Cruiser Dating?

[wolfgal]

Originally Posted by thomm225

If you expect to date and cruise, you better have a condo, an apartment, or home besides the boat.

Very few women are going to want to date a "strange" man that only owns a boat.

Originally Posted by thomm225

If you expect to date and cruise, you better have a condo, an apartment, or home besides the boat.

Very few women are going to want to date a "strange" man that only owns a boat.

hmmm... thinking on this. you might be right, but perhaps we can open the angle on this perspective.

personally, i find life to be a constant tug-of-war between living passionately and having security. getting the ideal balance is the tough part.

most find themselves having to choose one over another at some moment in life. when one chooses cruising/sailing, it is definitely about passion.


so lets consider a passionate scenario:

imagine a gal who leaves everything (home, friends and maybe even job) to go cruising with a guy she likes on his boat. and they get half way around the world and, unfortunately, break up.
he can sail away. he has his home. but what about the girl?
she is half way around the world: maybe she finds herself stranded on some dock somewhere...?
she gave up her place back home: maybe she has no fall-back plan?
she gave up her job: maybe she is in a pinch financially?
she's got a bag of clothes and a pair of flip flops: maybe she is kicking herself around the room for allowing herself to become so vulnerable?


my opinion:for a female, finding a balance between passion an security is a much bigger challenge when she leaves everything to join a guy on his boat.


now for a scenario that, for me (as a female), has much more balance:

imagine a gal who has her own boat and lives aboard and sails. she can live her passion and has her own home too.

she has a condo or a bolthole somewhere, for just in case something happens with her health, with the boat, old age or whatever. if she rents it out during her absence, she's also got a bit of passive income.

while enjoying life sailing, she can keep her eye open for a potential partner. if she dates a guy who turns out to be not that great of a guy, she can invite him to leave her boat-home. if she finds that wonderful mate, they get to solve a two-boat pickle problem.

hope this helps



wolfie

[gamayun]

Originally Posted by Tetepare

Advertise that you’re employed. Women like that. Never indicate that you’re wealthy. If you are wealthy, lie and say employed.



Keep a bottle of white wine on the boat. A clean, newer shirt is a real plus.



If it all works out, THEN you can wear the same shorts for weeks, not shave, etc.

Superb (and realistic) suggestions, Tetepare

[gamayun]

Wolfie, you're on the right track. My ideal is to find a single guy with a boat who cruises the Southern Hemisphere while I cruise my boat in the Northern Hemisphere. I have a townhouse in Florida with a combo lock to come and go as needed and he might have one in New Zealand. Then, we'd spend 4 months on each other's boats and 4 months solo so we don't drive each other crazy. Or is that just a tad overly unrealistic?

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by thomm225

If you expect to date and cruise, you better have a condo, an apartment, or home besides the boat.

Very few women are going to want to date a "strange" man that only owns a boat.

You do lead a sheltered life..

[SVSOLITAIRE]

Originally Posted by gamayun

Wolfie, you're on the right track. My ideal is to find a single guy with a boat who cruises the Southern Hemisphere while I cruise my boat in the Northern Hemisphere. I have a townhouse in Florida with a combo lock to come and go as needed and he might have one in New Zealand. Then, we'd spend 4 months on each other's boats and 4 months solo so we don't drive each other crazy. Or is that just a tad overly unrealistic?

That sounds like the ideal! I’m sure any cruiser that fit those qualities would jumó at that.

[Tetepare]

Originally Posted by Fore and Aft

ShinyHappy LOL, your definitely an optimist, you would be the only person on this planet that would think an egg on legs dancing on the deck of a yacht could possibly be sexy.
Your right about a lot of guys being intimidated by a woman who are more competent then them.
Tetepare I always thought the fatter your wallet the sexier you looked?
Cheers

There are many women looking for a sugar daddy. They are high maintenance. Sailboats are enough high maintenance. I don’t need two. Do you?

Find one that can get soaking wet in a thunderstorm and come back. She will wax the hull, buy matching dishes, and put the finishing touch on your life.

[Tetepare]

Originally Posted by gamayun

Superb (and realistic) suggestions, Tetepare

Thank you, ma’am. I got lucky this time, I looked for a companion rather than a showpiece. And IMHO got both. She doesn’t brush her hair below deck, I don’t bitch about all the decorative pillows.

She wanted a larger boat, and put her foot down after my years of searching for the perfect boat. She got her boat. We are now negotiating storage space. I get the feeling I’m not the boss.

[Sailing55]

pm sent

[wolfgal]

Originally Posted by gamayun

Wolfie, you're on the right track. My ideal is to find a single guy with a boat who cruises the Southern Hemisphere while I cruise my boat in the Northern Hemisphere. I have a townhouse in Florida with a combo lock to come and go as needed and he might have one in New Zealand. Then, we'd spend 4 months on each other's boats and 4 months solo so we don't drive each other crazy. Or is that just a tad overly unrealistic?

check you out gamayun!

whereas two boats plus two land bases would likely be very demanding (yes, perhaps a tad unrealistic), i do see how preserving your personal passion/security balance could be beneficial to the relationship. not feeling dependent is important to me too.

yet, i'm less of a happy solitaire than you. i enjoy the team... so, if this was my situation, we'd probably sail the better of the two boats but with an agreement that allows each to land equally on his/her feet (or afloat) if things do not work out.

