Weird Question- Swinger Propositions

[minaret]

Originally Posted by Dulcesuenos

Just waiting for this to turn to a discussion about sealing bungholes any time now,,,,,,,


Sent from my LG-LS980 using Cruisers Sailing Forum mobile app

If you're going into one of those swingers clubs, you may want to seal yer bunghole, just in case. Unless you're into that sort of thing, in which case more power to ya!

[DeepFrz]

If they are happy and committed to each other though, why would they be miserable?

If they are happy and committed to each other then why are they looking for escape in someone else?

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by DeepFrz

If they are happy and committed to each other then why are they looking for escape in someone else?

Conversation gets boring once you learn all their answers..??
Caviars great.. but beans iz nice now and then..??

[jtsailjt]

Originally Posted by boatman61

Conversation gets boring once you learn all their answers..??
Caviars great.. but beans iz nice now and then..??

When I was single I was propositioned by a married woman with her husband (whom I knew had numerous affairs during the time I had known him) also present and seemingly approving of her query. It felt really weird and I just said I wouldn't be comfortable with doing that and the conversation moved on. Why would I want to get involved in something that complicated when I was single and there was no shortage of single women to date?

I've only ever known 2 men who had each been swingers with their ex-wives and obviously neither of those marriages lasted, but maybe they wouldn't have anyway.

If you think "caviar's nice, but beans iz nice now and then," maybe you just haven't yet found the right kind of caviar that suits you? I'd hate to think that my wife felt that way about me and I can't begin to imagine feeling that way about her. But I guess marriage and commitment means different things to different people.

[Island Time O25]

I have close friends, a couple, who are into the lifestyle so to speak. Her ex-husband introduced her to it in the late 90s. They divorced in the mid 2000s (not because of it but it did not help) and she married a guy, part of a couple they knew from the club. That couple also divorced but not because of this new relationship. So it does take all kinds.

Also through them I got to know many other couples from their lifestyle life. In my observation, for many of them swinging was not to spice up the marriage but to save it. Many (most?) at the outset had two or more children, businesses, properties etc. which I guess they were afraid to lose more than they were afraid of swinging. And the funniest thing which I have been told by many of them that the initial impetus to swing came usually from the guy yet it was inevitably the guy who would later be more upset and would try to get them out of the lifestyle. So I guess be afraid of what you wish for is my take on this swinging thing.

[Pelagic]

Perhaps this is a multi huller trend that monohulled semen have deep rooted aversion to

(Sorry hard to take this thread seriously)

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by Pelagic

(Sorry hard to take this thread seriously)

Seems pretty easy to some.. and they get huffy...

[BandB]

Originally Posted by valhalla360

What exactly is the "difference"?

The potential for impact on a long term relationship. Single there is nothing to be messed up. Married regardless of agreement going in, often times it ends up backfiring.

[ALIAS]

WANTED

Wanted position as sex slave with 25-30yr slim babe with long legs and smallish perky rack.

Must have own 39'+ Cat.

Able to clean fish and do gourmet cooking would also be nice.


Oh, btw Guys being a newbie here I wasn't sure if I should have put this in the classified section.

[19 and counting]

Originally Posted by jongleur

Davy's Dinghy:

perfect nailed it just came home from a night on a bayfront
patio with a random bunch of musicians on guitars and this just seems so right!

[colemj]

Slutter rig???

Mark

[BandB]

i think we need to be careful not to lump all swingers. While my general perception of them isn't favorable, that's really thinking of swinger clubs and large gatherings. There are those discrete and more selective quiet couples who choose to occasionally do it with close friends. Now the persons who just walk up and ask you without knowing you, I wouldn't put in that group. Here's my reasoning. In spite of the fact you might have been flattered, they just showed you there aren't very selective, that it's simply recreational to them and it's really with anyone they can find. That shoots the risks up dramatically.

A huge difference between that and the two otherwise conservative couples who have been friends for years and develop an interest in each other. Among those I'd imagine in a few cases it deepens the friendship and in more cases it destroys the friendship if not the marriages.

It's to each their own, but just a lot of inherent dangers. The thought of sex with a stranger just doesn't appeal to us. For us it would have to be out of a loving relationship of some type.

[valhalla360]

Originally Posted by BandB

The potential for impact on a long term relationship. Single there is nothing to be messed up. Married regardless of agreement going in, often times it ends up backfiring.

So a 19yr old girl confuses lust for love, winds up knocked up, the guy "does the right thing"....5yrs later 2kids in tow and they finaly give up because they were never compatible and that's not messed up?

On the other hand a couple talks about it ahead of time decides what is and is not allowed, takes precautions and that is more likely to cause problems?

Life if full of things that could go wrong. Ironically moving onto a boat and sailing off into the sunset can backfire but most people won't tell people who've thought it out first that they shouldn't do it.

[valhalla360]

We actually know some couples in the lifestyle and they actually talked us into going to a party one time. The rules at this party limit it to flirting and a little snogging on the dance floor (think wedding reception without your immediate family present). If you want it to go further you take it elsewhere (there are clubs that go further).

The intersting thing was the newbies were asked to arrive a 1/2hr early and some of the people running it went over the rules and answered any questions before the party started.

A big part of the Q&A was talking about jealousy, trust and discussing what is and is not allowed beforehand as key points to sort out ahead of time and to leave the option to stop if someone gets uncomfortable. One of the ladies explained it's like angelfood cake:
- Angelfood cake is good all by itself and no one will think you crazy if you like it plain.
- Some people like it better with some icing dribbled on top.
- If you switch the sugar for salt when making the cake, it won't be edible with our without icing. (in otherwords, the lifestyle isn't going to make a bad relationship better)

While we chose to limit our activities and haven't been back to the party, people were generally happy, normal and I see no reason for a couple who thinks it thru beforehand and has a strong healthy relationship to worry.