A beautiful post by a man who has his priorities truly sorted out. Sorry to hear about your prognosis - although I think your approach is right on the money
. What you need RIGHT NOW (AND in the future), is the love and respect of those who you love. Lets face it, the medical
profession is often wrong - calculating any
persons shelf-life is pretty much a fools game
. On the other hand, what is
certain is the importance of your love for your wife and children and, the rewards you receive for supporting them. For you, the view of those "four sets of eyes" is more beautiful than any vista on any sea, or in any harbour.
Here's to hoping that you can have it all. But if not, its nice to see someone who is not merely resigned to fulfilling the obligations of his current
circumstance, but thankful for the opportunity.
Your words here have really resonated with me. As I had mentioned in a recent post, I had been planning on leaving work
last year to sail south, finish construction on a very small 'boutique' beachfront resort I am buidling on Isla Margarita and then, once it was up and running, taking off across the Atlantic for a year cruising europe
and..... As I said in that post, life intervened and I have become invovled with (and since last March, engaged to) a wonderful woman. We put off departure for another year, in large part to allow her to remain in Canada
to provide support for her youngest daughter, who was scheduled to start college.
Well, life has intervened once again - her daughter took the year off from school
, although she is now scheduled to attend this coming fall (and having paid a deposit on residence etc., now seems committed to going). So, to ensure that mom is nearby in case she suffers the typical problems of homesickness, etc. on her first year away from home, I had pretty much decided to delay my (our) departure by another year.
In the course of calculating the difference to my pension by working longer, I have discovered that if I continue working for another four
years, my pension will be 80K year, rather than than the 33 and change I would have received if I had left this year! That is a pretty significant difference ( if I live to my father's age, let alone my mothers, about 1.5 million $). Do I need the money
? Not really. Fortunately, I also have a small RSP (a little over 400 K) and I anticipate making money on my venture down south (hard not to as it will be mortgage free and there are no property taxes
on the island).
So, do I stay four more years? If I were still alone, the decision would be easy. But while I
don't really need the money, I also have to think of my fiance, who is only 37 and who would be entitled to that pension should I (when I?) pre-decease her. I do know that I love this woman immensely and have no doubt about her love for (nor her support of) me.
What is more important - satisfying my urges NOW, or remaining for four more years in order to provide some short-term comfort and long-term security
for her? And then it hit me while I was reading your post - it isn't just for her.
My fiance is giving up a terrific career to join me on this adventure. She will be separating herself from her family, friends and most imporantly, her two children. Understand, that even in four years, her youngest will only be 21. Experience with my own son (soon to be 24), makes clear that even after her first year away from home, she will likely still be needing her mom's support, from time to time. Understand too, that in spite of this, my fiance is NOT urging me to stay; in fact, she didn't want me to delay my 'dream' even for this year, let alone any longer.
She is willing to risk everything for a life with me. And I......well, I am still in a state of shock that for the second time in my life, I have been blessed to find someone who I can, without hesitation, describe as the light of my life (my first died from breast cancer 5 years ago this May). I am blessed to have her and her children in my life. And in the final analysis, working another four years to ensure her financial security
a sacrifice at all. The alternative - the possibility that I could leave her short on money, is something I cannot even contemplate. Rather, the rewards of doing this small thing for her, even though (or perhaps especially since) she is not asking for it, is precisely what I NEED RIGHT NOW.
Thank-you Stillraining, for your words have crystalized my own thoughts and priorities. I am going to stay.