Spouse hates my boat

[Kreef]

Originally Posted by ntscout

Ok, I stirred up quite a lively debate. I overreacted and made a stupid post. All is well that ends well so this thread needs to come to a close. Love your wife as I do mine and work it out.

It looks like you have the most hits out of any subject here congrats.D

[CLady]

I'm impressed with a lot of the comments here in this thread. I'm a female boat-lover, and ironically, experience something quite similar, hence, remaining single with boat.

[Skip JayR]

Originally Posted by CLady

I'm impressed with a lot of the comments here in this thread. I'm a female boat-lover, and ironically, experience something quite similar, hence, remaining single with boat.

Maybe a boat owner dating website might be a good solution...

"She with boat" looks for "him without boat".

Or: "He with boat" looks for "her with boat" to give up his own rotten boat. :-)

Or: "She with half built boat" looks for "him with half built boat" to glue both together. :-)

[In Training]

I think there already is a boating dating web site. I think I remember reading about it. Maybe somebody on line here remembers. I thought it was hosted by one of the gals that married somebody on it.
Cheryl

[Pegu Club]

What things do you two have in common? outside of the boat thing is she adventurous at all? or is she a stay at home type... For me, I would reverse the ultimatum and put the decision on her, but thats me, do what you will.

[Skip JayR]

Originally Posted by In Training

I think there already is a boating dating web site. I think I remember reading about it. Maybe somebody on line here remembers. I thought it was hosted by one of the gals that married somebody on it.
Cheryl

Cheryl, you made me curious.... and astonishingly there are some out there:

1. I suppose this one is "out of date" (not a good reference for a dating website). Funny name. POF = PLENTY OF FISH. (some old posts)

2. world map about "Sailing Singles Meetups" (kind of speed dating?)

3. Lovesail.... Dating for Single Sailors

4. Sea Captain Date... single Sea Captains for dating and romance

Funny promotion vid...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwRA_X7Hdq8

5. Boating Passions... dating & social networking site for meeting singles with a passion for boating (part of Passions Network)
----

"Boat Buddies - Sea Fishing" ... seems fishing folks have similar problem and need an own dating platform :-)

I suppose most of these platforms just use the name to hook search crawlers like Google being pop-upped.

[Beckett4628]

how long have you been married? it might explain a few things . marriage is a give and take , with many compromises, try and compromise, give her something she wants in return, keep the boat that you also love. Its all about negotiating lol

[crazyoldboatguy]

Originally Posted by Kreef

Bless you do hope you find a healing for that cancer.Do as much as you can to eat good organic food .Definitely leave out sugar as cancer feeds on it !!!!

Kreef found the cure for cancer!

[Sandero]

I need to read and reread this thread because it gets at the issues of having one's own passions about anything and having a marriage where one shares enormous time and shared wealth and dreams and off spring and so on. Marriage should not mean giving up something that is a part of you.

I think we make the marriage decision / commitment before truly knowing how many issues will play out... assuming they will work out fine.

And a relationship with a boat is clearly nothing like a relationship with another human being with a complex psychology. Boats have needs, provide experiences and learning but they don't have psyches, emotional needs, human needs. People are not boats and boats are not people.

[Cadence]

Originally Posted by Sandero

I need to read and reread this thread because it gets at the issues of having one's own passions about anything and having a marriage where one shares enormous time and shared wealth and dreams and off spring and so on. Marriage should not mean giving up something that is a part of you.

I think we make the marriage decision / commitment before truly knowing how many issues will play out... assuming they will work out fine.

And a relationship with a boat is clearly nothing like a relationship with another human being with a complex psychology. Boats have needs, provide experiences and learning but they don't have psyches, emotional needs, human needs. People are not boats and boats are not people.

Maybe you have made the best response to an otherwise BS
thread.

[VinnyVincent]

Originally Posted by ntscout

At least in my case this boat was purchased, improved and maintained with sole and separate funds so i don't have to sell the boat in event of a divorce unless i want to even in a community property state. At 54, I think I am washed up on finding a more rational woman but i could find another boat.

Lets just say you cave in and sell the boat because she wants you to...what will that solve long term?

[jongleur]

Originally Posted by crazyoldboatguy

Kreef found the cure for cancer!

Well, actually, that is true:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUlE1VHGA40

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEE-oU8_NSU

[tobe]

I stumbled across this forum and am so thankful. After reading some of these posts I can totally understand how much my husband loved his boat. I knew it but I see it more after reading through your posts.

However, I also saw many family men state - leave the wife if she has a problem with the boat. The boating life is beautiful when shared but it should not consume you. As the wife, I felt second priority to the boat. I don't think the wife in the original post was going to force the boat sale? Maybe she wanted to know that you loved her more than your boat and she was just upset.

Placing the boat on hold and focusing on your family is a great idea - then making her part of the decision to boat together would be a happy one for her. However, leaving her to boat solo all the time - not a good idea.

A little bit about me - Married for over 15years. For about 6 of those we started boating as a family. Husband wanted to get into it and we did and we enjoyed it for the most part. Although it took every penny to keep it. It was on water 3 months out of the year due to the climate we live in.

Husband was hooked and mortgaged a luxury yacht against my will. Recent years money was very tight and he made the ultimate sacrifice. He sold the yacht, took a huge loss and we kept our home, kids etc. He didn't want to and he highly resents me for it like many of the boaters in this forum said. Many problems began after this.

Like many of you said you would do - He left us, his family after this. He couldn't get over the loss of his boat and resented me. He quickly mortgaged a less expensive boat after selling the yacht. I knew boating was his life so I did not touch it in the legal agreement; trying to avoid divorce but he won't reconcile after all this. I let him have the boat. He found a young beautiful girl - 10 years younger to share his passion with him among others that want to sip cocktails and enjoy the boating life.

All I know is a THING should not replace PEOPLE. Please work together to pursue the goal of family and boating. One party should not have all the say as to which boat, marina, route, etc to take. Or basically they have already made it clear in their minds they are the captain and the crew is easily replaceable.

I really pray you work things out with your wife and see things from her perspective too. Love endures all!

[gonesail]

Originally Posted by ntscout

Looking for help understanding this. Almost cried today when I faxed the signed listing over to the broker. Now I am lost, I don't have any other hobbies or interests. I almost feel like a close friend has died

be careful making a big change like this. you may not totally understand the consequences yet. it's all about compromise. good luck.

[lesterbutch]

I think you are absolutely correct, as much as I loved my boats, they cannot replace
the beautiful person who is my wife! A boat is a cold inanimate object, true they take
On a persona but they should never replace the joy of a mate who has shared the
good and the bad things in life!