but... i get the feeling that you and i are exceptions to the rule. my observation is that the better part of the single females our age do focus on security, sometimes overly so.

and there are logical reasons: women are likely to have been paid less than men all their lives (well, i definitely was). with less income, most women have had to focus on security and forego passion, which is amplified by the kids/family years, as this tends to take precedence over career. then there's the wake-up call that happens around 49, when the mama-hormone starts to wane, and she asks herself 'what happened to my life: twenty years just passed!' only to find that being older doesn't help as far as carriers go. and, as we all know, there is a moment when we all must do the retirement math.

given this, it is easy to see how men are typically seen as a source of security. and yes, a guy living on a 35' sailboat doesn't really project a huge amount of security by most standards.

yet it is also true too that some women take security way too far, into the selfish, gold-digger, sugar daddy department (i agree wit Tetepare).

i recently had a huge spat with a woman i've known for a very long time because all she talks about is money. even though she owns homes and rents out apartments on two continents and got a huge chunk of cash so-far in her divorce, she always, always, always wants more. these days, she wants a summer place in a ritzy beach town with a personal pool (where her rich friends are buying places). and yes, she is taking pictures of herself in expensive clothing and posting them on the dating apps...

unfortunately, these types do exist, and amongst the men out there too. the only common trait i have noted amongst these is the tendency to compare oneself to others (and what they have and what they spend on) and be jealous of that and want the same.

for me, lifestyle envy is a heads up.

and along these same lines, i find that Eleanor Roosevelt was onto something when the pointed to how some people talk about ideas, while others discuss events, while others talk about other people.

for me, listening well and paying attention to what kinds of things the other talks about is a great place to start.

wolfie

[Uncle Bob]

Originally Posted by wolfgal

check you out gamayun!

whereas two boats plus two land bases would likely be very demanding (yes, perhaps a tad unrealistic), i do see how preserving your personal passion/security balance could be beneficial to the relationship. not feeling dependent is important to me too.

yet, i'm less of a happy solitaire than you. i enjoy the team... so, if this was my situation, we'd probably sail the better of the two boats but with an agreement that allows each to land equally on his/her feet (or afloat) if things do not work out.

but... i get the feeling that you and i are exceptions to the rule. my observation is that the better part of the single females our age do focus on security, sometimes overly so.

and there are logical reasons: women are likely to have been paid less than men all their lives (well, i definitely was). with less income, most women have had to focus on security and forego passion, which is amplified by the kids/family years, as this tends to take precedence over career. then there's the wake-up call that happens around 49, when the mama-hormone starts to wane, and she asks herself 'what happened to my life: twenty years just passed!' only to find that being older doesn't help as far as carriers go. and, as we all know, there is a moment when we all must do the retirement math.

given this, it is easy to see how men are typically seen as a source of security. and yes, a guy living on a 35' sailboat doesn't really project a huge amount of security by most standards.

yet it is also true too that some women take security way too far, into the selfish, gold-digger, sugar daddy department (i agree wit Tetepare).

i recently had a huge spat with a woman i've known for a very long time because all she talks about is money. even though she owns homes and rents out apartments on two continents and got a huge chunk of cash so-far in her divorce, she always, always, always wants more. these days, she wants a summer place in a ritzy beach town with a personal pool (where her rich friends are buying places). and yes, she is taking pictures of herself in expensive clothing and posting them on the dating apps...

unfortunately, these types do exist, and amongst the men out there too. the only common trait i have noted amongst these is the tendency to compare oneself to others (and what they have and what they spend on) and be jealous of that and want the same.

for me, lifestyle envy is a heads up.

and along these same lines, i find that Eleanor Roosevelt was onto something when the pointed to how some people talk about ideas, while others discuss events, while others talk about other people.

for me, listening well and paying attention to what kinds of things the other talks about is a great place to start.

wolfie

Hi, all I can say is go girl go.

[valhalla360]

Originally Posted by Spot

If we are honest there are still many perceptions and prejudices and stereotypes between genders and people in general.

This is a key point...it's impractical to get to know every person you meet in depth so when looking at potential mates, people use short cuts.

Might be right, might be wrong but it's reality.

No, you don't want to be fake because eventually, your true self will come out but you do want to make a good first impression.

[valhalla360]

Originally Posted by Tetepare

Note that the one in a bikini with a drink on somebody’s Cigarette boat might look good, but is nothing but trouble.

Yeah but are they good kind of trouble?

[Spot]

"People all over the world (everybody)
Join hands (join)
Start a love train, love train"
The O'Jays - Love Train

[laird]

Originally Posted by gamayun

As to what women want, which might help here in addition to getting cleaned up on occasion, is if guys would be more inquisitive and curious about the world. For example, I have a line in a dating profile where I say I do blackwater/public safety diving. Do you know absolutely no one has ever asked me about this? into....

Dang ,that's where I got it wrong on dating sites , I should have explained the part about swimming through poop and nappies amongst other stuff

Ex commercial diver here

[laird]

Originally Posted by ben2go

I've been sober since May 2006. I also have high functioning autism so I can't do crowds or large social gatherings. When I start traveling by boat, I'll spend most of my time sailing and very little time inland. I prefer the water.

Good man ,one day at a time ,I've been sober since 1994