Percentages of male solo active cruisers???

[DMCantor]

In the Caribbean, I think we've met about as many female solo cruisers as male. We've met a few very socially non-adept male single-handers. The ladies seem overall pretty normal.

[JPA Cate]

We have not met many female singlehanders, and some men. The wag of 20:1 would be 20 couples to one singlehander. Mostly, it is the women who want to return to shore life, one reason we heard a lot was "the grandchildren." One of the men, though, said he wanted to be involved with the grandchildren, too, and was looking forward to the change, so ya never know.

If you're someone who wants to meet women who are available for cruising, a friend of ours found a friend by searching the hobbies of women on dating sites, then met the few who listed sailing as a hobby. It worked for him.

[sailorboy1]

I've only met 1 female single hander in 2.5 years. And that's just traveling the eastern US and the Bahamas.

[AndyEss]

Originally Posted by Yellowjacket

Where do you find them, Andy?

Before the "where" is the "how".
1) have a reasonably clean, well maintained, seaworthy boat.
2) ditto for yourself.
3) a very little bit of curmudgeon gives one personality. A lot of curmudgeon is a drag. Speaking for myself, I sail to get away from the rest of the world going to hell in a handbasket. I don't bring that with me.
If you can't be mostly happy on your own boat, sailing where you want, with whom ever you want - you are impossible to please. Who in their right mind would want to be with you for any length of time?
4) I live on my boat most of the year. Base your boat where cruisers tend to gather. Participate in local activities, learn new cuisines, pick up some languages, even if it's just hello, thank you, I like this, where's the bathroom, one more beer please.
5) try to learn to dance - many women like to dance. Most women try to look good in public. Don't make them feel like they are wasting their time being seen with you. Leave your work clothes and totally casual clothes on the boat if you go out on the town. Have at least a couple of nice shirts, shorts, or slacks to wear on a date. Spend some time on personal grooming, exercise.
6) being seen as a skinflint is unattractive. That doesn't mean throwing money around like an 18th century drunk sailor in attempts to buy someone's affection. (OTOH, having the experience of being a sugar daddy at least once in your life isn't the worst way to blow your entertainment budget.) Creature comforts, much as high quality materials in maintaining our boats, are important in maintaining ourselves and our friendships.
7) Besides for cards on marina bulletin boards and announcements on morning cruising nets, I've liked Findacrew. I haven't tried other sites, and I'm not on FB. I have encountered one scammer on FAC (IMO) and the site was very proactive in policing itself, but caveat emptor.

[GafferMate]

Great reply, AndyEss.


I recently read "Complaining is not a Strategy" so to Yellowjacket and others like myself who have looked at Soul Mates on this site and given up on it...is there someone with the skills to clean up that site, make it current? Or lacking that, could those who have found their mates remove their own names?

[Lihuedooley77]

Pretty much an individual choice.

You make the choice to sail off to what ever and amazing fantastic ,
great adventures lie ahead. Pretty obvious that you may not wish to
do this the rest of your life by yourself .

You have to chose, being alone, on board your boat, or would you rather share natures wonders, and the overall sailing experience with some one.

Ahh yes, having a Bundy Rum as the Southern Cross rises off your stern in Australia, or sharing the pleasure of boat drinks during sunset moored or anchored off a Caribbean beach with steel drums flowing across the calm waters.

All that is an individual choice.

Personally, we feel that we want to share those special displays of
mother nature and sailing adventures with a special person . To us
it makes life more rewarding.

I would think that a solo sailor, who wants a companion to experience
a cruising life, would be able have a great time hanging around
the docks, and beach and dock side grub and grog shops.

Good stuff, perhaps, meet some of those who dream of far off islands,
getting away from the rat race and embracing adventures at sea.

Where to find them " Maybe harbor side restaurants, or yacht clubs, sailing clubs, and marinas. Many people are drawn to the ocean and beaches.

What also comes into effect, is that special person should be willing to learn
sailing and become a viable crew . Where both the cruiser and the
best beloved become a team. Or maybe keep it simple , a rum and some slip sailing might be perfect for them.

As a solo cruiser, and if you have the gift of personality, and adventure, each port may become a fox farm, and live for the moment.

Hargghhh, matey, maybe mix and match, and ride the wave of life
sailing where the wind takes you you.

What counts is what makes you feel good .

[ksanders]

Wow!, a lot of good stuff here.

I’m just a guy that midlife fell in love with the idea of exploring by boat. Kids are long gone, and career is ending. It’s frigging cold in Alaska, and there is a whole world out there to explore. I am not a fan of snow.

My wife is a good person that has other interests, more based around the home than I want to be. This diverging of interests has lead us to be in different places, both mentally and physically. Not good, or bad, but we each only have this one life to live, and we want different things. Until fairly recently she was willing to go out for a few days at a time, but was never going to long distance cruise. We both knew that, but I was hoping like many men hope.

So... I stay on my boat, and go home occasionally to help out etc... I am pretty sure that is how things will continue but one never knows. The only thing I do know is that I am not going to spend my last couple decades watching snowflakes fall, trapped inside a house in Alaska for 6 months of the year...Dreaming. I’m 57 so I figure I’ve got maybe 15 to 20 years max. I’ve done my job as a husband, and a father, and a provider. Spent my whole adult life doing what was expected of me and I have no regrets about it. That said now it’s my time.

I bought my current boat (having had several smaller boats) in 2011 and have spent the last several years cutting my teeth gaining seamanship skills and fitting her out as a liveaboard cruising platform while wrapping up my working life.

The boat is ready, and I am almost ready, and Baja is calling my name

[GILow]

Originally Posted by degouwb

Get a non shedding dog....great company and she will always agree with you.

There, fixed it for you. The OP is a single male, he probably doesn't need further cleaning challenges.

[ksanders]

Originally Posted by GILow

There, fixed it for you. The OP is a single male, he probably doesn't need further cleaning challenges.

No dogs, and I’m not a lonely soul looking for a cruising mate.

That said I prefer a harbor and harbor town to explore more at this stage than the solitude of a anchorage.

[SV Bacchus]

Originally Posted by sailorboy1

I've only met 1 female single hander in 2.5 years. And that's just traveling the eastern US and the Bahamas.

We met 2 in Boot Key Harbor. But they were liveaboards, I don't think their boats have moved in years. They may have had hidden boyfriends but every time we talked to them or visited them they were alone.

[Scaramanga F25]

"Singles for Sailing" Miami.

[GafferMate]

Years ago, leaving Baja, there was a married couple setting off to cross the Pacific that had identical small boats (Flickas?), she had hers and he, his. Last year a French couple, long term partners, arrived in Port Bonbobon, with their own boats. He readily acknowledged that she was the more avid sailor, her boat spartan and fast while his was the larger, more comfortable cruiser. She rowed her dinghy; his has a small outboard.