Horrible Guests, Terrible Crew

[GRIT]

Originally Posted by john61ct

Yes it is unfair to overgeneralize, but as the US population has led the way with humanity's changes over many decades, more fully embraced modern society, those from countries with more of the traditional ways intact among their social relations do perceive "our" ways with justified amazement and concern.

It's very hard to talk to fish about water.

WOW. Get out much?

Diatribe deleted...


Paul.

[Kenomac]

Originally Posted by john61ct

Yes it is unfair to overgeneralize, but as the US population has led the way with humanity's changes over many decades, more fully embraced modern society, those from countries with more of the traditional ways intact among their social relations do perceive "our" ways with justified amazement and concern.

It's very hard to talk to fish about water.

Me thinks the Italians, British, French, Russians etc. etc..... might feel the same way. Now back on subject.

So far nobody has commented on the sickly/frailty issue of our pervert guest. What do you do when a guest appears dockside with some very obvious medical issues which might jeopardize their safety on board? As nurses, we felt it was do-able... but it did raise concerns.

[PLANET EXPRESS]

Google peoples names you would be suprised what comes up. It is good to put down on paper your expectations that way most of the situations will be discussed and not forgotten. Not meant to be an actual document you sign or contract just kinda here’s how it is if we have same expectations will be less likely let down. Or have no expectations that way you will never be let down lol. And everyoneq that comes aboard are crew not guests they did not pay for a charter boat.
It is sad the way things have gone and what we ASSUME, with the invention of computers and phones the art of face to face conversation is going away.

[Macblaze]

Originally Posted by Kenomac

Me thinks the Italians, British, French, Russians etc. etc..... might feel the same way. Now back on subject.

So far nobody has commented on the sickly/frailty issue of our pervert guest. What do you do when a guest appears dockside with some very obvious medical issues which might jeopardize their safety on board? As nurses, we felt it was do-able... but it did raise concerns.

Health is one of those assumptions that can bite you on the ass. I invited my parents aboard and fully expected to keep the heeling to a minimum, tie up to docks most nights and keep the hiking for another time. It was still pretty fun.

But I invited an old agemate who had had much more sailing experience that I (albeit in the distant past) and was surprised and frustrated to find that his mobility was worse than my 80-year-old mom and there was an expectation of using ship's batteries for various gadgets at night which meant nights at anchor needed to be kept to a minimum.

It turned a week's wilderness adventure into a much more sedate scenic cruise...except for the drinking. Seems my intake has gone down while others has gone up. I didn't think anyone my age could do that anymore...and for me, I was right

So now I do a bit more explaining about what it's like to live aboard a sailboat and ask a few more questions so at least I have the proper expectations going in...

[Kenomac]

Observation: People don’t age at the same rate, the difference can be remarkable.

[Macblaze]

Originally Posted by Kenomac

Observation: People don’t age at the same rate, the difference can be remarkable.

And after a certain age, not seeing someone for even a few years can come as a big shock.

[Leo Ticheli]

We consider our boat as an extension of our home, so we have never allowed our guests to pay for anything. Sometimes they will bring a bottle of wine or prepared food, but it's no different from what dinner or house guests would do. We feed them, pour for them, and allow them to do a few sailing jobs if they wish and are capable. Most of our sailing guests have been decades younger, and it's been a treat for us to spend time with them. A few times we've taken people who are economically disadvantaged; I highly recommend it.

Only once, on a sail to Cuba, did we hope our guests would pitch in on sailing and chores, but both were incapacitated with mal de mer, so we had to care for them as well as run the boat. It was not their fault they couldn't help; things happen out there.

I've experienced only one guy who liked to pull the check-spliting routine; he and his wife would order the most expensive items and two or three of drinks each, while we are more modest, but we got to subsidise their meals. We agreed to help them deliver their new boat, a two-week trip, and they really took advantage of us, not picking up the tab for a single meal. By the way, they are of considerable means; we are not. They are no longer friends and I am much happier.

I realize that having extra competent hands on crossings or long passages is advantageous and I sympathize with those who have less than happy experiences. I hope my luck holds.

Fair winds,
Leo

[Stu Jackson]

Originally Posted by Leo Ticheli

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


I've experienced only one guy who liked to pull the check-spliting routine; he and his wife would order the most expensive items and two or three of drinks each, while we are more modest, but we got to subsidise their meals. We agreed to help them deliver their new boat, a two-week trip, and they really took advantage of us, not picking up the tab for a single meal. By the way, they are of considerable means; we are not. They are no longer friends and I am much happier.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Anybody seeing a pattern here?


