Boat Truths

[John_Trusty]

Everyone on an internet forum who tells you that a repair or installation will cost $xxx or take only so many hours, is LYING! It will take at least twice as much of each.

There's a reason that "cuss like a sailor" is a common phrase in English!

[janice142]

Mother used to say "The ideal boat sleeps two, feeds four and drinks six. "

[Korvessa]

Originally Posted by dfelsent

And the next time you are doing a wiring project and need those same connectors you remember and don’t buy them.
But back aboard you can’t find them anywhere.
Until after you buy more. Again.

I wonder how many boats have sunk from the weight of all this excess lugs and connectors and few of a kind nuts bolts and screws?

We should organize a raft up where we all swap excess connectors. I know I've got about 40 female 10-20AWG spade connectors and not a single male one.

[Group9]

Fuel filters have hidden sensors, that always allow them to clog up at the worst possible time. Why they were designed this way, is anyone's guess. Racor plays dumb when you ask them about it.

[justakiss]

Originally Posted by sagablu

Don't worry honey, this repair will only take an hour.

This is why we've come up with a new name for our future boat. We had something cute and funny, but have settled on 'EAFP'.

Everything's
A
F--king
Project

[2big2small]

The day you finally give in and dare to wear your best T-shirt is when an oil leak will spring.

[frozenhawaiian]

I didn't read through the entire 5 pages of the thread so I apologize if there are some repeats but here are mine.

-when there's a deck leak it will always be over a mattress or some piece of electronic gear.

-when the head breaks it will always be after someone goes number 2, not number 1.

-you will always catch and have to clean a fish right after you've showered and have put on clean clothes.

- the nut you need to get at on the engine will always be just out of reach of your longest extension.

-the tool you drop into the bilge will the the one tool you didn't bring a spare of.

-you'll always have to dodge a fleet of fishing boats at night, never during the day.

-your outboard will always refuse to start when you're in an anchorage far from the dinghy dock.

[LoudMusic]

All your friends and family will ask if you're worried about pirates.

[CaptTom]

- That slick, new piece of electronic gear will always go on "clearance" sale right after you buy it.
- The manufacturer will immediately list it as "legacy" and drop support before you even have it installed.
- It will continue to work, frustratingly lacking all the great features of the "new" model, until the day after the warranty expires.

[Goingbuddha]

I don't know if this applies to boats, but it always applied to my cars. I almost never buy myself personal items. Fluff....I'm terrified that the universe will punish me with unexpected expenses and I spent money on myself. My wife always makes fun of me. I was ogling some cheap fountain pens, on Ebay and my wife asked why I didn't just buy them. I told her I was scared.....she reached across my desk and clicked buy. The next morning the starter went on my Honda. I didn't buy anything for the next two years.

[Steadman Uhlich]

Originally Posted by Goingbuddha

I don't know if this applies to boats, but it always applied to my cars. I almost never buy myself personal items. Fluff....I'm terrified that the universe will punish me with unexpected expenses and I spent money on myself. My wife always makes fun of me. I was ogling some cheap fountain pens, on Ebay and my wife asked why I didn't just buy them. I told her I was scared.....she reached across my desk and clicked buy. The next morning the starter went on my Honda. I didn't buy anything for the next two years.

Good story.

To prevent this, make more frequent voluntary sacrifices (coin, blood, or drink) to Neptune.

[SV Bacchus]

That new guy on CF asks "Why can't I do such and such?" i.e. convert a Lagoon 560 into electric drive and run it off flashlight batteries. 350 people tell him why he can't and he wants to argue with each one why he can as if his mind was made up before ever asking the questions!

[SV Bacchus]

Originally Posted by SV Bacchus

That new guy on CF asks "Why can't I do such and such?" i.e. convert a Lagoon 560 into electric drive and run it off flashlight batteries. 350 people tell him why he can't and he wants to argue with each one why he can as if his mind was made up before ever asking the questions!

I guess this was more a CF truth than a sailing truth but I think we can all relate..

[laika]

The world is ugly if you're upside down.

Talking about a plan is the best way to guarantee it will never happen.

That lonely boat far on the horizon will end up anchored 10 ft away from you.

[Fence Man]

The pump on the local marina's honey wagon barge will be out of service.....when you desperately need to empty the holding tanks.