Horrible Guests, Terrible Crew

[Stu Jackson]

Originally Posted by fxykty

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
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. And help running the house (chopping firewood, fixing a slow drain) should not be required nor even expected of guests. Same for a boat.

I don't recall anybody coming to my house and offering to fix something, because that's not why I invited them over. There have been times when I've asked friends for particular help on a household project or repair, either because it needed more than two hands or they had some specific expertise.


On the boat, things are quite different. I can't begin to count the hundreds of times when folks who've come to chat have helped me with little things. And bigger ones, too. Those are the true friends, who don't think twice about pitching in. That's one of the reasons boating is so much fun: we're surrounded by folks who share similar interests.

[carlwk3c]

Originally Posted by Macblaze

I've not run into border guard types who search computers/phones when we enter the US by boat, but that is a issue that never occurred to me when I am essentially crossing the border with my home. And having guests with who-knows-what in their search history makes it just frightening.

I think you've just ruined my day.

My NETGEAR onboard router allows me to set up a guest network, separate from our main network. That does a couple of things. It isolates guests from our devices, their files, and other things we have that use WiFi, like our AIS transponder, and it would help make the case that we were not aware of or involved in any nefarious or illegal activity by the guest.
It’s not perfect, but it’s a lot better than nothing.
Of course, if we had any. Inclination that a guest might do something inappropriate or illegal, we would not give them ANY access, and, at a very low threshold of suspicion, they wouldn’t come aboard in the first place or, if already aboard, would be put ashore at the first opportunity.

[Atalantia]

I don‘t really understand the problem with the restaurants. It‘s so easy to say: „Everyone on his own bill.“ or „Go to restaurants, we stay on board using our nice galley“ You seem to be a captain without assertiveness.

[boatpoker]

Originally Posted by Kenomac

We’ve only had three duds over the past eight years who wouldn’t share expenses and one sex offender with passport issues.

So you've had three in 8yrs and we've had zero in 25yrs.
Time to ask yourself what you are doing wrong.

[Kenomac]

Originally Posted by Atalantia

I don‘t really understand the problem with the restaurants. It‘s so easy to say: „Everyone on his own bill.“ or „Go to restaurants, we stay on board using our nice galley“ You seem to be a captain without assertiveness.

Originally Posted by boatpoker

So you've had three in 8yrs and we've had zero in 25yrs.
Time to ask yourself what you are doing wrong.

Yes, I’m the cause of all the problems, the one doing everything wrong I suggest you read more of the thread where these issues were previously answered.... several times.

[Buzzman]

Guess we've all had occasions where 'friends' turned out to be not so friendly.

I had one occasion where I and a bunch of friends with like boat-related interests were invited to the home of one friend who was local to the place we were all holidaying. We all had small boats. Like, dinghy size...

So we anticipated a pleasant evening. The day of the event (pre-arranged and advertised as part of our 'weekend away' several months previously) the 'host' asked if we'd mind chipping in for the food. No problem, we said.

We were then presented with a demand for $25 per person - *after* we'd arrived as 'guests' at their house.

So, we all paid. As you do.

The meal was VERY ordinary. The meat second-rate, the salad mainly lettuce and tomato. A bowl of shop bought pasta salad. Dessert was a supermarket cake.

I and the other 'guests' discussed it later and we agreed they'd probably not paid for their own meals.

Needless to say they are off my 'Christmas list'.

I'd also had to arrange polo shirts for the event, in advance, which I'd paid for, in advance, but had requested EFT for the shirts, which I then delivered on the first day of the event.

The 'host' later complained he'd found a pulled thread on his shirt. With a clear expectation I'd volunteer to replace it.

He did not get a new shirt.

Haven't heard from him since, and don't much care if I don't.

Conversely, had to arrange a dinner for my Mum's 80th recently, which coincided with my sister's 50th, so are normally held jointly. Had to be close to her unwell sister and brother-in-law, hundreds of miles from us, so everything arranged via email.

Forty pax arrived, having been told WELL in advance that neither Mum nor my sister (nor I) were paying for meals for the birthday girls, and having been told in advance that a $300 specialty cake had been ordered, and that guests would be expected to contribute. They were also told to bring cash, as it was arranged to be 'cash bar' for drinks, and to contribute 'extra' for the tip for the restaurant.

