Boat Truths

[sailormed]

1. All leaks will always appear untracable.
2. When you trace it finally the origin will be unreachable.
3. When you finally attain it (after having torn apart half of the boat) for plugging it will only leak again after the intérior rebuilding is complete.

[Sailmonkey]

Originally Posted by sailormed

1. All leaks will always appear untracable.

2. When you trace it finally the origin will be unreachable.

3. When you finally attain it (after having torn apart half of the boat) for plugging it will only leak again after the intérior rebuilding is complete.

There will always be one leak who’s origin is unlocatable and does not manifest with a hose.

[sagablu]

Don't worry honey, this repair will only take an hour.

[OldManMirage]

Originally Posted by Alan Mighty

The core of the "boat truth" is that boats are members of something that is outside the canonical categories of animate and inanimate.

Whatever the name of that category to which boats belong, the relevant core truth is that boats demand blood.

In Europe, the tradition of smearing blood on parts of a boat at its first launch was foolishly discarded. What followed was pouring red wine over the boat. When the Roman church complained that smearing the boat in red wine was a mockery of its communion rite, white wine and bubbly white wine were substituted.

In the Maritime Continent, the home to the largest fleets under sail ever assembled on this planet, sacrificial blood (and squeals) were always seen as essential.

For that matter, blood is similarly seen as essential for airplanes (see: Nepal Airlines Sacrificed A Pair Of Goats It Fix Its Broken Jet - Business Insider ) and electronic games (see : https://www.cnet.com/news/sony-offer...to-god-of-war/ ).

To sum up:

your boat demands blood.

You can give blood freely, or your boat will take blood from your shins, your toes, your fingers, or your forehead at times your boat chooses.

Man I'll second this one. When I go down to my boat I just cut through any guessing games, whip out my knife and give myself a good nick somewhere and get it over with. She's usually very happy after that. I should rename her "Vampirilla."

(I'm just kidding baby. I love you just the way you are !)

[Meanderthal]

We are ready to go; just one more project.

[sailorboy1]

We can leave the hatches open tonight, the weather people say it's not going to rain.

[GordMay]

Originally Posted by sailorboy1

If you can drink 3 margaritas, you need to invest in larger drinking glasses

Which reminds me of:

The optimist will say that the glass is half-full.

The pessimist will say that the glass is half-empty.

And while they are arguing, the pragmatist takes the glass and drinks it.

The engineer will say that the glass is 2 times bigger than it needs to be.

The politician will say that the glass would be more empty if the opposition were in charge.

The fanatic will say that the glass is full, even though it isn't.

The IT support person will say that you should try emptying the glass and then refilling it.

The business analyst would want the air at the bottom and the liquid at the top to make it more accessible.

The alcoholic ignores the glass and goes for the bottle.

The realist says the glass contains half the required amount of liquid for it to overflow.

And the cynic... wonders who drank the other half.

Anyway... Attitude is not about whether the glass is half full or half empty, it's about who is paying for the next round.

[settlednomad]

- The wind arrives. You hoist the sails and kill the engine. Last turn of the winch on the main...flap, flap, flap. Where did that f**king wind go!?

[sailorchic34]

The propane runs out only when your baking dinner in the oven, and it raining.

Any leak in the water system, will happen in the most inaccessible place on the boat

That halyard your secured from banging against the mast, starts banging at 3 am.

Strong wind "events" always seem to start around 8pm....

If you drop a screwdriver or nut on the deck it will bounce 4 feet and fall overboard. Every Damn time....

Your $300 water proof foul weather jacket isn't.

[Don C L]

The fantastic find on Craigslist or eBay will be gone the day before the pay check hits the bank.

[44'cruisingcat]

Originally Posted by sailorboy1

There’s no such thing as “too big” a margarita

My wife made experimental margaritas once. One sip and my face went numb.

[44'cruisingcat]

When you're searching in a locker for part A, part B will keep getting in the way. Next day, when you need part B, it's nowhere to be found.

[Gene Neill]

Originally Posted by OldManMirage

When I go down to my boat I just cut through any guessing games, whip out my knife and give myself a good nick somewhere and get it over with. She's usually very happy after that. I should rename her "Vampirilla."

I'll bet you get interesting looks from your dock neighbors when they happen to witness you doing that.

[Group9]

If you drop something on the deck, or dock, you really need, there is a 90 per cent chance, it will bounce toward the overboard side.

[Group9]

Originally Posted by OldManMirage

Man I'll second this one. When I go down to my boat I just cut through any guessing games, whip out my knife and give myself a good nick somewhere and get it over with. She's usually very happy after that. I should rename her "Vampirilla."

(I'm just kidding baby. I love you just the way you are !)

I do something similiar when I am about to work on our boat. I pick out an old wrench or screwdriver, that I have two of, and throw it over the side, hoping the sacrifice will save a more valuable tool.