I wonder whether they got there by pulling stunts like this all along, or are just fabricating their wealth to brag about it (and unless they show you their tax returns it could all be BS).

[Kenomac]

Originally Posted by Leo Ticheli

I've experienced only one guy who liked to pull the check-spliting routine; he and his wife would order the most expensive items and two or three of drinks each, while we are more modest, but we got to subsidise their meals. We agreed to help them deliver their new boat, a two-week trip, and they really took advantage of us, not picking up the tab for a single meal. By the way, they are of considerable means; we are not. They are no longer friends and I am much happier.

I realize that having extra competent hands on crossings or long passages is advantageous and I sympathize with those who have less than happy experiences. I hope my luck holds.

Fair winds,
Leo

This was our experience, same senario, although the couple did pay for one meal towards the end when they were trying to impress some local friends who joined us for a meal. This helped make up for my wife’s earlier $80 plate of spaghetti, but within a week, they left me shorthanded for the Atlantic crossing and sent us a bill for credit card fees.

[Kenomac]

Originally Posted by Stu Jackson

Anybody seeing a pattern here?


I wonder whether they got there by pulling stunts like this all along, or are just fabricating their wealth to brag about it (and unless they show you their tax returns it could all be BS).

It was brought up earlier by a fellow nurse, yes..... I’m beginning to see a pattern.

[Montanan]

Sounds like a tough and disappointing year.

Okay, so there a few take aways that I perceive we can glean from these experiences.

"Catch up" with past acquaintances on land; then and only then consider inviting to be part of the crew for an extended cruise, particularly with persons that you don't have intimate knowledge of. Old acquaintances are essentially strangers, people change, get to know them and their background [that includes run ins with the law].

Define and agree to the terms and expectations of guest and crew explicitly long before accepting them as guests or crew.

Qualify your guests and crew as to skills, experience, physical and mental capacities. People age differently as you learned. Be prepared to make accommodation for their weak-points and special needs, else don't engage them and their requirements and limitations.

Be decisive, make choices early, even though it may be harsh or even adverse to another.

Don't fall into misconceptions that relationships with and actions of others will be in your favor or pleasure and that things will be Rosy.

As my father used to say: Guests are like fish, they begin to stink after a few days. Set firm limits as to time spent on board and don't feel that you need to attend to their every wish, routine, desire or expenditure.

Wishing for more pleasant days.

[Cadence]

Originally Posted by Kenomac

We don’t have any “enemies” that we know of, both of us generally try to avoid negative complainer type people. Of course I know you’re joking.

I feel sure also it was in jest but it did get a laugh. Maybe your pearl of wisdom is they should be vetted prior to finding out they are fetid.

[Kenomac]

Originally Posted by Cadence

I feel sure also it was in jest but it did get a laugh. Maybe your pearl of wisdom is they should be vetted prior to finding out they are fetid.

Excellent! I like that, “Vetted before fetid.”

[PortClydeMe]

Originally Posted by Dooglas

And there is that old saying about the capabilities of a boat - drinks 6, feeds 4, sleeps 2.

Hahaha, that's a good one. And, as everyone knows, guests and fish begin to stink after 3 days.

Kenomac, if you can rig the 62' cutter to sail single-handed, that would be much better. With just two onboard, you can both stay completely naked once outside the sight of land. It's much more comfortable that way. Like a private ocean-going nudist colony. Members only. Such fun. Unless it's cold outside, clothes are a complete nuisance. Just a couple towels needed, for showers and the occasional cover-up when unexpected nuclear subs emerge.

Personally, I think long and hard before jumping into any long-term stay with others, regardless of how well I think I know them. There's a reason why hippy colonies went the way of the rotary phone. Hard to find both, these days.

[Kenomac]

Originally Posted by PortClydeMe

Hahaha, that's a good one. And, as everyone knows, guests and fish begin to stink after 3 days.

Kenomac, if you can rig the 62' cutter to sail single-handed, that would be much better. With just two onboard, you can both stay completely naked once outside the sight of land. It's much more comfortable that way. Like a private ocean-going nudist colony. Members only. Such fun. Unless it's cold outside, clothes are a complete nuisance. Just a couple towels needed, for showers and the occasional cover-up when unexpected nuclear subs emerge.

Personally, I think long and hard before jumping into any long-term stay with others, regardless of how well I think I know them. There's a reason why hippy colonies went the way of the rotary phone. Hard to find both, these days.

Actually, the 62 is easy to singlehand and the two of us manage quite well alone. Only one thing to sort out, the hydraulic anchor windlass runs much slower than we’re use to, so going to have to figure out how to speed it up. Tremendous torque but slooowwww.