After I totted up all the cash provided, I found I had well over the cost and was able to provide the restaurant with an excellent tip.

You win some, you lose some.

But boy was I stressed about the double-birthday, and the possibility I might get stuck with some of the bill. I could have handled a small amount exttra, but I object to shelling out for cheapskates who dodge their legitimate responsibilities.

Was even worried I was 'too much sharing' the cost structure - that people might think I was trying to scam them somehow. Worried I was spending too much on a cake, etc etc...

Oh, and then the initial choice of restaurant wanted to do 'fixed price banquet' when I advised them two weeks out the numbers had risen from the expected 20-30 pax to 40 pax. So I had to also hastily find a change of venue, as the $50/hd cost would have been prohibitive for one family member who has six kids to shell out for...

Needless to say, my worries were unfounded, the 'second-choice' restaurant crew were lovely, and everyone separately thanked me for the organisation and 'communications'.

Guess I'm trying to say this reinforces those who previously said "state it all upfront" and it shouldn't end in tears.

But, man, that 'confiscated passport' scenario is a doozy. Until it was re-issued, stamped, how could you have known, other than via a frank admission? Sooo not going to happen...

I was once in a car in which other passengers had drugs (in my misspent youth) and was leery of getting apprehended and 'tarred with the same brush' by police.

Needless to say, it only happened the once...

Although, I was happy enough to smoke their weed at the time. Makes me a hippy-crit, I guess... lol

[JamuJoe]

Originally Posted by Kenomac

Yes, I’m the cause of all the problems, the one doing everything wrong I suggest you read more of the thread where these issues were previously answered.... several times.

You seem to be looking for sympathy rather than advice. A captain must be able to screen his crew, discharge any who behave unacceptably, decide upon expense sharing, and control his vessel and those aboard. You are responsible for boat and crew.

[boatpoker]

Originally Posted by Buzzman

exttra, but I object to shelling out for cheapskates who dodge their legitimate responsibilities.l

You are kidding.... right ?
You invite them, to an event for your mother and sister and want them to pay for everything and they are avoiding their responsibilities..... Wow ! I'm glad I have the friends that I do.

[Stu Jackson]

Originally Posted by JamuJoe

You seem to be looking for sympathy rather than advice. A captain must be able to screen his crew, discharge any who behave unacceptably, decide upon expense sharing, and control his vessel and those aboard. You are responsible for boat and crew.

It could be appropriate for you to stop berating Kenomac. He voluntarily shared an experience or three that was thoughtfully presented and explained. In fact, he had to explain himself a lot of times because of some Reading Comprehension 101 problems on the part of some respondents.

[AKA-None]

Stuff happens. We had a coworker who decided to start going to lunch with us. Then a couple of weeks later the waitress asked what she had done wrong. Seems when he was paying the bill our tip money was used to pay for his lunch. He was dropped like a rock. We had no idea.

Sometimes you don’t know until too late and what are you going to do. Drop them on a deserted island or off the back of the boat?

I appreciate what Kenomac has shared.

Thanks

[Kenomac]

Originally Posted by JamuJoe

You seem to be looking for sympathy rather than advice. A captain must be able to screen his crew, discharge any who behave unacceptably, decide upon expense sharing, and control his vessel and those aboard. You are responsible for boat and crew.

Read the original post more carefully, I’m trying to warn others so it won’t happen to them.

[Naughty Cat]

I am intrigued. When you say

"- pajamas (hot is better)."

What effect are you after [emoji848]

[guitarrich]

I’ve had bad crew in my time, but those were right up (or down) there. Very sorry for you. I’ve found you need to pay people if you want to be sure they will take it seriously.

As to the Facebook thing, I’ve had the same experience. It listens to you along with all the rest! Spooky! Best of luck for the future. Two nice boats. Hope you find guests to match!

[Cadence]

Originally Posted by Stu Jackson

It could be appropriate for you to stop berating Kenomac. He voluntarily shared an experience or three that was thoughtfully presented and explained. In fact, he had to explain himself a lot of times because of some Reading Comprehension 101 problems on the part of some respondents.

On stop the berating. It was an interesting story and possible warning as to pick your friend carefully.

[Kenomac]

I’d like to thank many of you for the support and encouragement you’ve offered.