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Old 16-09-2020, 17:51   #31
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Re: Cruising without anchoring?

What I’m getting is that you have an affinity for “the boating life” and your wife and daughter more for “the developed shoreside life”, am I reading that correct?
Since the Med would more correspond to the later, and price doesn’t appear to be a factor, have you considered sailing over to the Med with a crew (hired or recruited), and having the wife and daughter fly in to join you once there?
If I understand correctly, you are looking at a few years from now and would have time to work on the scheduling for the return trip.
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Old 17-09-2020, 01:39   #32
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Re: Cruising without anchoring?

I think the sailing in Europe concept is a great idea for you, lots of culture, almost everywhere marinas in various price ranges and qualities and generally very good cell coverage everywhere.
Only drawback might be the Schengen or VAT issue for you, but there are ways to handle this.

If money is no issue, you could even have the boat shipped over on a Dockwise freighter or buy a new one over here.

Enjoy. It will be fun!
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What I’m getting is that you have an affinity for “the boating life” and your wife and daughter more for “the developed shoreside life”, am I reading that correct?
Since the Med would more correspond to the later, and price doesn’t appear to be a factor, have you considered sailing over to the Med with a crew (hired or recruited), and having the wife and daughter fly in to join you once there?
If I understand correctly, you are looking at a few years from now and would have time to work on the scheduling for the return trip.
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Old 17-09-2020, 07:05   #33
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Re: Cruising without anchoring?

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Originally Posted by Creedence View Post
Shall we say 15’ and it’s associated water velocity if you prefer? This thread isn’t really intended to nibble at details like crabs (lobstah, sorry), but if that’s what you feed on, have at it.

Boston has more tidal range than some other places do.
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I’m not sharing that as though it’s going to blow anyone away, but just to demonstrate that I’ve got a handle on the fundamentals.
Sorry to stray off-topic, but if one is going to burnish one's credentials by citing dramatic tidal ranges and currents, Boston inner harbor just doesn't cut it. I have to question whether you've ever anchored there, or anywhere that was a real challenge. From Boston, take a quick run up to Newburyport or Portsmouth if you want to see reversing tidal currents. Head Down East for some real tide ranges. Anchor for a while in those places, then come back and tell us what a salty sailor you are.
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Old 17-09-2020, 15:53   #34
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Re: Cruising without anchoring?

I say go with the plan you have, see what you find and also see how your plan morphs over time.
They may tire of the similar marinas scene and find they're intrigued by hanging on the hook on a near deserted beach and all that offers.
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Old 17-09-2020, 16:26   #35
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Re: Cruising without anchoring?

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Sorry to stray off-topic, but if one is going to burnish one's credentials by citing dramatic tidal ranges and currents, Boston inner harbor just doesn't cut it. I have to question whether you've ever anchored there, or anywhere that was a real challenge. From Boston, take a quick run up to Newburyport or Portsmouth if you want to see reversing tidal currents. Head Down East for some real tide ranges. Anchor for a while in those places, then come back and tell us what a salty sailor you are.
I’ve anchored in Newburyport, and Gloucester, etc. I’ve lived there for two years, but that’s not really relevant to the topic. Which is why I have to chuckle at your little contribution. I think you stopped following the bouncing ball at some point because the very next sentence alerted the group that is wasn’t to assert saltiness, rather to demonstrate a grasp of fundamentals.

I invite you to put me on ignore. You’re a thread derailer, and frankly not adding much value to the topic. The thread was not entitled “I so salty”

Alternatively you could try a little experiment by getting out of your own way and being a decent person and a contributor of some measure of value...your choice.
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Old 17-09-2020, 17:15   #36
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Re: Cruising without anchoring?

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Originally Posted by japawil View Post
What I’m getting is that you have an affinity for “the boating life” and your wife and daughter more for “the developed shoreside life”, am I reading that correct?
Since the Med would more correspond to the later, and price doesn’t appear to be a factor, have you considered sailing over to the Med with a crew (hired or recruited), and having the wife and daughter fly in to join you once there?
If I understand correctly, you are looking at a few years from now and would have time to work on the scheduling for the return trip.
You nailed it! More accurately, I guess I’d say my wife has always tolerated boating. My daughter is like any other 4 year old girl; she’ll tolerate a sail and loves playing aboard, but she is not going to embrace life on the hook to any extent that would make it enjoyable for the family.

Besides all that, I’ll want retain some sense of normalcy so I can work when needed. I really love the idea of the Med and Europe and might consider that a retirement adventure. This is especially attractive as my wife is British and has family scattered across Europe. For the time being, the closer I can stay to the eastern time zone, the better off I’ll be with respect to my ability to fund the trip.


So a consensus seems to be developing that there will be some exceptional spots and experiences we’ll be forced to pass on, and I’ll focus my search on the more developed locales. Great feedback all!
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Old 21-09-2020, 07:34   #37
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Re: Cruising without anchoring?

