Visit our Popular Forums

goboatingnow · 15-11-2012, 10:55

I find it strange that , people who would trade a relationship for a sail, should then complain that they went through 3 failed relationships. If you value you companion, you'll find a solution , otherwise you,ll have to keep seeking companions. Good luck with that .

Dave

Celestialsailor · 15-11-2012, 11:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bash

When Wonderblond and I got hitched, the whole point was to share each other's adventures for a lifetime. We've logged thousands of scuba dives together, and at least a thousand days sailing. We lived together on a boat for more than a decade. Part of that adventure has been to support each other in our careers. I worked while she attended grad school, and then she worked while I did.

We haven't done everything together: she passed when it came to sailboat racing; I gave up rock climbing long before she did. Even after 35 years of marriage, she can't get me to join her jogging, and I can't get her to sit still for more than an hour of birding at any given time.

Part of the reason we love sailing together is that we work it as a team. There's absolutely no captain/1st mate relationship. If either one of us wants to reef, we reef. Much of the time we let the autopilot do the work and both end up reading. A great life. If the sails need trimming, sooner or later one of us will get around to it.

In my experience, a lot of the fellows who complain about being unable to recruit sailing partners aren't really looking for partners. They're looking for crew. I understand why women fail to get excited about such a prospect. There's nothing exciting about perpetual subservience.

Great post and I find it very encouraging when you say "There's absolutely no captain/1st mate relationship". That in itself spells trust in one another. I know my friend has a sizable learning curve in front of her and I am encouraged by all the questions she asks. I'm confident, in time, all the new knowledge on both our parts will translate into a comfortable routine on the boat and spill over into life in general.

**Hudson Force** · 15-11-2012, 11:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bash

.................Part of the reason we love sailing together is that we work it as a team. There's absolutely no captain/1st mate relationship. If either one of us wants to reef, we reef. Much of the time we let the autopilot do the work and both end up reading. A great life. If the sails need trimming, sooner or later one of us will get around to it..............................

This sounds much like what's happening on our deck; however, we do find that there are times that require an immediate decisive action. Nancie and I long ago determined that the "captain" is the one who is at the helm with their hands on the wheel.

sailorboy1 · 15-11-2012, 14:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bash

If either one of us wants to reef, we reef. Much of the time we let the autopilot do the work and both end up reading. A great life. If the sails need trimming, sooner or later one of us will get around to it.

My wife and I sail the same basic way! Maybe it is a common thing for "H" boat sailors!

propellanttech · 15-11-2012, 15:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by Don Lucas

My wife and I sail the same basic way! Maybe it is a common thing for "H" boat sailors!

I think that is a good idea, and a prudent way to sail. It makes everyone feel like their input is valid and taken seriously.

We too will sail this way, when we get there.

From another person to be in the "H" crowd.

James L

**Hudson Force** · 15-11-2012, 16:47

"H"?...........please don't say this is code for Hunters. If so, I'm an "M",- and not Morris or Mercer! ........and I thought I was so much with you guys. You don't plan to be exclusive, right? Halberg Rassey?

Celestialsailor · 15-11-2012, 16:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaptForce

"H"?...........please don't say this is code for Hunters. If so, I'm an "M",- and not Morris or Mercer! ........and I thought I was so much with you guys. You don't plan to be exclusive, right? Halberg Rassey?

Hey!!!...I'm an HR. Hope I'm not seen as exclusive!

sailorboy1 · 15-11-2012, 17:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaptForce

"H"?...........please don't say this is code for Hunters. If so, I'm an "M",- and not Morris or Mercer! ........and I thought I was so much with you guys. You don't plan to be exclusive, right? Halberg Rassey?

we'll just say that Charlie's great great great uncle was Henry Morgan, this way you can make a claim to an "H"

David_Old_Jersey · 15-11-2012, 17:11

I think the answer is something to do with buckets.......

wingNwing · 15-11-2012, 17:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bash

...
Part of the reason we love sailing together is that we work it as a team. There's absolutely no captain/1st mate relationship. If either one of us wants to reef, we reef. Much of the time we let the autopilot do the work and both end up reading. A great life. If the sails need trimming, sooner or later one of us will get around to it.

In my experience, a lot of the fellows who complain about being unable to recruit sailing partners aren't really looking for partners. They're looking for crew. I understand why women fail to get excited about such a prospect. There's nothing exciting about perpetual subservience.

This sounds like us, too. We'd already been together about 15 years when we discovered sailing. Before that, we'd been skiiers, backpackers, canoers, so shared a common love of playing outdoors, and willing to be a tad uncomfortable in search of new adventures. We learned to sail together, learned the same way from the same teacher. That's not to say that we haven't evolved different areas of expertise; he's the better sail trimmer, I'm the better navigator, for example. We avoid any conflict by agreeing to this S.O.P. beforehand: whoever has the more conservative approach, "wins." If one wants to reef and the other doesn't - we reef. If one wants to try a local knowledge shortcut and the other wants to honor all the buoys - we go the long way 'round. Etc.

Must be okay, we've been liveaboard for 10 years and counting.

**Hudson Force** · 15-11-2012, 17:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by Celestialsailor

Hey!!!...I'm an HR. Hope I'm not seen as exclusive!

I love the Halberg Rassey and that's why they would hold the esteemed position as exclusive to me!
.............and thanks, Don Lucas, I'll claim the "Henry"!

Celestialsailor · 15-11-2012, 17:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaptForce

I love the Halberg Rassey and that's why they would hold the esteemed position as exclusive to me!
.............and thanks, Don Lucas, I'll claim the "Henry"!

My HR is one of the older ones. Somewhat plain-Jane compared to their luxurious recent models. But in their day were considered quite nice. My lady is quite attached to it.

Auzzee · 15-11-2012, 18:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by defjef

This is yet another silly thread...

Yet, you posted the longest response...

propellanttech · 15-11-2012, 18:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaptForce

"H"?...........please don't say this is code for Hunters. If so, I'm an "M",- and not Morris or Mercer! ........and I thought I was so much with you guys. You don't plan to be exclusive, right? Halberg Rassey?

I thought we were going for "have boat will travel"...........

Sorry.....I never did fit in.

James L