...wsstand-family
That's actually quite mind-blowing! Add augmented reality glasses and soon we can spend time together quite naturally without being there. There are some senses left, of course, but I trust there will be tech for that as well
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Old 04-01-2020, 11:23   #51
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Re: One Bed, Two Dreams

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Originally Posted by mglonnro View Post
That's actually quite mind-blowing! Add augmented reality glasses and soon we can spend time together quite naturally without being there. There are some senses left, of course, but I trust there will be tech for that as well
So I guess a Hacker could finally realise his threesome fantasy.
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Old 04-01-2020, 12:16   #52
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Re: One Bed, Two Dreams

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I already have the perfect boat for now. My friends boat. All the bills go to his address, I only have to bring beer and sandwiches.
Those are very nice boats indeed
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Old 04-01-2020, 15:08   #53
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Re: One Bed, Two Dreams

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Originally Posted by gamayun View Post
Here's an idea about how to sleep together without sleeping together...

The Atlantic: The Couples Who Sleep ‘Together’ Over Videochat.
https://www.theatlantic.com/family/a...wsstand-family

Another one to add to the list of stupid **** I cannot understand.
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Old 04-01-2020, 22:14   #54
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Re: One Bed, Two Dreams

The World Arc can't be done single handed. 2 crew minimum with most boats having more. The 15 months is such a short time that you will have little time after each passage and boat repair time to have your wife come in and 'easy' cruise with you.

You will have much more free cruising time if you plan to break up the circle in a few places, waiting out the cyclone season rather than powering through continuosly.
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Old 04-01-2020, 22:53   #55
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Re: One Bed, Two Dreams

I am just a bit ahead of you (64) and while my Doctor considers me in great health I wouldn't feel safe single handing on an extended offshore passage. My reflexes, balance, and stamina just aren't the same as when I was 25 and could jump from the boat onto the middle seat of a small dinghy without ending up in the water. The change in the last four years has been a bit shocking.

For years, my wife has practiced the "meet you there" form of cruising. She loves cruising and living on the boat but draws the line at overnight passages. Many women do. This has worked well for us, I have about half a dozen crew who enjoy the offshore jumps although these are a week or so not months.

I would plan your circumnavigation by picking a dozen month long stops for your wife to join you. Pick nice places and she'll enjoy it. This will keep the marriage in fine shape.

With that cruise itinerary in hand, I would look for your crew before the boat. It sounds like you don't need someone to help with the boat cost - just someone who doesn't have to be paid (which relieves you of a whole lot of legal and liability issues).

I would look for another male (why worry your wife?) who wants to circumnavigate but maybe can't afford the boat. Age doesn't really matter, it's more about compatibility and friendship. It will take some luck to find the right person but we make our own luck.
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Old 05-01-2020, 12:20   #56
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Re: One Bed, Two Dreams

Quote:
Originally Posted by gamayun View Post
Here's an idea about how to sleep together without sleeping together...

The Atlantic: The Couples Who Sleep ‘Together’ Over Videochat.
https://www.theatlantic.com/family/a...wsstand-family
I don't even know what to say about this one. I guess I'm a Luddite, I just don't get it. Even if I did get it, different time zones and 4 hour watches would sure make this hard. But that is theoretical, because I just don't get it.
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Old 05-01-2020, 12:22   #57
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Re: One Bed, Two Dreams

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Originally Posted by CarlF View Post
I am just a bit ahead of you (64) and while my Doctor considers me in great health I wouldn't feel safe single handing on an extended offshore passage. My reflexes, balance, and stamina just aren't the same as when I was 25 and could jump from the boat onto the middle seat of a small dinghy without ending up in the water. The change in the last four years has been a bit shocking.

For years, my wife has practiced the "meet you there" form of cruising. She loves cruising and living on the boat but draws the line at overnight passages. Many women do. This has worked well for us, I have about half a dozen crew who enjoy the offshore jumps although these are a week or so not months.

I would plan your circumnavigation by picking a dozen month long stops for your wife to join you. Pick nice places and she'll enjoy it. This will keep the marriage in fine shape.

With that cruise itinerary in hand, I would look for your crew before the boat. It sounds like you don't need someone to help with the boat cost - just someone who doesn't have to be paid (which relieves you of a whole lot of legal and liability issues).

I would look for another male (why worry your wife?) who wants to circumnavigate but maybe can't afford the boat. Age doesn't really matter, it's more about compatibility and friendship. It will take some luck to find the right person but we make our own luck.
Carl, thanks for your input. This is very interesting. Can I ask how long you have been doing this, and a general idea of extent of your cruising? Do you confine yourself to one area, the Caribbean, Med, South Pacific, etc., or are you ranging more widely?
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Old 05-01-2020, 12:40   #58
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Re: One Bed, Two Dreams

We do some "meet me there" cruising too and have friends who do the same.

Fortunately, my wife enjoys the cruising lifestyle and we spend about 4 months cruising together each year, but she has no interest in long crossings. When cruising we limit our crossings to a max of a few nights...anything longer and she will meet me there.

This year I sailed w a friend (on his boat) NYC-Bermuda-Azores...about 30 days at sea. Wife flew in and met us in Horta. She & I then spent a month in Portugal and it was awesome. So "yes", meet me there can work just fine.

Im also a sailing instructor so can turn a longer run into a revenue producing educational adventure too. This also gives me former students to draw on as crew or to crew for (the trip above was w a former student, who is now a cruising boat owner...and is racking up the mileage...I will probably cross the Pacific w him next year).

As I sneak up on 60, there are still some longer crossings I want to get in before I get too damn old. "Meet me there" will be part of those crossings too.

For us seasonal cruising plus some meet me there cruising is a great combination which also allows us time to travel and spend time at home. All the above are things we enjoy.
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Old 10-01-2020, 07:43   #59
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Re: One Bed, Two Dreams

I think your idea of circumnavigation with your wife joining you on stops would be feasible. With that said ,crew becomes the issue

I’ve thought about this for my own plans and decided that should I do another ocean crossing I’d advertise in the local colleges , sailing clubs etc for a competent young couple to do the crossing as crew. They get the experience , all expenses paid and with the explicit understanding that once you’re at your destination, the trip is over. Of course if you like them and they work well with you ,then invite them to stay.
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Old 10-01-2020, 08:03   #60
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Re: One Bed, Two Dreams

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Can I afford this? Well, I have the money. Whether I can “afford” to use the money this way heading into retirement is something my wife and I will likely have different views on.
I obviously don't know your exact circumstances, but in my house, the phrase "I can afford" would never be used. The term used here would "We can afford". If my spouse looked at things in terms of "I" and not "we", I would take my half of the money and leave.
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