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Originally Posted by Creedence View Post
I’m asking because I’m frankly not convinced my wife and daughter will take to it as energetically if we’re anchoring, and in this particular instance, there’s not a pressing financial incentive to keep us on the hook. But I’m hoping this thread may reveal some other compelling reasons (or better yet, a lack thereof) that would force the anchoring solution. And in fairness to my wife, she tolerates anchoring, and has done on many, many occasions, but not for 2 years at a stretch, and my daughter’s preferences/wants/needs also push me to consider the marina path.
OK, as the Marriage and Family Therapist/Relationship Coach in the room here I'd like to address your family dynamic with the following thoughts for you-

1. Cruising as a family is challenging, even for the closest family, mainly because of the clash between individual needs/wants, the group needs, and the whims of mother nature that you as the Skipper need to respond to and keep everyone safe.

Needs- those things that you must have
Wants- those things that make you happy, but they're changeable, transient, and able to be delayed without killing you (if you have a mature attitude)

It's a good idea to spend some time defining all of the wants/needs of each individual, the family, and the Skipper (the latter is about safety of the vessel/crew, not his individual needs)

2. After you complete the above you make a plan for how you will cruise together and address everyone's wants and needs.

For example, what my wife and I did at first, was agree to spend at least 2 days in a marina per week, and duck into a marina if the forecast was for 25+ knots.

(fast forward 5 years and she actually loves and prefers anchoring and we live on the hook 99% of the time, so where you start is not necessarily where you end up).

3. As the Skipper, your family is crew as well as family. You want them to be happy and most likely will bend over backwards to make that happen, as evidenced by your post here. They need to choose to trust you on that, and negotiating a cruising plan so they know what to expect and how things will work is a big start.

I say "choose" to trust you because there are times you have to make a judgment call that will be contrary to what your wife or daughter wants. Rather than make that a setup for a power struggle and arguing/whining/resentment, if you negotiate this and they understand that they can't always get what they want and that they agreed to choose to trust you, you have the potential for being a strong TEAM, and there is nothing sweeter than being a functional team with the ones you love (and nothing more miserable than being a dysfunctional team in a situation you can't change, like being on a boat thousands of miles from home).

Of course there's much more, but that seems like a good start and feel free to reach out if you need ideas/strategies as you already have.
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Old 21-09-2020, 07:58   #38
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Re: Cruising without anchoring?

Creedence, teach your daughter to swim asap.
I'm soon going to teach my (soon 4 yo.) daughter that.
She loves to use her mask and snorkel in the bathtub already :-)


I taught my wife to swim, shortly after she became a PADI diver.
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Old 21-09-2020, 08:12   #39
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Re: Cruising without anchoring?

Is there such a thing as a European/North American 'house swap' facilitation site, except for boats?
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Old 21-09-2020, 08:34   #40
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Re: Cruising without anchoring?

We left CT in 2013 with our 9 year old. We spent three years cruising the east coast and Bahamas with a side trip to Cuba. We spent a mix of time in marinas and anchoring out. It's fairly easy to do marinas in USA without missing too much, but there are some outstanding experiences that require dropping the hook. In the Bahamas, it was very rare for us to be in a marina because all the amazing places really depend on anchoring. A marina stay was a special, short event, often to do laundry!

If you're interested, you can check out our blog. We'd also be happy to chat with you and your wife if we can help. It's such an amazing experience that we want everyone to have a taste of it. It changed us as a family and my daughter.
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Old 21-09-2020, 09:20   #41
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Re: Cruising without anchoring?

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Originally Posted by carstendenmark View Post
Creedence, teach your daughter to swim asap.
I'm soon going to teach my (soon 4 yo.) daughter that.
She loves to use her mask and snorkel in the bathtub already :-)


I taught my wife to swim, shortly after she became a PADI diver.

As a Florida baby, we've had her in lessons since she was 3! We have a pool, so it started as primarily a safety measure, but she's turned into a little fish. I swear she could spend all day/every day in the water if we let her. I can't tell you how excited I am to make SCUBA diving a part of her life once she's old (and mature) enough! And I know that's really going to enhance her experience on the water with me as she gets older. I did the same thing with my wife- she was terrified of the open water, but I got her dive certified when we lived in Hawaii, and there was no going back.

I know the young'n will really enjoy the cruising lifestyle, I just have to be deliberate with how I introduce it to her so it never starts to feel like a chore or "dad's thing".
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Old 21-09-2020, 09:21   #42
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Re: Cruising without anchoring?

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Originally Posted by Kenpimentel View Post
We left CT in 2013 with our 9 year old. We spent three years cruising the east coast and Bahamas with a side trip to Cuba. We spent a mix of time in marinas and anchoring out. It's fairly easy to do marinas in USA without missing too much, but there are some outstanding experiences that require dropping the hook. In the Bahamas, it was very rare for us to be in a marina because all the amazing places really depend on anchoring. A marina stay was a special, short event, often to do laundry!

