Comfort Levels on the Water

[Bash]

Originally Posted by sarafina

I am a bit concerned it's too much, too soon, given that he is just finding his way, but he is confident that he can go and have a good experience.

We've got another month of light air before summer blows in. Better to build confidence now so that by the time it gets breezy, he's made friends with the wind gods.

[deckofficer]

Originally Posted by In Training

Sarafina:

Thank you for this posting. So many people share only the positive and don't go into the detail about the rough start. It makes me feel good to know there are others who are slow to get comfortable with sailing. I hope my husband will be as understanding as you are being.

Thank you. Thank you.

You might be pleased to know of the situation of two sets of friends of mine, one set active here on CF and will remain nameless. The husband for both sets was the one that wanted to sail, as both were learning, both the wives became more comfortable and hence better sailors.

With the current crop of young teenage girls who have solo circumnavigated, maybe women are just better sailors.

Now I must prepare myself for flaming, but before anyone does, my senior year at California Maritime Academy, our Commander of the Corp was a young lady named Sade, first female in the Academy's history to have that rank.

[Rakuflames]

Originally Posted by ohdrinkboy

Sounds like you are making progress. My wife had a big fear of sailing and harnessing the wind. For the first year, I told her not to worry about sailing, but just go for the ride and get used to riding on the boat. Then sent her to sailing school without me. Afterwards, I let her be the captain and the only time I would overrule her was in the case of immediate danger to the crew or boat.

It was hard for me to give up control and shut up, but it was the best way for her to learn and grow. Otherwise she would feel like she was always doing it incorrectly. Reality is there are lots of ways to get it done.

Fair winds.

You did the right thing. The ONLY way to learn to sail is to do it. If someone is constantly right behind you "critiquing" your every move, and then changing what you just did, you are not sailing the boat AND you're experiencing constant one-upsmanship and criticism. Who would want to do that?

When I do a long sail everyone gets a turn at the helm, and when at the helm, that person calls all the shots. There is never an issue of who knows the most or who owns the boat except in a TRUE emergency. Anyone who can't take turns in the sandbox won't be invited back on my boat.

[chas5131]

Originally Posted by TeddyDiver

Don't you have a lot of nice beaches around, perfect for sailboarding. Best way to gain self confidence for sailing IMHO

That is an excellent idea.
Took my intended on a paddleboard trip through rapids on the Colorado River after he had paddled a bit on day on a calm lake.
I think that may make sailing easier to take.

[DeepFrz]

Sara, how have things worked out???

[sarafina]

Originally Posted by DeepFrz

Sara, how have things worked out???

Thanks for asking ; -)

Himself went for that crash course, he and another young woman (who turned out to be pretty wimpy) went out with Mary for 3 days. Got him the first 2 certificates?

He had a really good experience, and while there were a few times he got a bit tight, over all Mary did a great job of pacing things so that he was able to work thru them, rather than being overwhelmed by them.

He came back impressed by how much he actually does know, and how easy it was, under the right circumstances, to apply the book learning to the organic experience and put into play his understanding of sailing.

Shortly after that we ripped the Cal open for a long planned overhaul and my Dad came up with heart problems that consumed a fair bit of time and energy.

What with slaving on the boat, and caring for Dad, Himself has had little time for sailing over the last 2 months. I had a number of trips as well, including the Cruise From Hell, and have been gone a fair amount of time.

It has been in my head that I need to nudge him into going back for those Wednesday evening sails, to keep his hand in it. Want to build on that confidence! The winds are big this time of year and I am hearing less "The wind is our friend" these days and more "Not my kind of sailing day" when he looks out at the chop.

Back into the estuary for him asap!

And please God, let the boat get done... in this lifetime ; -)

[tbodine88]

If only the rest of us land locked folks had access to such good intruction as those available in SF Bay.

[belizesailor]

Originally Posted by sarafina

So, it has been an ongoing struggle for us, finding a way to actually get OUT on the water....

...

So I think we have a starting place now. Our current goal is to finish up some work on the Cal28 so she, and we, will be ready for the Delta Doodah this July.

I think we will be ; -)

Wow, quite a post...and a challenge for a relationship. I think many potentially cruisers overlook how trying "living the dream" can be on a relationship. I hope you and "himself" are feeling better today.

I've been lucky. Met my late wife during a regatta and my current GF already wanted to be a cruiser....now she is!

Small world: GF used to live on the Delta and I spent some time there last year. Oh, and I know Mary.