Challenge: Would You Have Helped ?

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by boatman61

the French boat, after the ramming reversed away for some distance then shot off leaving me with a 4ft vertical split in the hull by my stbd shrouds and a 14+ft split in the hull/deck join...

I find that unbeleiveable and sad

this guy comes wandering up and asked if I was the guy with no engine and couldn't sail...
The Harbour Master confirmed that I was.. whereupon he said, in his best Oxford English.."I heard the all ships, I was about 2 miles away.. but decided that someone who had no engine and could not sail had no right being out there... so I told my crew we'd let the stupid fool sort out his own mess"..

I find that quite beleivable. But still sad.

[SabreKai]

I make it a point to assist any boat if they need it. If I see that there are already several people moving to assist, then I'll watch to see if they still need help. If however I get attitude from the person I'm trying to help, I'll just quietly back away and let them sort it out until asked for help.

I like to think that doing this will someday be paid back when I am in deep kimchee and need help myself.

Sabre

[slowroll]

The offer of help and the other parties pride often lead to a less than positive out come. IE...You can lead a horse to water, but can't make him drink....

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by slowroll

The offer of help and the other parties pride often lead to a less than positive out come. IE...You can lead a horse to water, but can't make him drink....

Or....Pride Cometh Before a FALL.......
Anyone offers me help I'll accept with thanks... even if I do not really need it... its a great ice breaker
Its a wise Seaman who accepts... its a stupid fool who does not..

[sarafina]

You have nothing to lose by offering help.

If you offer it and it is refused then either they don't need it, no harm, no foul, or they do need it and are idiots. Either way you have lost nothing.

If you offer it and it is accepted then you have a win win. You get to help and they get helped. and everyone is happy and maybe they have similar taste in wine to yours and offer to open a bottle and share. In which case you now have a new friend.

If you offer and they are rude then they are an ass and you don't care what they think anyway!

[mintyspilot]

Sarafina // Boatman61 - I agree. A genuine offer is only rebuffed by a fool. Someone worth their salt will either accept or decline politely. In my current "hobby" I always offer to help or pitch in. The result is that I get to know a lot of people wherever I go and I often get invites or offers out of the blue. Others (who don't pitch in) wonder how I am so "lucky" when they miss out on return favours.

What goes round, comes round....

[kismet]

Originally Posted by Rubikoop

Dockhead thanks for your thoughtful reply. I can understand how you interpreted the post, albeit was truly not my intent. Levity by it's nature can be entertaining and you took my attempts in a direction I hadn't intended. Had my goal been to write a scathingly vindictive post I would have used boat name, date and location with photos that I took of the beautiful vessel. I don't recall making any verbal comments regarding those onboard beyond referring to the age, sex and positions on the vessel based on observations. I am glad I didn't put a smug post up the day, week or even month after this happened. Perhaps then someone might have been able to place this incident causing undue embarrassment to the persons involved. Not that I want to debate my lack of writing skills but rather I would like to have an actual discussion regarding what to do, or not, and why.

How would you have written the account??

A boat was unable to grab a mooring ball. I helped. Would you?

That describes the facts but neglects to add details to clearly answer. IMHO.

What about the other 30 or so boats in the mooring field who didn't lend assistance? I've re-thought the situation repeatedly and wondered what others would do in the same situation. When one offers to assist in a situation where no life or vessel is in immediate danger, one is assuming a certain level of risk. Does that risk make sense? If so, why? If not, why?

So yes, I am interested regarding the question of rendering assistance in situations like this.

considering the situation, without regard to the affected Capt. feelings, I would have helped. Better safe for all.

[skipperaris]

Originally Posted by Pelagic

Personally, I am all for allowing skippers to make mistakes, since that is part of the freedom of owning a boat and learning how to handle it.

There was a time when I would not hesitate to be critical of another person's actions and would have gone ahead and offered help.

Then came the slightly wiser attitude of thinking that it always looks easier from afar but would still offer help.

The next major step in my development came after I was actually verbally abused for offering help. People would feel slighted at the suspicion that their performance was judged. I would still offer help if asked.

Now I would regard such a situation as a learning experience for both the struggling skipper who did not quite make it and for me as an onlooker.

I would only offer help if I felt the other person was in a dangerous situation, like the monohull yacht that was approaching my anchorage which would have been too shallow for them. I was skippering a shallow draft catamaran...

Similarly I yelled with all the force in my lungs to the people on a yacht going at hull speed with a tail wind "through" what looks like a passage between two islands. They returned my call with abuse, seconds before their yacht came to an abrupt halt.

Interestingly there was no damage to their ship.

So my answer to the OP question is "maybe", Probably yes...

[boatman61]

Just say a simple "Hello mate.. hows it going... would you like a hand... what can I do...??"
Their command/abilities not threatened, they've been acknowledged as Boss.. there-on in they're more open to suggestions on what to do...
Make a new friend and crack a can....

[skipperaris]

Originally Posted by boatman61

Just say a simple "Hello mate.. hows it going... would you like a hand... what can I do...??"
Their command/abilities not threatened, they've been acknowledged as Boss.. there-on in they're more open to suggestions on what to do...
Make a new friend and crack a can....

What you say sounds Ok and I would understand it but an amazing number of people out there might feel you are intruding, too forward and/or acting with ulterior motives.

[S/V Antares]

We see this all winter in the tight harbor we stay in. If I am in my dink I often help even if thery are having no difficulty. There are folks out there with inexperienced crew/family on board or "new to them" charter boats picking up a mooring for the first time.

It has often lead to a cocktail or bottle of wine, and enduring friendships.

If some old buzzard tells you "bugger off" then the entertainment value is that much better. I think this year I will pass out point cards to my fellow liveaboards so we can score the mooring attempts like a diving competition.