If you're interested, you can check out our blog. We'd also be happy to chat with you and your wife if we can help. It's such an amazing experience that we want everyone to have a taste of it. It changed us as a family and my daughter.


Thanks for the link to your blog!! I love these family sailing blogs (for obvious reasons), I can't wait to give it a read. I'll be sure to reach out with questions.

Thanks again everyone for the great responses!
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Old 21-09-2020, 09:36   #43
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Re: Cruising without anchoring?

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Of course you can, and a lot of people do just that. Just crack the cruising guides and plan your passages appropriately.

Most of us really enjoy anchoring and enjoy the kinds of places you get to be in, by anchoring out. But only you can decide what YOU want to do. There's no law against spending all your nights in marinas.

I do recommend however that you practice anchoring and have some skill at it. Make sure you have decent ground tackle, upgrading it if necessary, and know how to use it. This is basic seamanship, and you need to have this capability -- there might be an occasion where you don't have any choice.

Took the words right out of my mouth. You only get good at using your ground tackle by using it. You only expose its defects or limitations by inspecting AND using it. Sooner or later you will need your anchor and rode, and spare anchor and rode, and it would be nice to be able to remember when you last used them successfully, especially used in robust weather conditions or dicey bottom conditions.Same goes for your windlass, if so equipped. Got spare parts? Can you use it both electrically and manually? That's a huge plus for boats this size. Absolutely mandatory IMHO for boats smaller. Got sufficient material for new snubbers or chafing gear or whatever? Alternate means of securing your anchor chain to the boat? A roll of suitably sized nylon, to splice to the end of your chain should you find yourself needing to anchor in deeper water? (practice your rope/chain joining technique!)



The more prepared you are, the better. If you never meet up with extreme conditions or emergencies or the unforseen, then you are a luckier man than me, and extra time and work and money thrown into prepping for things you would hope never occur might be wasted and you might feel silly about being ready for the anchorpocalypse that never happens. But it is better to feel stupid for having and never needing, than to feel stupid for needing and not having.


Personal choice. But hey if I was on an unlimited budget and cruising the Caribbean, I would be spending a lot of nights tied up in a slip, too. So I can definitely get where you are coming from. Shops, repair facilities, clubs, etc etc. I definitely get that. Shore power? Right on. Then again an anchorage can have a lot of charm. Most marinas, I would not care to bail overboard and swim around the boat. Ewwwww. Many anchorages, especially off the beaten track, are nice for swimming/diving/snorkeling/floating, fishing, etc. Plus, you just feel more independant when you are swinging on the hook and not rubbing a dock.
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Old 21-09-2020, 09:46   #44
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Re: Cruising without anchoring?

My wife is not fond of "anchoring off". We have of course done it many times out of necessity. But given her choice a nice marina with a good restaurant nearby is the preferred plan. Thus we make that our choice when we can. Which is 90% of the time.

We traveled from England, France, Spain, Maderia, Canaires, Windward Islands, Leeward Islands, BVI, USVI, Bahamas, Gulf Coast US, East Coast US over a 12 year period. Never had any issue finding what we wanted for marina dockage. If we kept a flexible attitude and read the cruising guides.

Never move the boat in anything but perfect weather with a crew that is not interested in that type of boat moving. (she did not do the Atlantic Crossing)

I have no doubt that you can move that boat from Tampa Southbound and have a wonderful experience. Just don't scare any of your crew and find the best dockage you can with some research. Just as you are doing now.

Prices will vary but all of them are "affordable" for a short time. Longer stays and lower prices are just more work to find. But not difficult unless you have a large catamaran or a mono over 45 feet. (I have had both.)
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Old 21-09-2020, 10:00   #45
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Re: Cruising without anchoring?

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My wife is not fond of "anchoring off". We have of course done it many times out of necessity. But given her choice a nice marina with a good restaurant nearby is the preferred plan. Thus we make that our choice when we can. Which is 90% of the time.

We traveled from England, France, Spain, Maderia, Canaires, Windward Islands, Leeward Islands, BVI, USVI, Bahamas, Gulf Coast US, East Coast US over a 12 year period. Never had any issue finding what we wanted for marina dockage. If we kept a flexible attitude and read the cruising guides.

Never move the boat in anything but perfect weather with a crew that is not interested in that type of boat moving. (she did not do the Atlantic Crossing)

I have no doubt that you can move that boat from Tampa Southbound and have a wonderful experience. Just don't scare any of your crew and find the best dockage you can with some research. Just as you are doing now.

Prices will vary but all of them are "affordable" for a short time. Longer stays and lower prices are just more work to find. But not difficult unless you have a large catamaran or a mono over 45 feet. (I have had both.)

You described my situation and intent to a tee!!! This is exactly how I’d propose to the family approaching the trip. Anchor when necessary or specifically desired, but not as a practice- more the exception than the rule.

Great to hear your feedback given your 12 years on that itinerary. Many thanks!!!

This really gives me a lot more confidence of the idea’s feasibility.
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