Cruiser Dating?

[Sofa King Fishy]

Being single, how does one connect with potential partners who have a desire to live aboard & cruise globally? Seems typical dating sites are a wash- has anyone found a suitable format geared towards coupling like minded sailors? …asking for a friend…��

[Don C L]

https://www.cruisersforum.com/forums...oul+mates.html

[Joh.Ghurt]

Originally Posted by Sofa King Fishy

Being single, how does one connect with potential partners who have a desire to live aboard & cruise globally? Seems typical dating sites are a wash- has anyone found a suitable format geared towards coupling like minded sailors? …asking for a friend…��

Tell you friend he should get cleaned up, be pleasant and interesting company and fun to be around.

Also tell him, there are a lot of women who enjoy a bit of adventure and are moderately flexible with their time. Your friend should get good at giving newbies enjoyable and safe first experiences sailing. This includes being calm and controlled when on board, no hectic, no yelling, no cursing, no red heads. If you - sorry your friend - has this down, he'll automatically earn +10 attractivity points.

Get your friend's ship in order. It doesn't have to be perfect, but it should be moderately clean an not a dump. Also try to get bad smells under control. Same got your friends appearance.

Go out and do social things. Best combine it with some physical activity to exchange the beer-keg with a six-pack.

If someone is interested, the progression of 2 works well:
2 hours, 2 days, 2 weeks

And most important: Don't be needy, desperate or negative. Nobody is interested in spending time with such people without being paid serious money.

Just answering to your friend.

[TooCoys]

onlysailors.com

[Joh.Ghurt]

https://www.segler-sucht-seglerin.de/

[goboatingnow]

Originally Posted by Joh.Ghurt

Tell you friend he should get cleaned up, be pleasant and interesting company and fun to be around.

Also tell him, there are a lot of women who enjoy a bit of adventure and are moderately flexible with their time. Your friend should get good at giving newbies enjoyable and safe first experiences sailing. This includes being calm and controlled when on board, no hectic, no yelling, no cursing, no red heads. If you - sorry your friend - has this down, he'll automatically earn +10 attractivity points.

Get your friend's ship in order. It doesn't have to be perfect, but it should be moderately clean an not a dump. Also try to get bad smells under control. Same got your friends appearance.

Go out and do social things. Best combine it with some physical activity to exchange the beer-keg with a six-pack.

If someone is interested, the progression of 2 works well:
2 hours, 2 days, 2 weeks

And most important: Don't be needy, desperate or negative. Nobody is interested in spending time with such people without being paid serious money.

Just answering to your friend.

So “women “ ( men ?) potential partners desire a non smelly boat , owned by a calm sailor with a six pack and no actual need for a companion

I think the “ serious money “ option might be looking attractive

[James M B]

www.lovesail.com has been around for awhile

[Joh.Ghurt]

Originally Posted by goboatingnow

So “women “ ( men ?) potential partners desire a non smelly boat , owned by a calm sailor with a six pack and no actual need for a companion

I think the “ serious money “ option might be looking attractive

Serious money is nice but not necessary. At least that's my experience. And yes, not needing a companion is making dating a lot easier. You can choose to share your life with someone because it's worth you time instead of chasing anyone not running away fast enough

Also when you do your thing and you can invite someone to share it, if she or he wants to and finds it worthwhile. Once this common base is there, it's a lot easier on the relationship. Worst thing I experienced are relationships where one or both of them need to change in order ot make it work. That's a guaranteed failure in the making.

[TooCoys]

Originally Posted by James M B

www.lovesail.com has been around for awhile

DAMN! I could get a new boat and a new man all in one trip. That's what I call customer service!

[valhalla360]

I would say probably 98% of cruising couples were couples before they were cruisers.

Are there exceptions...sure but the odds are not in your favor.

As mentioned, presenting a clean positive attitude is helpful. If you look like the typical single guy cruising, not many women will be interested.

Now if you are talking about casual local cruising (day sails, weekending if things go well), that's likely going to be easier. If you want to jump straight into cut the dock lines and sail away, that will scare off most.

[Joh.Ghurt]

Originally Posted by valhalla360

I would say probably 98% of cruising couples were couples before they were cruisers.

From what I see here in the marina (in Europe) for sailors, I think that would be overstating it. A very common story (I guess 1 out of 3) is that the man either started to sail after his divorce or wanted to go sailing and his wife didn't agree with this change of their relationship and filed for a divorce. He met his cruising partner only after he got his boat or they based their relationship on the plan to go cruising.

For the women, they often had a divorce and once the children left the nest, they became more adventurous and found a partner in a potential sailor.

As you can guess, this happens to be mostly the 50+ crowd, not the 30-50 age bracket. No idea how it is with people cruising on motor-yachts.

[Lepke]

Originally Posted by Joh.Ghurt

Worst thing I experienced are relationships where one or both of them need to change in order to make it work. That's a guaranteed failure in the making.

In my 70s, been on the water most of that time. Most couples I've seen on boats usually split. Most men put up with discomfort and inconvenience easily. Most women have a time limit on it. Young women eventually "gotta have a baby". And to most, a boat isn't good enough place for babies. Most older women, in time, usually miss the comfort of land, or they turn rabid.

So if you're a man, make your boat a nice place to visit and maybe later to live with. Dress like Sonny Crockett and carry a wad of $100 bills. They will find you. Oh, and get a vasectomy!

[goboatingnow]

Remember if it flies , floats or ......

[Celestialsailor]

Forget the dating sites. Forget the yacht clubs. Just go. What I found is when you go cruising and pull into a popular port and you are seen...they will come to you. I met a really nice gal on the way down to Mexico in San Luis Obispo. She still had shore responsibilities but met me at ports down along the way. In La Paz, Mx. I met a woman from England who was boat sitting a 50ft. Jeanneau. On the docks in ports you will find cruisers having all kinds of pot lucks and drinks. "They" are their looking as you are. You can't be a stiff. You have to be lite on your feet and able to have a conversation. I ran across a couple of younger female boat hitch hikers but I smelled trouble there. There are those too that signed up on a cruiser and things did not work out for them. If you run across that, talk to the former Capt. and the crew person. After an hour you will know where the real problem was.
First rule...You can take a nice woman who knows little about sailing and make her a competent sailor. But you cannot take a troublesome woman who knows how to sail and make her nice person. Good luck.

[Celestialsailor]

Originally Posted by Lepke

In my 70s, been on the water most of that time. Most couples I've seen on boats usually split. Most men put up with discomfort and inconvenience easily. Most women have a time limit on it. Young women eventually "gotta have a baby". And to most, a boat isn't good enough place for babies. Most older women, in time, usually miss the comfort of land, or they turn rabid.

So if you're a man, make your boat a nice place to visit and maybe later to live with. Dress like Sonny Crockett and carry a wad of $100 bills. They will find you. Oh, and get a vasectomy!

Spot on!