Spouse hates my boat

[Julie Mor]

Originally Posted by weavis

I always figured that when you were in a hole, stop digging.

There's a very short story by Portia Nelson. Your comment reminded me of it.

Chapter 1:
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2:
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out.

Chapter 3:
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.

Chapter 4:
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter 5:
I walk down another street.

[Niagara Les]

Originally Posted by ntscout

Looking for help understanding this. Almost cried today when I faxed the signed listing over to the broker. Now I am lost, I don't have any other hobbies or interests. I almost feel like a close friend has died.

THIS, almost made me cry...

Good luck to you my friend, we all feel for you.

[scotty c-m]

Here's a nice song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O75SCSbUjDk

Scotty

[ravinracin]

There seems to be no question about how important the boat is, very, very important. The question should be how important is the wife, marriage thing that most men find them self in. I loved women very much throughout my life, I worked very hard to keep a woman in my life. Now that I am getting closer to the end I look back and think why? A wife is a pain in the a88. Marriage is a pain in the a88. Kids are a pain in the a88. Working you tail off supporting this whole wifey/marriage/kid thing is crazy. Men have been hoodwinked into thinking this is the thing, right thing to do. How many times have you ever wanted to be doing things with the guys or your particular guy thing but have been doing wifey/marriage/kid things? Shopping, yard work, soccer practice, church, in-laws, on and on and on. You could be sitting on the boat having a beer with the guys and really enjoying yourself. At age 20 women were so necessary, at 69, not so much. At 20, that shapely winch was worth so much. At 69, they are still very nice to look at, but not worth so much when you realize what comes with them. It takes a lot out of a man to support one of those women. I am constantly amazed at how devious, unscrupulous and manipulative a woman can be to get what she wants. I am in a position where I can stand back and observe this behavior and occasionally kick myself for falling for it all these years. Are they worth it? Most think so. To me? No way, I just wish I had woken up from that spell many years ago. I know this post will tick off a lot of women, and I shouldn't be judging them all, but it is my humble old opinion. OP you asked for advice. Do you really need this whole marriage thing? Would you rather answer only to yourself and enjoy your boat, life? It is your call and your happiness. If you get to keep your boat with her permission, will you really be happy next year with the compromises you will have to make? Get on with life. Once the kids are raised, we have done our part. Be selfish, you don't need her.

[CaliforniaGirl]

Originally Posted by a64pilot

I keep telling my wife it's HER boat. Not sure she buying that though. After buying her an autoprop for her boat for Christmas, she told me she was going to buy me a ring?
What would I want with a ring?


Sent from my iPad using Cruisers Sailing Forum

Now THAT's funny! She's a keeper

[scotty c-m]

My wife wanted a bigger, more comfortable boat, so we bought it. I love it, and most important, so does she. Ntscout, your boat may be just what you want, but is it a boat that your wife might like? I've got a buddy with a great Express 30. It's fast and fun and as uncomfortable as hell. His wife likes to sail on my boat, but won't go on his!

I agree that you have a lot of issues to figure out with your wife. But, since you asked on a boat forum, I've looked at the boat part of the situation. Just saying.

[4music3]

I say ,you say ,you said ,for better or for worse.

Right now it's worse for you - so pack your bags we are going sailing.

Professional counseling is probably better advice but its really pretty simple.

How long have you been on land - take turns - now it's time for water - don't let her run your life - I'm betting you have been giving plenty just by the fact that you have asked for advice and put the boat up for sale.

I have not read all the posts so this may have played out already.

I'm old fashion so I believe in the husband should have the final say but even if you don't buy that somebody needs to run the show 50/50 is BS and works about as good as two Captains on a boat - if you want her to be the Captain then that's OK and that will work too.

[bizzy]

hard to get a good boat ,,,,,,they still make women tho

[Escape - Linda]

I'm sure I'm not the only one here who is concerned about you and wondering how you will work this out. I hope you will post again (even if it's months from now) and tell us how you're doing. Good luck to you!

[Oceanbrew]

Give your boat to me and be 'happy'?! Is the best answer I can give. No fun on the boat without someone to enjoy it with. At least that's what I find. After awhile sailing with a group of guys isn't that great especially because I know I've got a wife that could be with me but she hates the boat! Join the club! They weren't raised on pirates tales and adventure stories.


Sent from my iPhone using Cruisers Sailing Forum

[ssanzone]

Just a shame that after he leaves his wife he will be vilified for 'choosing the boat over her' which we all agree is not that case.

-steve

[Cadence]

I don't think anyone should be into this.

He has had enough recommendations.

It should be his call.

[DefinitelyMe]

Man........ you have my sincerest sympathies. My advice would be not to sell the boat and tell your wife you'd like to see a marriage councillor. As others have said, it sounds like the boat it only a very small part of the dilemma. Good luck mate.

[OutOfControl]

Originally Posted by ravinracin

There seems to be no question about how important the boat is, very, very important. The question should be how important is the wife, marriage thing that most men find them self in. I loved women very much throughout my life, I worked very hard to keep a woman in my life. Now that I am getting closer to the end I look back and think why? A wife is a pain in the a88. Marriage is a pain in the a88. Kids are a pain in the a88. Working you tail off supporting this whole wifey/marriage/kid thing is crazy. Men have been hoodwinked into thinking this is the thing, right thing to do. How many times have you ever wanted to be doing things with the guys or your particular guy thing but have been doing wifey/marriage/kid things? Shopping, yard work, soccer practice, church, in-laws, on and on and on. You could be sitting on the boat having a beer with the guys and really enjoying yourself. At age 20 women were so necessary, at 69, not so much. At 20, that shapely winch was worth so much. At 69, they are still very nice to look at, but not worth so much when you realize what comes with them. It takes a lot out of a man to support one of those women. I am constantly amazed at how devious, unscrupulous and manipulative a woman can be to get what she wants. I am in a position where I can stand back and observe this behavior and occasionally kick myself for falling for it all these years. Are they worth it? Most think so. To me? No way, I just wish I had woken up from that spell many years ago. I know this post will tick off a lot of women, and I shouldn't be judging them all, but it is my humble old opinion. OP you asked for advice. Do you really need this whole marriage thing? Would you rather answer only to yourself and enjoy your boat, life? It is your call and your happiness. If you get to keep your boat with her permission, will you really be happy next year with the compromises you will have to make? Get on with life. Once the kids are raised, we have done our part. Be selfish, you don't need her.

Sort of wish I had read this 35 years ago.

[Cadence]

Originally Posted by OutOfControl

Sort of wish I had read this 35 years ago.